Husband of 20 years caught flirting on playstation..Do I have a right to be this angry?

[brokenhearted1]

ok this is tough for me...but my hubby works long hours and doesn't get home till late...i try to stay up with him and have time for him but we also have small kids..so I have to get them up for preschool and school early so its hard to stay up late..anyway to the dilemma..i dozed off on couch other night and heard him on call of duty talking to a girl...and something didn't feel right(instincts) but I dismissed it as just the game and just conversation..so next day when I looked I saw that he sent her messages telling her she sounded really cute and her voice was "inspiring him" ...we have been married 20 years and this crushed me...am I overreacting? when I confronted him ..he acted like he didn't know which messages...and then we didn't talk rest of night..i went to bed and woke up a couple hours later and he was playing the damn game again and she was on there again...so that was a total slap in the face...;so what do I do now? keep being pissed ...i mean he didn't even acknowledge it or apologize...this is so out of character for him ...i think but I'm not sure anymore maybe I'm living in dreamlife and didn't realize it ...HELP!

[2wintune]

The same thing happened to me with my wife. She was flirting with a couple guys, calling them sexy and sending pictures back and fourth. I confronted her and she denied it until I showed her proof. She started crying and apologized but I don't trust her any more.

[Whistling_Dixie]

A man between 36 and 45 playing, I mean PLAYING, Playstation? I'll be damn!

[brokenhearted1]

yes playing every night for 3-4 hours even!

[Whistling_Dixie]

Anywho, for all you know, he is so out of touch of your feeling about all that. Before you get all worked out about it, I think you should explain it to him just like how you explained it to us. I was in a situation, once, where I got pissed at someone about something only to realize the girl didn't even realize that what she did pissed me off.

[Deft_maiden]

I did not know girls play cod. Lol you play against live players? sorry need a bit of clarification before I answer.

[brokenhearted1]

yes ..its live online and you can join your"friends" in their game...so the two of them play in the same lobby the whole time he is on there..

[Deft_maiden]

Ok. You have been married for 20 years. Ur busy with kids and have little time for him. I don't want to unnecessarily alarm you. But the fact that he denied it and did not apologize is a red flag. Do not take this incident lightly. If he is not involved with the kids,pass on some

Responsibilities to him. taking or picking them up from preschool. Have him take care of them

When he comes home and you go out or work out. Create more couples time. See how that goes. if not then seek counseling.

[brokenhearted1]

i try really hard to make all the time I can for him really I do ..plan romantic nights..dinner always cooked for him and waiting when he comes home...lady when we go somewhere..but a freak in the sheets lol...so I guess I'm just taken aback by this so much...i wish I could just pack my things and disappear for a few days but I really don't have anyone I could stay with withouit a million questions..and I have made it a practice over all these years to not air our dirty laundry out

[Deft_maiden]

Understood. Would you say you are each others' best friends? You share laughs? Does he talk and open up to u? Do you do the things he likes to do with him? At this point it is clear he is seeking other female's attention. That is the red flag!

[brokenhearted1]

i truly am not tooting my own horn here..but I either do or have always done the things he likes..i fish with him and hunt with him if he wants me too...i give him the chance to do things with his friends first and he usually wants me to go and I do willingly, and we have fun...i thought we were best friends, we talk...i always have to drag things out of him because he is a quiet very reserved person..always has been...i am just stumped...am I a perfect wife...By all means No...

[Deft_maiden]

A family man who plays ps for hours everynight and works long hours.I don't know the whole story and I'm sure your a good wife and a friend. He sounds like he is not all there for his family and is very selfish with his time. Do you see the picture here? Does he really "work" that late? Are you sure about that? I'd investigate his activities. There are many missing pieces in this puzzle.

[chris009xx]

hahaha I like your answer baldr

but on a serious note I wouldn't take it too serious you don't no the whole story maybe he did to make her feel better I don't know you can talk to him and stuff

[Baldr]

Little boys voices sound a lot like girls voices online...tell him to keep that in mind.

[brokenhearted1]

hahaha good one ...but her name is that one of a girl...but that would be freaking hilarious

[Baldr]

That it would.