Should I reach out to him after 2 months of no contact?

[Anonymous]

I was 40 minutes late to our first date. He was very rude to me after that. After that he didn’t want to talk to me or see me again. He told me” I don’t want to waste time, I’m looking for my soulmate and good wife”. I tried to apologize to him but he wasn’t having it. He denied being mad…

He ignored my last message which I asked ” what are you upto” . After that I went no contact.

[Curmudgeon]

I would let him go. He likely has already moved on.

In the future, do text ahead if you are going to be late and apologize in advance. But take heart, if any future guy is still petty with you after such a prudent advance notice gesture on your part, he was not right for you.

[Asker]

I don't know if he really has moved on..

[Asker]

If he didn’t really got mad would he brought it up after the date? After the date I reached out to him first. After some small talk I
asked him what he thought about our meeting. He said “ oh do you mean when you were late? I forgot about that long time ago”

[Curmudgeon]

Well, if it's really getting to you, go ahead and text him again. Now be prepared to be rejected, perhaps even brutally, but if that happens, at least you know.

[Asker]

Thb he was brutal in June. I don't know why he was sp harsh :/

[Asker]

Also what do you think about his answer when I asked him what he thought about our meeting

[Curmudgeon]

"TBH he was brutal in June. I don't know why he was so harsh"

Because he felt you took him and his time for granted, and it irked him. I understand that; it takes one to know one.

"Also what do you think about his answer when I asked him what he thought about our meeting"

Well, his answer indicates that he *has not* forgotten about it, then again perhaps he meant no hard feelings and he has forgiven you. Anyway, since it is bugging you, reach out once more. What have you got to lose, other than perhaps a harsh rejection?

[Asker]

I don’t want to look desperate/crazy…

[20yearsolder]

Why would you want to reach out to an asshole like this. As long as you apologize for being late, there was no need for him to be rude. Go find somebody that appreciates your company

[Asker]

I didn’t first apologize enough apparently. I just texted him ”sry about that”

[20yearsolder]

So he sets the rules on how much you apologize? That should have been sufficient.

[Asker]

After the date he mentioned about me being late. I don't know if he was expecting me to apologize again

[20yearsolder]

I'm just telling you that if on the very first date he's getting upset over you being 40 minutes late, to the point that he's bringing it up later. Of you two not talking for 2 months. Doesn't sound like a winner to me

[Asker]

If he didn’t really got mad would he brought it up after the date? After the date I reached out to him first. After some small talk I
asked him what he thought about our meeting. He said “ oh do you mean when you were late? I forgot about that long time ago”

[20yearsolder]

There should be your answer, he's still pissed off that you were late. Please don't waste your time on this guy. He's not worth it

[Asker]

Why would he say he forgot about ir long time ago

[20yearsolder]

It means you forgot about the date, not that you were late. He still pissed off about you being late

[Asker]

He forgot our date?

[20yearsolder]

Yes meaning it wasn't memorable.

[Asker]

He said “ oh do you mean when you were late? I forgot about that long time ago”

[20yearsolder]

My interpretation is don't waste your time on trying to date this guy. You're never going to please him

[Asker]

” Yes meaning it wasn't memorable.” damn why would he be so mean and harsh….

[Asker]

He could’ve meant no hard feelings and he has forgiven me.

[20yearsolder]

I'm just giving you my interpretation. He was a jerk from the beginning and I don't see him changing

[Asker]

If guy is acting like a jerk wouodn’t that mean that he’s pissed and I somehow hurted him?

[20yearsolder]

No it doesn't mean you hurt him, some guys are just fucking jerks. Being late for a date is not life ending. Why even bring it up at the end of the date? If you both had a good time then he should have wanted to date you pretty damn quick right after

[Asker]

He brought it up after we were texting week after the date …

[20yearsolder]

Yeah that's even worse, a week later he's still fucking pissed. What part of this don't you understand

[Asker]

He never reached out first after the date..

[Asker]

I want to try again with him..

[20yearsolder]

Listen genius, do you think there's a reason he didn't reach out after the first date? Obviously you don't get it. So let me spell it out for you. He didn't have a good time the first time. He was too pissed off that you were 40 minutes late. I don't know how the rest of the date went. I wasn't there but I'm giving you my honest opinion and I don't have much more to say about it.

[Asker]

I hope after he’s cooled down he would like to try again..

[20yearsolder]

It's been how long now? In my opinion he was once again rude saying that he'd forgotten you and that date. Not meaning he forgiven you for being late. I wish you the best of luck but I don't see this turning out well. If you actually go on another date, I would really love an update

[Asker]

Why would he dislike me soo much? Because he felt disrespected?

[20yearsolder]

First off because he's a fucking asshole. Yeah I guess so, like I said before. If you showed up on a date with me and you were 40 minutes late. As soon as I get an explanation why you're 40 minutes late. It's over. I'm there to have a good time on a date. Not focus on how late you were

[Asker]

I guess he’s a sensitive guy

[20yearsolder]

Wow, you just don't get it. It has nothing to do about sensitivity. I would call him a douchebag in my book. If you want to put yourself through that shit again, be my guest. But please let me know when it goes downhill rapidly. Just so I can say I told you so

[Asker]

He’s the type of guy that got mad when he wished me goodnight and have a good workday and I responded to him in the morning ” thanks. sorry I had already fallen asleep”

[20yearsolder]

That's my exact point, he's a fucking douche

[In_Trance]

Nope