Why have I long identified more with old age and feel like a 84 year old?

Im hesitant to believe in astorogy but my vedic moon sign is the last astrology sign Pisces and the nakshatra is utarbhadra which is symbolized by the legs of a death funeral bed. I go through life and everyone else has all this energy and surprised-ness... Ugh im so over this crap i wonder when i will get to die.

I look younger than my age but inside im like an old cobwebbed crypt with the lid almost closing... Just a cold freezing old soul in a way... On a long hard old road... Waiting slowly for that old long day to end.

Why have I long identified more with old age and feel like a 84 year old?
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