My independance kills his masculinity?

Question

I notice my boyfriend act less manly Less gentleman like as he used to before I know males want to feel needed and feel like saviour or hunters etc How to revive this feeling in my man Also he has very low self asteem and feels ugly  Even having me as his girlfriend he feels ugly and insecure

quaranta · Accepted Answer

Most likely the problem is in himself, but you might raise his self esteem up a bit anyway, which could contribute in positive.
Random ideas I have: I think you could tell him, after a long day, how you feel safe in his arms, and if there wasn't him you would break down etc. Or safe in hearing his voice, something that confirms his presence is "protective".
Another thing you could do is to ask him completing some tasks that are not too difficult but also not too granted, like especially fixing something needed or urgent you're insecure to fix (maybe he is too but let him carry the thing), and then thanking him a lot for how useful his help was, so he will feel special and needed.
Another thing men like to do is to prove they know a lot of stuff and have strong right opinions, so you might try to approach an area of his interests and let him teach you something about that, without trying to outskill him, just following instructions and being satisfied of the small steps already.
You could also ask him to drive the car (if you're the one driving it usually), to reach places you don't know yet but he knows better, so he feels like a guidance.
Any time he does something protective show your appreciation for that, even subtle, never dismiss.
Allow him to surprise you, put you both in a situation where he has the chance to be creative to surprise you with something, which should be a context where he knows the options better, around, than you, and accept what he offers.
Push him in a situation where he is motivated to improve his looks, like for example organizing a travel in a place where there are cool looking people occasionally (seasides) so you can show him your attraction to his improved look and how proud you are to hang out through people with someone as handsome.
I hope these random ideas can give you some inspiration...

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Masculine, confident, successful men have no use and no interest (except perhaps for some casual rough sex) with "independent women." The men who get into relationships with "independent women" are weak submissive men.

You've been indoctrinated by Feminism and you've BECOME the man you want to be with, but that only ensures that those men will want nothing to do with you. Look at the women that the kind of men you want actually date: they are quiet, feminine, friendly, submissive women who are happy to follow their man's lead and take care of him at home. Those men don't get into relationships with "independent women", who are loud, opinionated, and argumentative. Men assign those things a NEGATIVE value. Your education, your degrees, and your career aren't things that men value in a relationship partner, any more than you'd value a man's Star Wars toy collection.

Sure, if you're hot, they'll still smash, but once they do, you'll likely never hear from them again.

Lionman95 · Accepted Answer

Maybe he needs to find friends. I mean good friends that help him get in shape or help to improve and show him that he has qualities because the guy you´re dating so highly insecure and what he needs is self-confidence. He has to work on his self-asteem because the current state doesn´t sound healthy.
If you wanna make him more appreciated you can tell him once in a while that you appreciate him being around and that you like that he is or was different than the other guys.
Because the moment he gains self-confidence he´ll act manly again.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

The problem isn't your independence. The problem is that he's unsatisfied with his life and needs to find new hobbies, friends, and otherwise make changes to feel more intentional in life.

20yearsolder · Answer

You can't fix him, he has to want to fix himself. He needs to talk with the therapist

maximumpower · Answer

Maybe it's your attitude and condescending mannerisms... It certainly reads that way.

Anonymous · Answer

That's his problem not yours

Apologies456 · Answer

GRRRRR😡😡😡

My independance kills his masculinity?

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He doesn’t want to be exclusive am I wrong for what happened?

My independance kills his masculinity?

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He doesn’t want to be exclusive am I wrong for what happened?

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