Guys, He feels attacked, I feel my character repressed?

[Anonymous]

If someone is looking at me funny, regardless of gender, I ask my partner if he knows them. I noticed He gets mad at me for asking when it's a women because he thinks I'm attacking him or accusing him of something since he has cheated in the past. I truly want to know if he knows the person before I subtlety confront the person I feel is giving me some kinda look ( give a smile, quick wave, or ask them directly if we know each other in a friendly manner) If I feel a sense that someones giving me the side eye, I like to clear the air right then and there, calmly, respectfully.

we were out last night and I asked him simply with no inflection in my voice or attitude, if he knew the lady that kept looking in our direction, then the night crashed and burned there. He said he feels attacked,. like I'm accusing him of something And that he doesn't like to go out in public because he feels attacked. I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. it really has nothing to do with accusations or cheating, it's really me feeling like someone's staring, and wanting to clarify with him if he knows them or not before I go over to the person to find out subtlety wtf they're staring at.

His reaction to my question then makes me start to spiral into thinking that he's maybe he is guilty of something else and then I'm in a loop in my head about it, when he could have said yes or no. Had he said yes, cool, now it makes sense why the person is staring. Had he said no then I would have made my next move. I wouldn't care if he asked me the same.

Any advice, insight, tips. I hate arguing with my partner. I just want peace

[Guy13]

You sound over the top to me. I would give you space and let you be knowing you will never get over the cheating.

[Asker]

The thing is it's not about cheating. I'm okay with an open relationship as all my previous relationships were, I'm against being unfair. Aside from that my question to him wasn't related to cheating at all. I don't like people staring, i wanted to clarify with him before i approached the person. It was not tied into cheating or accusations, that was his assumption

[Guy13]

Ask him why he thinks that everyone you ask about is someone that he has slept with? Why does he think this. Obviously, he thinks that you think he sleeps with everything that moves... Make sense?

[Asker]

Yes, i understand what you're saying. He is convinced that it's because of cheating, yet i can't get him to understand it has NOTHING To do with me thinking he's cheating but feeling disrespected by the outside world. However, His automatic defensiveness then makes me start thinking he's guilty about something, which i try to shrug off. I'm so annoyed by this. I feel like i have to hush myself so he stays undisturbed because he jumps the gun to this is related to cheating. Again, i do appreciate your input.

[Guy13]

You both have to fight your initial urges and let things go. No one even cares about you much less take the time to know you. You are making things up...

[Pyrofox]

Guys in general like to be chill, instigating suspicion is probably gonna only make your boyfriend on edge when he doesn't need to be. Also don't become one of those boss bitch girls who gets their boyfriend in fights just cause the man can fight. That goes back to what I said. Guys like the easy chill lifestyle if you through too many hills or mountains in the way he's gonna just bolt.

[Asker]

I wouldn't just go up to someone and ask them wtf they're looking at. The whole point is to not cause him an issue, it would be the same story if i was with a friend or a relative, he just happened to be the person i was with at the time. That's why i asked if he knew the person. It's only when it's a female that he gets defensive thinking it's a matter of me accusing him of something when i am not.