Guys, How to know if a guy is a true friend or playing you?

[Anonymous]

I'm friends with a guy at work. It's nothing more than a friendship. I like him as a person, but sometimes he blows hot and cold and it seems like he doesn't want our friendship. This is hurting me and very confusing, because I value his friendship. But at times, I feel like he's playing mind games. Sometimes it's as though he wants me in his life, then other times it's as though he doesn't at all 😕

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[Lucifer_01]

oh dear. I can understand. One time they become good person and after a 10 min they become something else. Sometimes they can give us a cold look, that look give us chill.
The thing is he have some issues in his life and don't wanna share with anyone.
That thing keep triggering him time to time, that's why he had mood swinging.

Try to learn his mood, Don't let him be alone. That loneliness is making him remind all that thing which concerned him.

OR

He don't want this friendship, but I don't think so this could be the option.

OR

He is afraid that he'll fall in love with you.

OR

See there are so many possibilities, These are some things which I gone through and which I have observed.

But You know you should ask him straight.
I know you want to ask him.
Just go girl. GO

[Asker]

Thank you. What should I say to him?

[Lucifer_01]

Be patience don't go and suddenly ask him, girl don't, we don't have to give him heart attack.
Act normally, do what you do everyday, when you meet him talk to him as everyday you do,
when after some time, when he change his mood or act different ask him directly
"what happen?"
maybe he'll say 'sorry?', 'excuse me?', 'leave it'
maybe he can avoid it, ignore you or are chances to get mad.
But you don't have to worry about it.

Some people don't like to share feelings or they are afraid of.
If he ignore you, invite him for coffee or lunch , talk to him talk about this behavior.
take an easy, don't force, its a long day, be patience.

[Asker]

Thank you so much

[RealMarek]

Consistency and time will make it clear. So far you are seeing that he is inconsistent. Bad sign. Don’t put much stock in his friendship.

[DaveJord]

I would say its because he wants more than a friendship, but apparently he knows that you don't. He is nice to you because he as to be, you work together, he still has hopes, but then he also knows it never going to happen. It probably all started because he thought there was chance and that if he was nice you would warm up to him romantically.

See here is the deal with guys, that have women who just want to be friends but they still are attracted to them... the women gets all the benefits of the friendship and does have to date him. So he has these feelings, and he starts to feel taken advantage of or unappreciated. But you work together so its not like he can just break off the friendship, but he is probably tired of having to maintain it when he is not getting what he would want out of it.

[Asker]

The things is , he td me when our friendship started that he wasn't ready for dating or a relationship. He said he had too much to sort out in his life before he'd every consider a relationship. He's always made it clear he doesn't like me in a romantic way

[DaveJord]

Then he's just an ass hole, with issues.

[Asker]

Yeah, I'm starting to think that too

[DaveJord]

👍 All the talk about raising awareness for mental health issues... when it comes to dating and relationships run, run fast and far away.

People want you to pretend its not thier fault that they can't help it. Well, I say BS.

[Asker]

He's started to give me the silent treatment now 😟he did that the last time he did this to me. Should I just all contact with him? his behavior is having an awful effect on me emotionally. Why do you think he blows hot and cold then gives me the silent treatment?

[DaveJord]

Yup. Cut it off. When he warms up again ignore him. Plenty of better guys put there. Trust me I been with people like this, and its good when it's good and absolute hell when its not... you look back later and feel like a complete idiot, becaus it really never was. any but bad.

[Asker]

I have changed my number. I'm gonna work on myself to recover from it. I feel I've been on a roller coaster of emotions. His behavior has me dragged down. Thank you so much for your advice

[Rizack]

I wish I could answer but I don't know myself even if I'm a male xD
Personally, I have a lot of friends whom I'd like to do things with, but I respect them so much that I don't even think I'd be able to really do it if I ever got the chance.
I'd say to ask him directly, there are a lot of times where a guy mistakes sole girls behavior to be flirty when it's not

[Losalt]

It's possible that he's struggling with something in his life and just needs some space sometimes.
I know that it's difficult.
But try to put yourself in his shoes.
And try to imagine what *he* is thinking and feeling.

[JPresidente]

True friends would engage you in a consistent manner and treat you the same. This guy does not seem to fit that mold.

[joinerrvi]

There's no such thing as being just friends with the opposite sex without sleeping with each other. If y'all can f**k and still be friends, then y'all can call each other friends, if not, then that friendship is only the beginning to a more than friends ship. Do you know who your opponent is in this, Mother nature. You can only spend so much time with someone before nature takes it's course

[CallmeTheKnight]

Lack of consistency is an indicator that it's not a real friendship.

[Guy13]

Are you dating this friend or are you simply workmates?

[Asker]

Work friends.

[Guy13]

Gotcha now. Sometimes you are the woman he envisions and sometimes you are not. That can be painful when I am and am Not the man that another I value wants to be around. Perhaps, he is weighing the scales ⚖️

⚖️

[Anonymous]

Here's a clue, stop trying to make friends at work.

[Anonymous]

You answered your own question "I'm friends with a guy at work. It's nothing more than a friendship. I like him as a person"

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he's not playing you maybe you're playing him

[Opinion Owner]

You friend zoned him then ask if he's playing you lady that's fucked up if anything you're playing him

[Opinion Owner]

He's acting hot and cold because you see him as a friend while you chase after other guys

[Opinion Owner]

The woman I deeply love only said I love you to me one time in the past 5 years but has no problem saying it to guys she's known for 4 to 6 months. Think about that long and hard for a moment

[Asker]

I'm not chasing guys at all. I've been single along time. He's never showed signs of romantic interest in me.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah he probably has in the beginning but you didn't bother

[In_Trance]

doesn't seem like a friendship to me

[Zygum]

He doesn't like you