Can somebody explain what happen?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this guy for few weeks now. One time we decided to go out and i suggested if we go to this rooftop restaurant in a hotel. He agrees and told me that he likes the place wants a quality time with me. Then he also want to book the hotel room so HE can lay down a bit because he’s been too tired and the hotel is nice. So I’m like okay whatever. Long story short, we got to the point where he really lay down and take some rest. I didn’t bother him at all. Then, I just layed next to him. few moments later he start to make move to have sex, i said no couple times. we never had sex after dates before so i didn't expect it coming, i was just shocked and not ready. He was so upset and said “I’m just gonna go home” and then left me there inside the room. I’m like “what?” It wasn’t like him at all, i didn’t expect him to act that way. We had great dates before without sex included. Moment later after he left me alone, he texted me “If it’s gonna be like that, why would you suggest to go to a hotel? I would rather go home” i didn't respond. i mean i sugested the hotel because it has great restaurant with great view 🙄 Moment later he texted me
“This is weird, I’m so embarrassed to myself” I didn't respond
“could you please respond? I’m worried about you”
“are you home? ple
in my head i was like wtf?
Then he keeps calling me and i didn't respond
Can someone explain what just happen?
Is he pissed because I reject him?
Before the dates he told me himself that he wats to talk, having quality times, and relax just like we always do
why does he left me like that and then keep texting me he is worried🙄?

[MrOracle]

I'm tempted to be really mean, but I am instead going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you are really naive and were sheltered, but I am still going to be direct, because I need to get the message through to you.

Guys take a woman on a date for two reasons: because he is vetting you for a serious relationship, or because he wants sex. No other reasons.

If he's vetting you for a serious relationship, the date will be focused on talking and discussing issues of long-term compatibility and your possible future. These discussions do not require fancy dinners, fancy drinks, or hotel rooms.

A guy only takes a girl (that he's not already in a committed relationship with) on a fancy or expensive date for ONE reason, and he only gets a hotel room for ONE reason. And as a girl, you only accept such dates, and go to the hotel room, and climb into bed, for ONE REASON.

This is the way the whole world works. He fully expected that you understood the protocol, which is why he spent all the money and effort. If you didn't want to follow through, then it was your job to refuse the date (or suggest a different schedule of activities), and certainly to make it clear that you weren't going to his hotel room (BEFORE he paid for it), and for fucks sake, you don't get in bed with him.

I'm NOT telling you that you owed him sex, but if you weren't going to give him sex, then you DID owe him the truth about that UP FRONT, BEFORE you let him spend a bunch of money on you.

Imagine a guy invited you to a wedding, and you had to go buy a special, one-time dress and shoes, and pay to get your hair and makeup done, and then he never picks you up and he goes to the wedding without you - how would you feel? That's how he feels.

It's no big deal to you because you aren't out all of the money he had to work hard for to take you on that date. If you came over to hang out with him at home and you refused sex, he would be disappointed, but not upset. But you let him spend a lot of money on you when the social convention is that you only do that when you are willing to give the guy sex. Essentially, you misled him, and you had multiple opportunities to clarify things, and you kept letting him spend money on you.

If you honestly didn't know this, you need to know it and take more responsibility in the future.

[Asker]

thank you for you answer 🙏
but honestly that day, i was the one who payed for the date

[MrOracle]

Including the hotel room?

[Anonymous]

You're headache...
I'm surprised he still trying to contact you.
I immediately block drama n headache.