During stress he breaks up with me?

[Anonymous]

why when my boyfriend is angrybor mad at others

His first responce is to call me or text me and breakup with me

Im not even present there

Im the one who always supports him

But always need to be the one who pays what others do to him... why?

In less than a day he always comes back

[Anonymous]

Weird that you even let him break up with you over and over then take him back each time. How’s he supposed to appreciate your presence in his life or see your value when he’s learned that no matter how big of an asshole he is you’ll still be right there? There’s nothing endearing about being a doormat.

[Asker]

But i know he breaks up with me like a cjild who grabs his stuff and threatens to go away
Its the same
He is never serious about it

[Asker]

Im not a doormat mat
Im pretty badass
I just wrote the silliest situation between us

[Opinion Owner]

Being a doormat means you allow someone to treat you poorly, and by the way you repeatedly get disrespected and broken up with, yes you are a doormat. You keep rationalizing this situation as if it’s just silly temper tantrums but that’s terrible and embarrassing coming from him who is a grown ass adult acting like a child. If he’s got mental issues then he needs to get professional Help, otherwise this will keep being a pattern and there’s nothing cute or romantic about his behavior.

[Asker]

He acts like this with everybody
His daughter his mom his work colegues his boss
He got mad at his dsughter and wrote down daughter... on his phone
Same with me he got angry at me and instead of my name wrote it like work collegue
We work together
He has paranoia and panic attacks
He is not well
Funny thung
I said "i dont want to be with unstable person!"
His asnwer"you are too bossy,*proceeds to cooy my voice* I want this i want that i dont want unstable people..."
I mean... he made no sense lol
I can't get fully mad at this circus

[Asker]

I said it ill find him a psychiatric

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like you’re parenting another adult, which I don't know how you can laugh off that is deeply concerning behavior. He should be finding his own psychiatrist but probably doesn’t want to do the work. He’d rather sit around while you do it as if you’re his mom and caretaker smh.

[Asker]

So.. when your so has mental issues you are suppised to walk away?
What about love care and all the things couple have inside their relationship

[Opinion Owner]

So, when your S/O is breaking up with you all the time, throwing temper tantrum’s and not doing the work on his own to find help, you’re supposed to stay and justify bad behavior with mental issues? Absolutely not. You 100% right, love and care is important in a relationship but there is nothing loving or caring when he treats people like that. Not every action is associated with mental illness. Sometimes it’s just an excuse to get away with being an asshole.

[Asker]

He is lonely... he is an asshole... but how can i explain it... he is My asshole, know what i mean
He has no true friends... his ex sued him to get last cent from his pocket
people laugh at him
He is such a terrible loser, he is miserable
I feel lots of pity

[Opinion Owner]

Well hey, I’m not here to judge you, and if you plan to stick beside him no matter what then that’s your choice, but let me ask this. Imagine you two stay together long enough to have a kid (or kids), what kind of dynamic are you going to bring them up in? If it’s a girl, she will learn that a man can treat her with disrespect and it’s ok. If it’s a boy, he will learn exactly the same thing. In both cases, your son would grow to have no respect for you or other women, and your daughter will grow to accept men who treat her how this man treats you, because you are normalizing this for both of them. You can say “oh no that would never happen, I’d never allow it”, but if you accept it now, then what stops your kids from growing up in it in the future? To me, that is a pretty shitty example to set, and I say this kindly. Your boyfriend is a “loser”, so he has a bad outlook on the world and takes his anger and hurt out on those that love him. This is not ok, and enabling his behavior by taking him back each time with no consequences and just dismissal is not ok. I know you love him and want to support him, but if that’s the case then start setting some boundaries and demand respect. Because things will never change at this rate if you don’t stop being afraid of losing him and love yourself just a bit more than loving him.

[Asker]

How can i put bondaries?
He is like a dog with rabbies
Lol

[Opinion Owner]

Well, the first step is acknowledging and accepting that this is not ok behavior. You may laugh it off and rationalize it as “well he treats his mom and sister the same so it’s cool!” (Which is already super bad if you think about it). But that’s his mom, who is going to love him unconditionally no matter what as her child, and his sister, who’s known him her whole life, and grew up loving him about as much as his mom does. But you’re just his girlfriend, not even his wife, so don’t commit yourself to “unconditional love in sickness and in health” because his blood family feels cuffed to him, that’s just silly. Next, love yourself enough to demand respect. If you truly loved yourself, you would be like “I’ve done absolutely nothing to earn his disrespect. I’ve stood beside him through it all and I’m done being treated this way”. Thinking like this will allow you to UPHOLD the boundaries, which I think should be telling him to get help or you’re done, and if he breaks up with you again then you’re done. And mean that shit girl because right now he’s not afraid to lose you. So what if he comes back the next day, he’s still breaking up with you and to me that shows resentment and not appreciating your presence in his life. If just one time you really forced him to stand by the breakup, be strong asf and ignore him, he’d see that you’re not playing around anymore and he needs to stop.

[spartan55]

He does it because you allow it. You are with a child. Are there no better options?

[Asker]

Wha you mean i allow it
Ofc i dont
I said i dont wanna be with him if he is this unstable

[spartan55]

I mean you allow it... who is taking him back? YOU ARE
"Of course I don't"... Wow, you are in serious denial.

[Asker]

I put my rules
If he does it again ill drop him
He knows

[Asker]

Its second time he did this and its the last one
He knows

[Asker]

But he has mental problems
He is not acting right in the head when breaks up with me