My boyfriend stopped following certain girls on Instagram?

[Anonymous]

So I told my boyfriend back in May that I felt uncomfortable with him following women on Instagram who aren’t even his friends. The reason was because they would post sexy photos etc. I told him he could still follow them but that it made me uncomfortable. Recently he stopped following them but I just checked his Instagram and he kept following this one girl for longer. I don't know if she was his ex or not bu they did he keep following her out of everyone? I just wanna know why he still kept following her and this other girl who’s account is private. He still follows one girl too but he said he doesn’t have female friends anymore or so he claims. So why does he keep following her. Is he texting her secretly or just a random moot. He’s really reassuring in our relationship but I don't know why I feel weird. I’ve thought about dming the girl to see if he’s texted her but i Don’t want to make our relationship bad. We’re doing fine. But I wanna know if he’s texting her or how he knows her since she follows him back. I feel bad for thinking about it but is it wrong if I text the girl he followed on Instagram to see if she says she knows him. Also to find out how he knows her? Am I doing too much or just overthinking?

[Anonymous]

Doing waaay too much stop it! If you still have trauma from an ex who messed up or you’re insecure or whatever then take care of that separately but don’t make him pay for something that isn’t his fault.

[Opinion Owner]

The fact you’re even stalking his followers to the T like this is just way too much. You’re scared of being hurt I get it we all have that, but if it’s to the extent that you cannot give him trust when he’s done nothing to deserve your skepticism is unfair and will break you up quick.

[Asker]

Your right I have been hurt but he’s given me reasons to not trust him. He hides his phone around me and doesn’t tell me when I’m like why are laughing or smiling at your phone. He just like oh it’s a friend. I’m not gonna text or dm anyone cos ur right it’ll ruin our relationship but it’s just the way my bfs acted around me. He’s hidden his phone and doesn’t let me use it. He got defensive about it one time when I used his phone to take a photo of him. Cos I left mine in my car. I’m just overthinking probably but you have a point I won’t do anything else I’ll just let it go.

[Opinion Owner]

I won’t gaslight you and say you’re overthinking, because back when I was 19 I had previous been with a guy for 4 years, he had the same actions of hiding his phone to where I couldn’t touch, use or look at it and eventually I found out he was cheating. But now that I’m older let me tell you — you absolutely need the man who gives you peace of mind. Do I think you should be single right now and heal from past trauma? Absolutely, I spent 2 years single to heal from a seriously hurtful breakup so that I could go into a new relationship being my best self. But even after you take time to do the work, you need a man who doesn’t do things that you feel the need to monitor, second guess or worry about. With the guy I’m with now, I have no worries of what’s going on because he just reassures me on his own. He doesn’t hide his phone or do odd shit like that, but he came to me as this person, get me? Stepping outside of your character for a man should never be ok in your world. Find someone who doesn’t dismantle the work you’ve already done to trust someone.

[Opinion Owner]

And more than anything, you have to be ready enough to be in a relationship that you can give your boyfriend a clean slate without second guessing it. I said to my partner “I’m giving you my trust and you decide what to do with it”, and he hasn’t broken it once. That’s what you, as an overthinking and insecure person at heart needs. Yes do the work to heal but also find the person who doesn’t bring those issues out of you is what I’m saying.

[TrillXHippy]

You felt uncomfortable about that? So he stopped

[jimmy2]

She probably a very hot looking babe

[In_Trance]

Toxic femininity