Why is he being mean to me now?

Question

i’ve been friends with this guy at work for a few months and my friend asked him a few weeks ago if he liked me or not because i’ve had feelings for him and i needed an answer. he said he didn’t but said i was one of his closest friends and that’s why he is the way he is with me. he told her he wouldn’t change with me and didn’t want me to change with him. but it feels so different now. anyways, the first week of us being together i was uncomfortable and felt weird so of course i was different with him - how can i still be the same (flirting, giggling, etc.) when i know he doesn’t feel anything - i was already losing feelings. however, after that i thought we were good again. back to normal - laughing, making jokes and conversation.

he said to me the other day i’ve had an “attitude” since a few weeks ago and i was shocked bc we both knew what he was talking about but didn’t specify. but from my side, he’s being extra sensitive, mean, and distant. like i’ll try to have a convo with him and he automatically gets on the defense with something i said as a joke. i’ve tried telling him he’s being a jerk but he doesn’t seem like he cares aside from he gets really quiet and won’t speak to me much unless i speak to him. it sounds so childish, but i feel like i’m finally seeing the real him. but i just hate it bc i don’t want to lose a friend.

for someone that sees me as a close friend, why would he be treating me so badly? i want to talk to him about it but i don’t want to make things weirder or make him uncomfortable.

MystiKaL · Accepted Answer

He sounds like he is a very confused guy and doesn't know how he feels for you, ie friends or more. Either way, his approach towards you is a bit childish and immature.

The best thing you can do is say you need to chat to him and talk to him on how you are feeling. If he is mature and understanding, he will talk to resolve any obstacles. Otherwise, you need to let him do his own thing and you need to move on.

From what I can see, he had his chance to take it further, he didn't take it, you've now moved on and he doesn't like that. That's his problem, not yours. But do talk to him to salvage a friendship if you can, it will show your maturity.