Ladies, what would you like your guy to do for you when you are having monthly pains?

[mickmrly]

As there are a wide variety of women on this forum, I thought it would be enlightening to know whether there are any specific things or practical things that women would like their guy to do for them when they are going through disruptive monthly occurrences.

I realise that not every woman goes through these times with the same symptoms, and thought perhaps that women who go through the more disruptive symptoms would require some sort of aid from their guy. I was thinking that maybe women would like the guy to cover their chores or get them an ice pack or something. Growing up my sister had trouble digesting food due to stomach pains, and for that she just used to have some ginger beer to help calm things down.

I have posed by question as a what would women like for men to do, so even if they don’t currently have a special guy they can share what they think would best suit their needs in these particular circumstances.

For the guy posters, do you do anything for your lady during these times? Or have you done anything relevant during past relationships?

[MysticAngel5000]

One of the best things ever = simply laying down with me and cuddling up. Let me curl up against you and hold me. Rub my belly for me (usually where I experience cramps if I have them). I love to lay down when I have cramps if at all possible, so if you're home with me and I tell you my stomach is hurting, come lay down with me and cuddle me.

Other things that can help in general - if she has back pain, rub her back for her, get her a heating pad, run her a nice warm bath/shower, etc.

If she likes a special kind of food, get/make it for her (as long as it won't upset her stomach - sometimes certain things can upset your stomach if you're feeling crampy).

Above all else, don't brush her off. Don't make her feel invalidated. VALID her feelings. Don't underestimate how bad she actually hurts. Don't tell her to toughen up and deal with it or that it isn't that bad. You don't know how "bad" it actually is. Cramps can REALLY freaking hurt to the point you want to cry (or you actually DO cry). Some girls absolutely have it worse than others too. The best thing you can do is simply be there for her and comfort her. Make sure she has enough pads/tampons and if she doesn't, go get her more. If she uses Midol or a natural alternative to that (yes, they do make natural cramp tablets!), make sure she has plenty and get her a dose to take.

Make sure you actually ASK HER if she wants/needs anything because every girl is different. Some may genuinely want to be left alone. Don't take offense to that. It isn't anything against you. Just respect her wishes and let her know you're there if she needs anything.

[CA4444]

Just being understanding is really great 😊if you can ignore and forget mood swings it helps a lot cause usually once the storm passes I feel bad for my behavior (I’m just a bit negative sometimes before my periods and not the best company, nothing extreme but still)… so I’d rather be alone actually at this time of the month, and come back when happy 😃

well actually food, and ginger and paracetamol or maybe supplements for PMS may actually help. Also multi vitamin supplements can help (they do in my case anyway)

I’ve heard that exercise can be good but it’s the last thing I want to hear at this time of the month lol so I wouldn’t suggest it…

[BarryLiverstone]

Yes if she has cramps I’ve learned to massage her and take away the pain. Would get her a warm water bottle and also draw her a warm bath. Would mainly interact with her in a sweet and calm way, talk to her and listen knowing she is in pain and try to help her feel better

[Honest-Matt]

one comment, "lots of cuddles". Next comment, "left alone" well I guess I'll go eff myself.

[Kori1236]

I personally don’t have bad periods. Super lucky. They last 3 days, a little bit of bloating and some cramping. I do have a high pain tolerance so maybe my cramps would be worse for someone with a lower tolerance but for me it’s not a huge deal. I do get some lower back pain though. So if I were seeing anyone the only thing I’d really like is a lower back massage. I’ve also discovered that I like chocolate covered strawberries during that time so if he were to come home with that it’s an instant mood changer.

[SkyCastle90]

I mostly ask for hugs, but other than that it's my period, my responsibility. However, I do appreciate it when he notice I'm on my period (I have minor mood swings) and tries to cheer me up.

My advice, just do what you think will cheer her up, or directly ask her what she may like during that time of the month.

[Anonymous]

He should not get physical. He should not push for intense romance during this time as it can lead to intense bleeding to a girl where she loses high amounts of blood. Give her space she want to have. Care for her. Cook food for her. Feed her food. Wash her clothes if you can. Keep her surroundings tidy and fresh. Keep her healthy food. Avoid making her feel tensed due to any reason. Let her take rest when she wants to. Let her have some alone time to refresh. Massage her legs, hand and head. Let her sleep while you do. Treat her like a born baby

[Kaytiee]

Period sex actually isn't dangerous, you can say it's 'gross' or what not, but it is not dangerous at all, the 'losing loads of blood' thing is a myth, but other than that I agree with everything you said.

[musicbrain5]

Sex during periods doesn’t cause any blood loss. Menstrual blood is collected in the uterus over the cycle, and then the body expels it during the last week if no egg is fertilized.

[JohnK123]

@kaytiee have u done that before

[MysticAngel5000]

What are you talking about? Period sex is PERFECTLY safe. It won't hurt the girl and doesn't make her bleed more. Sex can actually help with cramps for some girls. Just put a towel/blanket down or do it in the shower to ease up on the mess factor.

[JohnK123]

@MysticAngel5000 it would prob be really messy 😭

[MysticAngel5000]

@JohnK123 Really depends on how heavy your flow is and what day of your cycle you're on (you are typically heaviest your first day or two).

[JohnK123]

@MysticAngel5000 oh so heavy is a lot?

[Kaytiee]

I'm in the very lucky few percent of women who do not experience period pains, However I'll say what I like my boyfriend to do when I'm usually in pain, as maybe others may be the same.

He is very warm naturally, so his hand on my stomach helps a lot, I like it if stress can be taken off me when in pain, so I can focus on recovery too, and maybe if he nips out to get some painkillers, thats great too. Cuddling up under blankets, is also great to ease my mental.

[TonightYouu]

This is gonna be a weird question and I’m sorry if you are a virgin but do you get off from penetration alone

[Kaytiee]

@TonightYouu No, being a virgin doesn't impact whether women can orgasm through penetration alone, it's the same.

[TonightYouu]

Well this girl I was having sex with didn’t get period pains either and she came from penetration alone

[TonightYouu]

I’m thinking it may be linked

[Kaytiee]

@TonightYouu 80% of women have faked an orgasm in their life

[Kaytiee]

@TonightYouu But no virginity doesn't = more sensitive or more likely to peak from penetration

[TonightYouu]

Wait , are you a virgin?
Because that wasn’t really the point I just didn’t want to assume you were sexually active

[MysticAngel5000]

@TonightYouu Virginity doesn't make you any more or less sensitive and it doesn't make you more or less likely or orgasm through penetration alone.

[Smashingdoozy]

Encouragement to drink water, eat and move around a bit. It's really easy to fall into the period depression which doesn't help the situation at all.

Tea, hot chocolates, treats, and a heat pack are super helpful too. And obviously some pain relief.

Just being mindful of what you say to us as our hormones are all over the place and we can be quick to snap.

Also don't take any offense to our snappiness. We wish we could stop.

[Anonymous]

Why are men always expected to do something. Leave them alone lol
If a girl acts like she needs smth she is sassy. Or maybe her name is Jesicca or Cassie she has such a disciplined monthly
Period you to 3-5 days jeez such a sharpie


UNLESS she has PCOS like I do that’s different story then. Because pcos feels like I am giving birth and in my situation or girls who are in this situation we do not need affection I need to know I am healthy I will live a longer life lol I need a motivational speech. And also they don’t come every month it’s more like every few months. Such a boss move. Haha



What do women do when men testosterone levels are low? Give them hugs?🙄

That’s how this qs sounds like lol

[AnonyWoman4309]

Being understanding and not being grossed out. Tight hugs and tight cuddles. Just those things help so much emotionally.

[mickmrly]

Wouldn’t tight hugs cause discomfort? Or maybe I am overthinking how blood pressure works during these times.

[AnonyWoman4309]

For me it doesn’t. Not like super super tight hugs. Just hugs a bit tighter than usual. It gives us a different feeling to focus on

[Pinay_ako]

Just act normal 😂. It’s just a period, I don’t have cooties. Just feed me 😂 and I’ll be a happy happy woman 🥰

[Still-alive]

but what if I have cooties? :o

[Pinay_ako]

@Still-alive stay tf away from me until you are cootie free 🤣 🥰

[Still-alive]

Sorry that was a typo i meant 'what if i have cookies?' hehe :P

[Pinay_ako]

@Still-alive 🤣 nah nah gimme those cookies 🍪 😝

[18Uma21]

I'd want him to be more horny towards me. I can get rid of the pain with a painkiller. But I cannot get rid of my hunger for romance those times

[mickmrly]

An interesting perspective. I guess if the pain is relieved there can be room for focusing on nicer things.

[Chelsdope0]

I get like that during my ovulation period … it’s more intense.

[JohnK123]

@Chelsdope0 what’s the difference between that and a regular one?

[Chelsdope0]

@JohnK123 ovulation is something that happens before your real period. You are and feel extremely fertile during that time period. Women also have a sticky clear discharge like clear snot come out during that time. It all just means we are releasing an egg

[JohnK123]

@Chelsdope0 oh… I thought the egg was released during the period? No? Huh wow that must be weird with the clear stuff 😂. So does this start at like 18 or like every girl goes through ovulation before?

[MysticAngel5000]

@JohnK123 You really don't know that ovulation is different than your period? Lol silly boys 😋

When she said "ovulation period", she meant the time when she ovulates. Ovulation occurs AFTER your period. There is no bleeding involved and you shouldn't have any pain. It is the time you're most likely to become pregnant. When you ovulate, you release a mature egg from your ovaries. It travels down the fallopian tubes and stays there for a day or two in anticipation of being fertilized. The actual event of ovulation only takes 12-24 hours, but a female is typically the most fertile and most at risk of becoming pregnant for the whole week. Ovulation typically occurs about a week or two before your next period. You begin ovulating after you've started your first period. Ovulation works with menstruation. Your first day of your menstrual cycle (aka your period) is whenever you get your period (see bleeding). That typically lasts 3-7 days. Then, you will go through your ovulation cycle/phase a week or two after that.

With discharge, all women get this. The vagina is a self-cleaning organ. It is normal to get some form of discharge daily. The "ok kind" is clear or white and does not have any foul odor and does not have any other accompanying symptoms. If you notice any burning, itching or a bad odor, you need to see a doctor/gynecologist because you likely have an STD/STI or an infection. You can get a vaginal infection even if you're not sexually active. During ovulation, yes, you may notice discharge that is more of a "sticky" or "stringy" consistency (kind of like clear glue).

[JohnK123]

@MysticAngel5000 damn that’s a lot 😭 that last part reminds me of- HAHAHAHA
Damn so they go hand in hand? So like when one ends at whatever age the other ends too?

[MysticAngel5000]

@JohnK123 Pretty much. After you're old enough, you enter into a new stage called menopause. This is where you stop having a monthly period and will eventually be "too old" to get pregnant anymore. Menopause usually starts in your 40s or 50s.

[JohnK123]

@MysticAngel5000 oh damn. That must suck to like not be able to have kids anymore 😔 or I don't know haha maybe relieved? Can I pm u lol

[MysticAngel5000]

@JohnK123 Hun, when that happens, you are getting old. You don't have any time to be chasing after little ones anymore! Plus, pregnancy gets risky after about 40-45. It becomes risky for the mom and the baby. You run the risk of a lot more complications during the pregnancy and birth and your risk of a miscarriage increases.

And, there's a good chance you may be a grandma by that age range if you had children! Then you get to still enjoy children. Bonus - you get to give them back after haha

[JohnK123]

@MysticAngel5000 HAHAHA GIVE THEM BACK LOL IM DYING

[EmmaMary]

My husband knows, realises and understands to continue life as completely normal.

[lilyanony1]

Honestly help me around the house a little, take doggy for a walk, run me a bath and or rub my back or stomach.
Whats surprising is the very few people that offer foot runs but trust me when you're feeling ill it really helps.

[Chelsdope0]

Omg 🥺 I wish I had a guy.

I just want him to hold me and massage my belly. I would just like extra affection and love.

[Unit1]

I would deliver that but I have yet to get a girlfriend. I'm a huge fan of massages.

[JohnK123]

That’s what I’d do with a girl if I had one lol

[AddylynnNightingale]

Massages and food and I'll be a happy girl. I also would like to just hold you like you were a plush.

[marshmallowcream]

Cuddle in bed and bring me some snacks whilst we watch something together

[wittymilf]

I think I’d rather he has nothing to do with even knowing about it 😂😂

[jennifer_bloom]

If I had a guy and I had period pains I would ask him to buy me hibiscus tea from Starbucks.

[fonduegirl]

A feet massage would be extremely appreciated. I've bad cramps in the feet during periods. Don't worry, I'd wash my feet before I let him touch it.

[Dinklex3]

Just understand that i don't want to move around much.

[dustybiker]

Mine does this amazing thing called asking. 🤓 It’s great and prevents all kinds of conflict.

[Anonymous]

From my experience my period pains happened more often in my teen years. And when they did happen I wanted everyone to leave me alone with pain killers and a heating pad. They do happen nowadays but not as often or as painful.

[Literalbillionaire17]

Just comfort me. Lay in bed with me all day and watch movies with me and get fat with me while we eat all my fav snacks.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Now that's doable.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I like that plan, minus the getting fat part, I like high metabolisms.

[Japangirly]

i want him to be gentle, compassionate and calm. That’s all

[Steamnir]

Food and anti pain medication.

and dont ask for anything or argue about anything

[HoneyButterCup525]

Just make me a really hot cup of tea and and a 1000mg pain killer :)

[JohnK123]

Haha damn

[Aiko_E_Lara]

Cuddle, get a hot compress for her and of course research about way how to improve their cramps. There are lots of exercises we can do as studies show so it is partly their responsibility.

[Midgetmcwidget]

Don’t know maybe eat junk with me. I ate cookie ice cream tonight and venison meatballs.

[ZS007]

I don't have anyone but I wouldn't expect anything

[AssholeNumberOne]

First, respect me like a soldier who's wounded. No unasked-for sympathy. If it is asked for, yes, sympathy.

[musicbrain5]

Ask me first if I need anything, don’t just do stuff.

[Anonymous]

Just to be gentle and anything to show that he cares

[bayoubob]

I have no sympathy for otherwise normal people who think they experience "pain" once in a great while.

[leighbee]

Just say period, you're not a teenager 😂

[mickmrly]

I was trying to make the question sound less like some kind of medical commercial, that’s mainly why I changed the language up a bit.

[leighbee]

It is not a commercial. It isn't even the proper word

[PinkRose24]

To stay the hell away from me... jk I rarely get cramps. Tylenol helps to remove them.

[jimmy2]

Oh I would go get her some meds a warm blanket and ease her pain

[LogicalGal123]

Just feed me and that's it. Lol

[Anonymous]

nothing. we can take care of it ourselves and are used to this.

[AngelBritney]

Just gimme my fav chocolate and some rest and I'm good. Thanks, darling.

[SnowedIn]

My wife wants sex, preferably twice a day.

[Fuentes]

I'm gonna say it, I'm not gonna do anything but offer a midol.

[Jennz6]

Give me a hug…💃

[Jennz6]

@bigjake1019 thank you Jake 💃

[Kelly6]

Cuddle and sex

[Jennz6]

@Kelly6 I have had sex too on that time of the month

[Dnice1]

Just lots of cuddles

[annabananna]

Let me lay down in bed

[Anonymous]

Leave for a week.. ideally find another woman for that week.

[Paige90]

Monthly pain? LOL! Do you mean period?

[mickmrly]

Sure do.

[Anonymous]

I like to be left alone

[iykyk2020]

Get me a heating pack 🥹

[JohnK123]

Heating pads help with so many things lol

[Amandapigen]

Just buy me chocolate and leave me alone

[4eyes2mouths]

Have patience

[rienna888]

Definitely left alone

[Stoner710]

I try to get her chocolate ice cream

[Mediterraneansoul]

Lmao this is the kind of nonsense that make women question men's manhood

[Kaytiee]

I question a mans manhood more if he doesn't want to look after their partner.

[Mediterraneansoul]

Your period, your tampon, your business. Have you not been fighting us for independence? Here take it 😅

[mickmrly]

And what is manly about not helping your girlfriend/wife exactly?

[Mediterraneansoul]

Being manly isn't taught it's a nature which deem not to be your as your question indicates.

[MrJMM]

Do anything she asks, be patient, and be kind.

[LavLavLuv]

Cuddle 🐰

[Anonymous]

Massages

[Gloree]

Avoid me

[Gloree]

Avoid me most of the time. But give me chocolates and icecream. I crave it so much. But my guy won't give me those during such times.

He insists it's not good for the health at such times. But sometimes if I press, he gets it.

Other than making sweet things available, I prefer being left alone

[boobliker]

keep away

[888theGreat]

Die slowly