How does he feel about me?

[Anonymous]

I'll try be brief. Been sleeping with a guy 10 months. Known him a while, he would help me out, bring me gifts. We started sleeping together, he still helps and brings gifts. Recently he drove 3 hours to sit with me all night until a mechanic turned up to fix my car (not something he could have fixed). But we've never had 'the talk', I don't know if he's seeing other people. I'm afraid to ask, but can't decode the 'man' way of showing he cares. He also helped me move (long story) at 0200. Would he do that if he was only interested in sex? Male opinions welcome. I know I'm overthinking it and annoying myself.

[PrettyPriya]

Based on the details you provide, I would say there is more than a friends with benefits thing going on here. Moving is a pain in the you know what. I have seen friends try to get out of helping people move. It sucks.

The fact that he is doing all these things for you (outside sexual relations) tells me he likes you more than just a sexual partner. Exclude the gifts from the equation. That can be seen more than one way.

With a friends with benefits situation, gifts act almost like payment in my mind. Kind of cheapens it more than it already is. I think this guy has deeper feelings than just the intimate part.

He seems to go out of his way to be helpful and do more what I would consider boyfriend type stuff. I think you need to sit down and have that talk. That is the only way to know for sure. Even if he is seeing other people, he might stop if he knows that you like him enough to ask him about that.

[SueShe]

I would say that based on your input, he may have feelings for you but is perhaps too shy to reveal them by fear of rejection.

Since you are already intimate, he would certainly not drive 3 hours in the hope to get intimate since he can be intimate without having to take this burden upon himself.

The moving part at odd hours of the night is also and indicator that he cares for you because not many people would go through the hassle to do something like that just for sex afterwards.

But without asking him, you will not know for sure since you are not a specialist at deciphering his behavior. All you risk is for him to say that he sees you solely as a friend with a number of benefits but then you are certain and you can take the appropriate action. Good luck.

[xColinx]

Ten months is definitely more than a casual fling. I think his actions show he genuinely cares about you, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's interested in an exclusive, committed relationship. Do you know anything about his relationship history? Maybe he's been burned in the past and it makes him more hesitant to "over commit" now. Or who knows what other factors could be influencing his mindset.

What type of gifts does he typically give you?

[Asker]

Chocolates, whiskey, practical things to fix things in my house (but he usually does it 😁), sweets. When I was sick he brought me medicine and food

[Guy13]

Friends with benefits... are usually body counters therefore no commitment.

[Asker]

I'm not sure what you're trying to say? Are you saying that's what he's doing or not?

[Guy13]

He can not form LTR if he has been hopping around from sex partner to sex partner. He gets bored and then moves on to the next one

[Guy13]

Make sense?

[Asker]

He's not been hopping from one to the other though, I never said that he had, so I'm not sure where you're coming from

[Guy13]

You suspect him seeing other people then you know something isn't right. That is friends with benefits... It doesn't matter really.. nic-pick it to death. I see now.

[Brando10222]

Ask him directly if he has feelings for you more than just sex