How does he feel about me?

Question

We’ve been on and off for almost a year and a half now. He lives outside of the city during the year so I don’t get to see him much. We have a lot of history together. We stopped talking for about 5 months during the year and the summer came around and we ran into each other at the club and kinda started talking again. He asked me if I wanted to chill a couple times but never really pulled through. I’d ask him to chill and he’d answer things like up to u. Like what? Finally I texted him and I was like listen if u don’t want to chill I don’t really care but just tell me you know. I’m not tying to have a pen pal. And he answered word for word “ I want to hang but I just want to hurt you u know” I genuinely didn’t understand what this meant I don’t understand what he wants from me and why he plays so many games. I answered that it was one of the weirdest things I’ve ever heard 🤣 he got defensive immediately lol and we kinda like fake fought and he rnred me. And we haven’t spoken since it’s been like a day. What do u guys think he wants from me and what do u think I should do?

Oliverlogan263 · Accepted Answer

Giiiirl, this guy is messy and I would not mess with him anymore if I were you. A few thoughts:

- The hot and cold routine after all this time shows he's not serious about you.

- Saying he wants to "hurt you" is a major red flag and manipulation tactic. Drop any dude who admits that.

- Getting defensive and starting fake fights when called out on his games proves he just wants to play with your emotions.

- You deserve so much better than a pen pal you never see! Don't waste more time on this nonsense.

If I were you, I wouldn't text him again. He's shown you where you stand, which is nowhere good. Go find a guy who's excited to chill with you and treat you with respect, sis! You can do so much better. This one ain't worth the headaches.

kylee2437 · Accepted Answer

You know the answer to this, you just don’t want to come to terms with the answer. A man that truly wants to hang out with you will not have a non chalant attitude towards it. and the fact that he’s leaving it up to you on whether you two hang out goes to show that he doesn’t truly care about this situation as much as you do. And a man keeping you in this loop for over and a year and a half is very telling that he isn’t interested in pursuing you beyond what the current situation is.

SweetJoyGirl · Accepted Answer

“ He asked me if I wanted to chill a couple times but never really pulled through. I’d ask him to chill and he’d answer things like up to u.”

Sex.

“ I want to hang but I just want to hurt you u know”

Sex.

You are welcome.

Anonymous · Answer

Wow wow wow, it’s so disappointing to see you here again after we last spoke about this situation. The whole night club kiss thing had just happened and you were pretty adamant about feeling silly for letting him use you and being done. You already know this isn’t going anywhere so why are you doing this to yourself? It’s incredibly sad man. You seemed to have more self respect than that.