I’ve been talking to a guy for awhile who’s pretty chill. At first I told him about my anxiety and how I plan a lot of things early (hanging out) cause I hate unexpected things (canceling or last minute changes)
So he asked if I like being in control of stuff and I said yeah but not all the time, it’s mainly just an anxiety thing.
I like a 60/40 split where she is in charge most of the time. I want to make my girl happy and therefore would probably yield to her most of the time, but if I put my foot down on something and refuse to budge then she would need to understand that, if it is something that matters enough for me to be insistent, then she needs to really consider what she is doing/how she is doing it.
My line of work means I would not have a lot of time at home so I need a woman who is strong and independent to hold down the things I am unable to do yet she needs to be even-tempered enough to be able to compromise.
Just depends on how controlling she is and if she doesn't have the mindset that it’s her way or no way all the time , so it can be a good thing or bad thing depending if she understands it can’t always be her way and that it’s ok if she is wrong sometimes , I dated a controlling girl that was sexy in the beginning but then it turned into a nightmare because she never took my feelings into consideration , it was her way or no way and it left me feeling like I could just be anybody , she never saw the wrong in herself , so I ended up dumping her for a girl that had a heart
Yeah some do. My man is very introverted and get anxious about certain things so he’ll request my leadership and managing the relationship sometimes. I’m happy to do it but like you said, not all the time, because if it goes to the extreme you’ll end up mothering him and you don’t want your spouse to be lounging around doing nothing like he’s your dependent.
@MzAsh That's very beta male behavior. The only type of man that is going to look to his woman for leadership is the type of man that can't attract other women. For relationships to work men to learn to be in control because there are simply too many obstacles that a woman is going to be unable to help you with.
only one person here is in a relationship of at least a decade so that’s the person i’m going to listen to because listening to the other person who has no idea what a successful relationship is since they’re not in one, is idiotic. love to hear it MzAsh.
@sassy_receptor Well thats completely false but ok. I dont even kmow who you are much less recall telling you to take advice from me.
@Vegasrunner it does work for him too, otherwise he wouldn't be so on board with it, nor would he have actually proposed a few ways in which he'd like me to lead the relationship. You can call it "beta male behavior" or call it whatever you want, but I'm not bothered by this dynamic. As long as he's providing value in the ways that are important to me, then I don't mind leading in certain areas. Believe it or not, many men find it relieving when women lean forward and take some things off a man's plate. Many men in this thread admit this, if you'll read several of the comments from other men here. It's time other men quit lying to themselves and each other that men are supposed to lead, or even like leading 100% of the time, because it's clearly evident that narrative is unrealistic.
@MzAsh The fact that you're speaking for him kinda proves my point. Based on what you've told me he has no choice but to "be on board" because he doesn't have any other options. The fact that you're not bothered by the dynamic is completely irrelevant because I'm speaking from the man's POV and all successful men would consider him a loser which is what you said you could attract after being rejected by HV men. I agree many men on GAG probably do find it a relief when a woman takes things off their plate but as I've been reminded several times that's why most of the men on GAG are also losers. Ironic how those same men are only seen as valuable when it's convenient for a women to make a point. The evidence clearly shows the exact opposite as the overwhelming majority of successful men in the world typically lead their households which is why so many millionaires, celebrities, CEO's select woman w/out aby consideration of their ability to lead
@Vegasrunner stop writing stupid stuff without having any clue about how society works. Successful men in their respective fields love women taking charge of their households. They do lead but in their respective fields and don't get wanna be involved in petty matters of family. One reason they hardly marry very career oriented women like themselves otherwise they wouldn't have time for family. A lot of powerful men actually love being submissive inside four walls, for paid dominatrix services most customers are highly established men. Mostly men with menial jobs or business love taking charge of every stupid family matter as they have too much free time on their hands.
Vegas, you come from the experience of a guy who prioritizes banging girls, as you’ve put it yourself. I’m talking about adult, healthy relationships consisting of grown men and men. You don’t have any experience in that. We’re in two completely different arenas, as I’ve explained to you before. The criteria that women and men both look for in this arena are completely different.
@Manab The fact that you intentionally changed the dynamics of the conversation proves that even you dont believe that bs. She literally says her man request her leadership and management, which is completely different than taking charge of a household. Im an actially successful man along w/ most of my circle and we all have women that handle the household duties because we all have women that would dp anything to be around us. You're confusing sex w/ relationships and have been watching to much internet porn. I've been w/ plenty of dominatrix however I would never enter into a commited relationship with one, thats bringing that same personality into my day to day life. Also paying for sex isn't really a trait if a HV man, as part of the benifit of being HV is that women will are naturally attracted to you. Im not suprised you dont know this as you are displaying beta / female traits
@Vegasrunner those are not services for sex but the whole act. Start reading, from actual articles , from research , real experiences from people , search for related articles on Google. A lot of high value men actually prefer paying for sex. Rich men pay for the most high paying escort services. They don't wanna be bothered with relationship drama. A lot of rich and career oriented women too pay for male sex workers as they don't want relationships where they would be seen as a caregiver.
@MzAsh I don't think we have ever disagreed on that at all. The difference is all men would like to be able to operate in my lifestyle while very few women want what you're offering. You yourself stated that your belief comes from failed experiences trying to attract HV men. So yes we are in two different arenas I'm at the top while you have to deal w/ mostly rejects and women not capable of attracting the kind of men they want. Thats literally why you preach for women to settle so I'm not even sure what you're attempting to argue. Yes Men look for quantity, women look for quality. My strategy provides that insight to men your strategy does not provide that to women. The only men looking for 1 women are the men that can't get anyone. Tom Brady literally just traded in a former super model for a younger super model so all evidence supports this belief. Meanwhile you can't even share your husbands name for a basic google search proving that he's just an average guy and most likely someone that can't attract other women to begin with. You've been w/ this one guy for 15 years so you don't really understand how the dating market has changed, and probably aren't the best person to be speaking on what men want because as you have said you're only looking at relationships from one side, which is a flaw that most women have.
No, not all men want to “bang” empty holes in order to fill the void of anything remotely looking like true intimacy or a healthy relationship and pretend to have whatever else you so desperately keep trying to convince me you have going on in your life besides cheap sex. Men men are actually grown and want a partner. I know you can’t wrap your head around there but there’s plenty of scientific evidence to support it.
You’re the one who can’t get enough arguing with me. Look at who replied to who here.
@Manab I see why you're confused now. You're conflating rich w/ being hv. Simply being rich does not make a man hv it is sinply a trait that HV men usually have. Do you know what the #1 criteria is for being a hv man? You're asking for exprience from real people? My circle consistainly of current and pro athletes and while some have paid prostitutes for sex the overall number is a small minority. You're more referring to the old white CEO who never was able to get women on his own has some money and pays to get attention from a bady. Those are completely different things. in my opinion the most ironic thing w/ this site is you're telling me to ignore my own personal experiences tp believe things you need to research, you dont have any personal experience being HV therefore would not be the best person to weigh in on this subject in my opinion.
@MzAsh Your characterization highlights your insecurities. Anytime your told what men want u add in your emotions to the statement. You're seeking "true intimacy" therefore you struggle to accept that men think differently. A lot of women are like that. When you find out they do you become more immature being forced to use lame personal attacks (#3) vs coherent articulate statements. I don't believe it's an argument and I've made no secret about how much I've enjoyed your content which is why I reply, so again these are more emotional responses based on feelings not facts. Which is why it's a bad idea to take relationship advice from women because most aren't able to open their mind to different POV's as you have proved.
@MzAsh Again I think being in your feelings is blinding you from the reality. I agree w/ your opinion that women would be better off settling for a lessor man as you did. I've told you this countless times so notvsure why you believe there is an argument. You're just struggling w/ the chracteration of those women. U realize that the man you can keep says a lot about the quality of women so you're having a difficult time accepting that these women are low level because they can only get lv men to committ. Thats why you have to spend so much time trying to convince me that all that matters is that woman's chracterization of the man. Which is false. (Hv men must have value to other hv men to be considered hv). I have no issue w/ discussing gender roles and relationships because I'm probably one of the leading male experts on the subject because of my background, and GAG is an excellent source of data. Sounds like the frustration is yours. I use all of your statements to highlight female hypocrisy and behavior to men, and encourage you to continue to respond. If not gl to you.
Some men might think differently, but many men aren’t interested in purely sexual encounters with women, and I’m more interested in those men because those are the men who offer more value overall.
My husband still gets attention from other women but he entertains none of it because he only wants me. He knows he’s not going to find any other woman that will know how to bring peace but also still manage to keep him at his best and out if complacency. He knows I enjoy contributing financially and letting him relax into more of the home support role he prefers to do while I take in more of a breadwinner role that I prefer to do. He knows the awareness I have about myself, about him, about people, about the way healthy relationships work is far above that of most women. He also knows the value I offer is far above what most women even think to offer as well.
Some might attack his character by calling him a beta or a simp but he’s more of a man than most. I don’t see anyone coming at me able to prove their own relationships are better. It’s usually the perpetually single who pick at the way we do things.
@MzAsh Lol, Stop. If that was remotely true you wouldn't have tried to start a business telling women who they should date. U have to say that about your husband because what women is going to admit she settled for a man no one wants? Studies show that women find 90% of men unattractive so it's pretty unlikely that a beta male married to a misandrist that has admitted 2 not being able to keep a HV man is going to be desired by other women. You're literally w/ him because you couldnt keep the type of man that other women want. I can't attack his character because I dont know him but technically he's less of a man then the average man because he's depended on you, thats more of a child mother relationship than a husband wife, and it's unlikely he could hold his own around average men let alone Alpha males. In the end all that matters is you found someone for u, however trying to convince me that he has value simply because you choose him proves what I've been telling you which is women don't understand relationships.
@MzAsh My side chick gave me a great formula recently and it kinda explains women's actions. She says Women are needy, because they are needy they are insecure because they are insecure men don't tell them the truth because they can't handle the fact that men think differently. Your relationship is a great example. Your neediness triggers your insecurities which center around men having other options so you're forced to settle for an w/ less options. That man is never going to tell you how bay shit crazy your beliefs are because he knows you can't handle it and would leave him if he didn't behave and since he's not able to get other women he's content w/ just telling you what you want to hear.
Yes, to a certain extent.. They like being dominated, knowing that WE know what we like, and exactly how we like it.. But, on the other hand, they like to give us it, just as hard.. make them feel like we are there's, too!! 😍
there's a fine line between being a rough girl and spanking his butt
@Randomneighbour Elaborate
You can be rough but dont be dominant
Yes i would bro. You aren't hitting me or insulting me
O you meant i wouldn't compalin id just hit you back
Opinion
63Opinion
yes many men on here love it lol
Yeah, sometimes. It can be extremely sexy
It honestly depends on the guy/girl and the situation. You can't make a blanket statement. I will say that in general, most guys like to be leader in the relationship, and in general, most women want this as well. However, there are some very submissive men who want a dominant woman. I wouldn't worry about asking what do men/women want. Ask yourself what is it that you want/need and be BRUTALLY honest when answering that question. Then ask yourself is the person I'm with the person I need/want. You'll find the answer, even if it's not the answer you want to hear.
I don't mind following her lead at times if there is something she wants to do. I like a woman who knows her own mind and follows her bliss.
Of course, I like it when she follows my lead at times, too.
It's similar with sex. Most of the time, the guy is in control. I like savoring her and giving her the thrill of being used hard. But I also love letting her ride me, use me, and let out her freaky side. I also love it when she takes control during foreplay.
depends on the guy. For me? I like it when a girl is straightforward. Makes it a lot easier for me to navigate feelings and emotions. It's also very mature to be straightforward. Outside of that? I prefer femininity that influences me rather than leads and controls me.
Some guys do sometimes! And I think it's because almost never see girls actually be in control of anything. It's such a rare sight. I know dozens of girls, and I don't remember ever seeing a single one of them in control of anything. It's not that they are bad people, but most of them rely HEAVILY on others to keep things on track for them. Sure, some of them had their careers and school under control, but I never actually ever witnessed them in control of anything.
Yes. As someone who has anxiety also. I like structured things. But also I find peace when someone else is in control because no stress to me as I can’t change anything. I rather someone else plan things especially if dating because I would do just about anything they want as long as they happy and get to spend time with them.
Well here's my opinion on this , I would really like to have a woman that has a Boss attitude - you know one that doesn't crap from others or one that doesn't tolerate disrespect of someone. Like I would love for my wife to have a Boss attitude but also I'd know she would be the kind of person that loves to socialize with other human beings. It's like a tetter totter person - one who is both nice but doesn't tolerate a person who ill toward others.
Is there some men out there who dont like it when women stand up to them?
Well , I'm sure there is but I'm not one of them
If a girl you knew for a few weeks that you got along with, came up to you to have a go at you about something you didn't even do, how would u react?
Well , the way I see either she really wants a confrontation with me or we can settle this mature like. But if we can't find a middle ground in this - Then we should both go & find other people we can relate to.
I dont want to ask u this as its personal but the guy in q i think was cheated on or left him for someone else, would it make a difference to how u reacted?
Well Monalisa77 🦍 , the way I would have reacted to the situation is different but if it was me that was cheated on . First I would not get Revenge on the person - it would be pointless & second I'd realize I wasn't the one for her , I never had this experience but once I'd break up with her - I'd move on with my life.
The origanl q was one done by a different girl. I've never seen a guy react the way he did to that situation before
Hey Monalisa77 , can we talk about something else if you don't mind.
Am trying to figure out if this guy liked me or not no worries if u don't wanna reply lol
It's okay , but I'll can say is pray 🙏💖 about it - ask the Lord to give you wisdom to know what to do in this situation.
That’s lovely you’re perfectly fine. You sound absolutely normal.
No one on the planet is ready to face last min change of plans.
And If everything goes as we want its not life. So though we don’t have control over everything, we try to be control and take control of what we can at least. That’s perfectly fine.
A little from column A, little from column B. Sometimes it's nice not to have to be the one arranging shit, with my ADHD most of my "plans" fall apart anyways, so if she wants to be more proactive in taking control of things I won't stop her.
Personally I think that a guy should take the lead in relationships and I become submissive because I’m the boss at work. So that means, I tend to like it when a guy in the relationship is in control. Especially in bed, I think it’s a huuuuge turn on,
Depends when and what. I don't want her to control my life that would change me or who I am but if she wants control me in bed I be more happy to let her. Also as long it's just sometimes but if you would do it all the time I might have to tell you to slow your role.
It’s great to be able to relax at times and allow your partner to handle things. I especially appreciate this in certain situations because I handle so many highly important stressful decisions in my daily life that it’s great to be able to relax and let go.
control over him? Not manly men. Never. Not even in the slightest. You'll find plenty of effeminate males that wouldn't mind. But in terms of the heavy hitters in this world. No. Never.
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
Have you ever heard of
✨Submissive men?✨
Because yes. Absolutely. There’s a reason why dommy mommies are such a popular idea for men to latch onto.
If there are certain things that need to be in your control which make you feel safer. thats definitely important to communicate
I have to be in control of EVERYTHING when at work. because im responsible for a lot. When i get home, i just want to let go. So in a way i prefer my wife to be in control over a lot of our personal life.
If I trust her, then I love it. If I don't trust her enough, I will not be comfortable to let her be in control and "relax".
No. A woman should provide ideas to her man as to what she likes and wants to do. That's it! A woman in control or being a leading is a guaranteed disaster.
I don't mind, let switch off like for a week we should do what I want to do and for another it's going to be all about she interested in you know let take turns in being in control.
There are some men who do, and even fewer men who are willing to admit it.
It very much depends on the guy... I'm the ultimate Alpha Female... and my guy doesn't seem to mind.
Can I ask you a question
Would you dump a great man just because he has a average penis size?
I’m 6.5 inches long and 4.7 inches around. Is that small to you?
I wish more girls were like that. Nowadays most women want to get pounded by a huge dick
When she acts shy and timid for a time and suddenly takes control. Even a little bit. Its mindblowing.
Are you talking in general terms or sexually?
In my 77 years, I've only had one lady who was comfortable taking the lead and controlling what happened... I must say, I loved it! ;)
In an everyday stance, most wouldn't really like it. Now in the bedroom... that's another story.
These two
In general I don’t really like or dislike it. It’s just a meh whatever kind of thing.
Sounds like he would be flexible and most guys are.
It can be hot to a lot if us Guys, But we don't want it everytime we are intimate with someone.
I would say yes I do, depending for what though. I do understand your anxiety and having plans in advance. I like to have things set up in advance
Of course not. Speaking as a chill guy if it makes the girl we like happy then we don't mind at all.
It can be a nice break to not have to be the one planning every date. It also gives us insight into what you really want to do together instead of just guessing.
personally i don't think that's a good sign.
What is your zodiac sign? Sound like a Taurus!
Normally i like being in control but yeah when a girl takes control it's really cool 😎
If he's like a simp mousy little boy probably. Otherwise he won't like it.
Someone has to fly the plane or steer the boat when I'm sleeping, so yeah.
Only when she's riding me cowgirl. Then she can be in control.
Women are always in control. They just let guys believe they are. 🤣
i like dominant girls and like them to be in control all the time, not some of the time.
their called submissive men. They like dominant powerful women.
Sometimes it’s ok but I don’t see to many men that like to be controlled repeatedly
Yes, i do love that but i never met a girl like that
In the bedroom, sure.
Sure…sometimes.
That's a big major turn on for many men
Submissive guys do
Depends in what way.
What did you mean in control?
Depends what way. Sexually yes lol
It's nice to share the dominant position
Yes. It helps spice things up
Of course sometimes. Not all the time.
I personally like occasionally.
Hot, get yourself a whip.
What exactly needs to be in control?
Nooooooooooooo! I like my women submissive
Am into it can be fun with the right person
No, not at all. Leaving the controlling to us.
I prefer it when a girl is out of control
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