I want to makeup with a guy who ghosted me but I’m too prideful. Should I leave it alone or try one more time?

Anonymous

When my ex boyfriend ghosted me years ago my heart broke. I created a strict “no second chances” rule which I abided by ever since then. Because I was ashamed of all the chances I gave that man, who I loved, only for him to drop me without a goodbye. Ever since then I had been ghosted by other people for various reasons. Earlier this year I was engaging with this guy online who ghosted me. Online relationships are not real to me. I never conderisered us to be “together” but despite never having met this guy I genuinely felt a strong emotion for the first time in years since my ex. It came from him telling me a piece of advice that felt so valuable and caring that it almost changed my outlook on life. He was older and had a lot of wisdom it seemed. But he ghosted me. I know he did for a reason that wasn’t completely wrong. I wasn’t making time to actually meet-but I was genuinely busy. But I was shooting down a lot of invitations and he was clearly discouraged. I acknowledged that I had bad anxiety and that I was also afraid of meeting him because I worried he wouldn’t like me. Eventually he reached out to try to reconnect and I shot him down. I told him I wasn’t interested and to leave me alone. He was persistent that we should talk it out and we ended up having somewhat of an argument over text. It wasn’t much, because before he had a chance to really disrespect me I blocked him. For months I kept him blocked. But I missed talking to him. And I wished that I had been able to make time. I had a good feeling about him and I just completely shut down the possibility that I didn’t fully blame him because I slightly understood his point of view on why he ghosted. But what I didn’t condone was that fact that he GHOSTED instead of being direct about his feelings. Initially when he reached out I pointed out that he was wrong and he apologized. But he made excuses so I didn’t to accept the apology. I wonder if time passed may have given him time to see my perspective

I want to makeup with a guy who ghosted me but I’m too prideful. Should I leave it alone or try one more time?
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