When my ex boyfriend ghosted me years ago my heart broke. I created a strict “no second chances” rule which I abided by ever since then. Because I was ashamed of all the chances I gave that man, who I loved, only for him to drop me without a goodbye. Ever since then I had been ghosted by other people for various reasons. Earlier this year I was engaging with this guy online who ghosted me. Online relationships are not real to me. I never conderisered us to be “together” but despite never having met this guy I genuinely felt a strong emotion for the first time in years since my ex. It came from him telling me a piece of advice that felt so valuable and caring that it almost changed my outlook on life. He was older and had a lot of wisdom it seemed. But he ghosted me. I know he did for a reason that wasn’t completely wrong. I wasn’t making time to actually meet-but I was genuinely busy. But I was shooting down a lot of invitations and he was clearly discouraged. I acknowledged that I had bad anxiety and that I was also afraid of meeting him because I worried he wouldn’t like me. Eventually he reached out to try to reconnect and I shot him down. I told him I wasn’t interested and to leave me alone. He was persistent that we should talk it out and we ended up having somewhat of an argument over text. It wasn’t much, because before he had a chance to really disrespect me I blocked him. For months I kept him blocked. But I missed talking to him. And I wished that I had been able to make time. I had a good feeling about him and I just completely shut down the possibility that I didn’t fully blame him because I slightly understood his point of view on why he ghosted. But what I didn’t condone was that fact that he GHOSTED instead of being direct about his feelings. Initially when he reached out I pointed out that he was wrong and he apologized. But he made excuses so I didn’t to accept the apology. I wonder if time passed may have given him time to see my perspective
A part of me wants to say go for it, just because I know there’s some experiences we just have to go through and we won’t have peace of mind until we do. But more than anything I would advise leaving that situation alone and taking some time to work on yourself rather than pursue him or any man in general right now. Your ex did some real damage, and since then I don't know how much you’ve really healed, and your mental state is made no better when you’re going through the disappointment of being ghosted over and over again. Maybe there was some potential with that guy, but looking at everything that took place I just don’t think you were emotionally ready. You’re still struggling with some trauma and he isn’t equipped to deal with the emotions of it. You two never really gained any traction and it was a lot being thrown at him at once, even before a first date. I understand you have regrets, and maybe you two can try again in the future. But consider a therapist for now, heal, then try dating again when you’re really ready.
Most Helpful Opinions
If a guy has the balls to ghost you the first time when you do not know him well then he will ghost you again. It is much harder to do something the first time rather than the second time.
No, you should let him break your heart a second time.
:::::facepalm:::::
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