So I think I may have gotten played by a narcissist? What could I have done to make him lose interest?

Question

I met this guy that came into my work quite often. He was hot and asked for my number and when I gave it to him, he immediately started with all kinds of compliments and saying that he really likes me and would come into my work just to see me or get a chance to talk to me. So I've dealt with guys like this and I immediately recognized the "love bombing" but I wanted to have fun so he starts asking me to hang out and so I go over to his house and we watched movies and had some drinks and stuff. Even tho I knew this was love bombing, he made me feel actually beautiful and he was much older than me so he just turned me on, not gonna lie. He told me he has been divorced 2 times and stuff. That was another red flag. Well, we hung out for about a week and he was super sweet the whole time. Texting me constantly and honestly we had quite a bit of sex too in just one week. The last time we hung out, I stayed the night and left the next day. We had sex and just cuddled the whole night afterwards. He seeemd really happy and satisfied. That night after I left, he started acting weird and saying that he was sad and hated his life, etc. I comforted him and he said he appreciated me but not to fall in love with him. I asked if I should leave him alone and he said no and that he'll be okay. I haven't hung out with him since the night I stayed with him and he has stopped texting me first. I'm not sad or anything because it was so obvious that he is a narcissist, but I can't help but feel like I did something wrong when I stayed the night with him? Because it was going so well before that and after I left, it was like a light switch got flicked. This guy has been married before, twice. One marriage was 12 years and the next one was 3 years. I didn't think we'd get married or anything crazy but how did he already lose interest in me when he's capable of literally settling down? What could I have done wrong here?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

" Even tho I knew this was love bombing, he made me feel actually beautiful and he was much older than me so he just turned me on, not gonna lie." - In other words, you chose to delude yourself?

" I can't help but feel like I did something wrong when I stayed the night with him?" Yes, you did. You fucked that night and like rabbits for a week !!! The cuddling meant nothing - it was assuage you.

"Because it was going so well before that and after I left, it was like a light switch got flicked." Let's recap - OLDER, horny, twice divorced man with narcissist behaviors, extremely excessive love bombing, excessive sex, red flags flying everywhere. You have no idea what he was during WHILE he was married to these other women. He could have been fucking his brains out with other women. He's clearly got issues when it comes to relationships.

You didn't have to DO anything to him. Narcissists bore easily and quickly, especially if they're not being showered with constant praise and fawning over. He got bored with you, that's all. The only reason you should ever "date" a narcissist is to use him for your own pleasure and get whatever you want or can from him, or the situation.

spartan55 · Accepted Answer

Not sure why you think he is a narcissist, but that's not really important. He sweet talked you, and got what he wanted. Not too complicated.

Sorrento-Sun · Accepted Answer

You don't need to do anything wrong for a narcissit to lose interest. They get bored easily and have lots of narcisstic supply. So they disgurad their supply when they become bored or if they find new supply