Are supposedly “gay” guys actually gay or do they say that to get touchy with girls?

[Anonymous]

I’ve had a guy friend who acts very gay but denies it sometimes or says he is whenever asked. I noticed though that whenever he acts gay he tries getting closer to my female friends and me. He gets very touchy to the point where it gets uncomfortable. Is this how all supposedly “gays” act or is he just pretending to be, so he can be able to gets closer to the girls in my friend group?

[Anonymous]

I’m realizing there’s a newer category of men who lean very much into their feminine side but claim to be straight, bisexual at most but not gay. Through social media I’ve seen a lot of these men. They’ll get their nails done with their girlfriend, either similar polish colors or acrylic nails all together. Look at even celebs like Harry Styles and Timothee Chalamet, they wear women’s accessories or clothing items but say they’re straight.


So I don't know what your friend has going on, maybe he’s still figuring out his identity since he fluctuates between straight and not but in any case, don’t be afraid to set healthy boundaries. Being touchy doesn’t define his sexuality or get a pass if he’s gay, but no matter what it is you don’t have to put up with that or be made uncomfortable. Speak up for yourself and tell him to back off a bit.

[Agape93]

It's usually a lie by guys who want to be in the room when we change.

[Guy13]

No one is actually intelligently designed to me gay or lesbian. Clearly, the parts don’t fit together in form function or purpose.
Who knows but I hate people that I do not know very well touching me all the time who knows but too touchy feelie anyway.

[In_Trance]

Very interesting question.
I think there's a part of every gay guy that wishes he was straight and could have everything a straight relationship has to offer

[Rainbow_Boy]

I've heard some men cunningly behaving that way to get close to girls, since it lets those girls lower their guard that they typically keep towards men.

However, being a gay man myself, I think the number of true gay men with close female friends would be much higher than those deceitful kind of fake gay guys. As far as I'm concerned, I'm quite an effeminate man with several close female friends. I guess my nature is so obvious to them that, in most cases, they initiated our friendship. Those girls actually see me no different than another girl in their circle; because our interests are often very similar, from rather superficial things like fashion and makeup to deeper things like relationships (as we all are attracted to men and exchange advice on our romantic lives and sex with men).

As a result of interacting like two girls rather than one girl and one boy, our friendships include what you call touchy gestures as well. I mean, no more than what two straight girls would do, but no less either... A more extreme example could be that I even had a few female friends changing their clothes in my presence. I have zero sexual attraction towards women, so this has no effect on me, and they know it... I'm guessing that their confidence in me not being a real man, so to speak, does not exist in you or the other girls around you towards that particular guy.

[Anonymous]

I think it is probably 60-40. With the 40 being 95% bi and 5% straight.