What is the appropriate time to give a guy my number if I'm waiting for him to ask me for it?

[Silembr]

He seems interested to me, but whenever it comes to a guy with me, it usually seems to just be things that I build up in my mind that end up meaning nothing. But at the same time, I don't want to assume the wrong thing because his smile makes me feel safe and he laughed with me when I didn't mean for him to. It was nice.

I'm worried about making him too comfortable around me as well and him not being interested anymore if he is. The guys I've been dealt in my life have all been bad, but he seems different. I know every girl says this. I've only ever had like 3 or 4 encounters with him. The kicker here is that he could just be the vet and helping me with my pets and not want anything outside of the pet visits.

What should I do? Should I give him my number or wait? If he never asks would it prove he was never interested or that he was just nervous?

[serious]

First of all hello and welcome to GAG.

Coming to the subject, the information you gave is surely not enough to confirm that he likes you. There are no clear indications here.

He could just be a very easy going and friendly person and he could be like that with everyone so you should not assume outright that he must like you and hence his behavior is this way.

1. What should I do? Should I give him my number or wait? "

In my opinion, you should wait and see for any clear signs or indications. Take 15-20 days time to observe. If you are quite sure that he likes you but is hesitating then you can give him your number.

2. "If he never asks would it prove he was never interested or that he was just nervous?"

If you decide to wait and he never asks then it is possible either he is very shy or nervous and is afraid of rejection or maybe he was never interested in you in any way so he never asked.

This is not something that can be known outright.

[Silembr]

Here's the problem. I only ever saw him four times and it was only during vet appointments. I'm unclear too. There could be something more there or not

[serious]

@Silembr

In that case, you can assume nothing is there and that he is only friendly and easy going so you should refrain from giving your number.

This is a safe side assumption.

[Silembr]

There is no way to observe other than subtly while at my pet's next check-up appointment

[Silembr]

He is the vet

[serious]

@Silembr

I understand and that is why I said you should go for a safe side assumption that there is nothing from his end which clearly displays interest.

[Silembr]

Sorry. The website didn't load your reply so I thought you hadn't answered. Ok...

[serious]

@Silembr

No, need to apologize. This happens not because the website did not work properly. This happens when there many replies at a time, in that case you need to refresh/reload the website then you can see the replies.

[serious]

@Silembr

Anyways you can always message me if you have any more questions.

[serious]

@Silembr

Just noticed you are still at level 1 so you cannot message until you go to level 2.

[Silembr]

Thank you

[SteveSmith1985]

You need to just... take the plunge and give him your number. There really isn't an ideal way to do it. Trying to find some ideal way to do it, simply makes an already nerve-wracking task even MORE stressful (as you try and manoever or find some perfect "opportunity")

The truth is, every single moment you're with him is a perfect opportnity. If there's a mutual attraction there--and I'm sure there is... or you wouldn't even be thinking about doing this--... do you really think that the specific MOMENT you pick is going to matter?

Step back and think about it for a second. If he likes you... he's going to be over-the-moon happy when you give him your number.

Whether you choose to do it on a mountain-top at sunset with a string quartet; or if you do it in some McDonald's parking lot... He will be equally happy whichever you decide.

Most importantly... his answer/reaction is not going to change. No matter when you choose to "take the plunge."

If you want some "real-talk"...

What you're doing, is using the "appropriate time" thing, as an "excuse" to procrastinate on taking the emotional risk of giving someone your number (thus saying "I like you like you"... and facing potential rejection).

Don't get me wrong... doing that is VERY 'normal' insofar as many people do that (I'm sure I have at times too). But that IS what's happening here.

It is LITERALLY impossible for you to choose "the wrong" time. No matter when you decide to do it. You CAN'T screw-up the timing part. The timing part is a non-issue.

I'm afraid it's straight-up "taking the plunge" or whatever metaphor you'd care to substitute. So I guess that's "good news" and also "bad news". You just gotta do it. 🙂

[Silembr]

The main problem is I don't want to come off as too eager, not the timing. I don't know if there's truly mutual interest or just being nice, but giving my phone number would still be helpful. Thank you. What are some things I should avoid doing, in your opinion? Like what do you find that girls do that's too eager?

[SteveSmith1985]

Honestly. DON'T worry about appearing too eager. So many girls do it... and it fucks them over every single time. Nobody (NOBODY) is smart enough to accurately assess "how eager to appear". They always go way too conservative... and screw themselves over... exactly like you're contemplating screwing yourself over right now.

Throw that bullshit out the window. Completely. That is genuinely my advice (and maybe the hundredth time I've given that advice to someone).

Your best bet, (always) is to appear... EXACTLY as eager as you actually are. You should "appear" to like the guy you like... EXACTLY as much as you... actually like him.

Don't try and strategize. Just be honest. Don't worry about seeming over-eager. You aren't.

You are much much better NOT to hide your feelings. All that ever does is leads the other person to think you're way less into them, than you truly are.

That is after all the point. But it's fucking stupid on-its-face. In what universe does it do you any good to make the guy you like... think you don't really like him all that much?

Again, you are by no means the only person who does this. I've just never ever seen it actually work. Not once. Not ever. But I've seen it screw-over soooooooooo many people.

[SteveSmith1985]

I understand what's scary about giving him your number. The fact that you'll be revealing your feelings for him, and moving things forward WILL make you seem "eager". But... that's good. You are eager. As you should be. Hopefully he's eager too.

Either way, seriously, you have enough native-social-skills to not do/say anything wildly inapropriate. Aside from that... any "strategy" aside from just showing your true level of attraction/eagerness is always a mistake.

You won't appear over-eager. He'll either say yes, or he'll say no. Regardless (just like "timing") his answer isn't going to be different because you seemed less eager and put-it-off for two more weeks. You gotta take the plunge. I know it's scary (and unfortunately, there's no way around that).

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh yea...

I've NEVER found a girl to be "over-eager."

I have definitely had awkward/unpleasant experiences of a girl I wasn't interested in... being overtly interested in me. But... that's because I wasn't interested in her. ANYBODY seems "over-eager" if the feelings aren't reciprocated. Regardless of how 'restrained' someone might try to appear... if I'm not interested... ALL of it is "over-eager"

But if I AM interested... it's impossible to be over-eager. I'm eager too! So... that's when things are looking good.

[Koneko911]

Hey you're alive lol

[Peachbae]

There is no particular formula that one does so, just follow your heart

[Adam1978]

If he doesn't ask for your number you shouldn't give it to him. So show interest in him not just ask for help and you should be able to observe how he feels about you.

[RockyHammock]

I've never called a girl thats given me her number. Maybe he's just being friendly because its his job and you're a client. Maybe drop some hints and guage his reaction?

[LazerBean]

When he asks. That's all, it's that simple.

[Iron_Man]

When he asked for it, give it to him

[Silembr]

I am aware 🙂 He has not

[Iron_Man]

Be patient drop hints like certain movies coming out at the movie theater not at home but the movie theater