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So this guy I used to work with he likes me and got her friend to add me but I said no. Then he added me I don’t know how he got my snap and I accepted it eventually and then few weeks later he removed me then I did but why did he remove me?
like he did message me but like I didn’t really reply because when I called him we kinda had an argument because I asked where he was and he kept saying he’s not with his friend and then hung up obvs I called on a private number.
He sounded like off nervous or awkward like someone’s there so and he msgs me saying something about trust issues lol and then removed me after a bit but why?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
I couldn't possibly guess. But you two clearly have some stuff going on you need to talk about. But in this context... nobody from outside is going to be able to explain this to you. His reasons are related to the dynamics of all the shit going on between you two. This sounds like a goddamn mess to be honest. The fact that he added, then removed you is just one minute piece of this whole giant tangled puzzle. As such... it's really not very important by itself. Now his REASONS may indeed be important. But nobody can give any insight into what those reason might be, aside from him.
It sounds like you two have a whole lot to talk about. This may be one tiny piece of it... but that's all it is. You need to talk about the bigger problems you've got (the trust issues etc).
So you think I have trust issues? But the thing is I don’t get why he added me and I don’t even know how he got my snap then we kinda as I said had a argument or disagreement you can call and we didn’t really message well he didn’t so I didn’t or open it and then just removed me… but that means he doesn’t like me? Then why ask his friend to ask for my snap then do all this?
I didn't say he doesn't like you. I honestly have no idea. I truly don't.
But yes, It does certainly seem to me like you've got trust issues. Talking about calling this guy and demanding an account of his whereaboutsfrom a private number... and then talking about how you're suspicious of SOMETING because he was sounding "off" and "nervous."
That would be a great example of a girlfriend with some serious trust issues. Like "I'm gonna dump your ass because of your fucked-up trust issues" kinda serious. It's clearly not ok. Not acceptable behavior from anyone. And... you're not even his girlfriend!
Basically I was confused about everything in here EXCEPT for the fact that you've clearly got some major trust issues.
So you think he did good to remove me? Why couldn’t he just talk about it then if he likes me so much to get his friend to add me then he finding my snap anyway and adding me to now weeks later removing me
I... also didn't say he likes you. Again, I really have no idea. But I did suggest you two need to talk. I still think that's the key. There's clearly a whole lot going on, and it seems all tangled-to-shit. The only way you're ever going to untangle it, is if you BOTH talk about all the stuff that clearly needs talking-about. You can initiate that conversation. You just have to be honest. Not bitchy and angry. But honest and vulnerable. You like this guy. It might be time to talk about that openly. Maybe not yet. I don't know. But either way... you two just need to have an actual honest talk about how each of you is feeling and where each of you are coming from.
But he never says anything about his feelings besides maintain eye contact all the time and all and annoying me but then how can I add him he removed me himself before he added me me he removed me so how can I add him because that will make me look desperate and Idek if he likes me what’s the point
Ahh, see... for this whole "honest talk" thing to work... you have to be willing to show some of your own vulnerability. In other words, you can't worry about stupid shit like "looking desperate." You just... look however you look. If you like someone, it's a mistake to hide that in an effort to not seem desperate or over-eager. Be..."honest" Whatever that means. Don't hide shit. Don't calculate. This is a real-talk you need to have. Masks-off, no bullshit. Your real feelings.
Would you like to know how to get anybody to talk about their feelings? In a situation like this I mean. I can honestly tell you the trick to getting ANY guy to talk about his feelings (to the best of his ability... some dudes are genuinely not able to do this well. Most can though).
The secret is: To talk about YOUR OWN feelings FIRST. Be honest, and vulnerable, and straight-up in telling him how YOU feel. When that guy sees that you're coming to him with genuine sincere honesty. He WILL be sincere and genuine and honest with you back.
That will always work. But you have to be vulnerable FIRST. By "vulnerable" I mean being truly honest about how you feel. Like you would be with your diary. No hiding anything. If you do that first, you'll be met with the same. Sometimes you'll even be surprised at the depth of feelings/thoughts someone has once they start being open and honest back.
But that's how you cut through all this bullshit. ALL of it. You are both left with zero unanswered questions. You both know exactly where the other person is coming from. You know exactly WHY all the things went down the way they did (like why did he remove you. You can literally ask him why during this conversation. in a nonconfrontational way).
It really works to cut-through bullshit and make any situation clear. BUT it does all hinge on you going FIRST, setting the tone, and opening up about YOUR feelings.
Listen he fell for me first and it’s because when he saw me first time we did lock eyes and he raised his eyebrows and parted lips so I don’t really know is that a good thing? Then we just maintain eye contact I do cuz I wana talk to him but he’s too I don't know ego or reserved I don't know. But then he never said he did like me but he asked people “ I don’t know if she likes me or not” so I don’t know if he wants to know or he just wanna know for fun for his ego. But he was rude when he asked me to help I did and then he said don’t come back to my area (his work area) I was angry and then all that happened as I explained he asked for my snap through a friend and yeh the rest you already know. That’s why I never opened up cuz he behaves weird sometimes then lied about his name saying his surname iis his name when it isn’t 😂 fuckin prik so yeah I don't know what to think he added me I don’t think he’ll add me again that was after 2 months of no msging as well I did say to him I’m not mad at him asked if he was he said no but then no convo so he removed me
He started behaving cold well I to was because I’m not sure 🤔 if he liked me or not but ye
Ok... I was thinking this was a guy you were way closer to with more of a history between you two. In this case, the open and honest talk (while it will still work) isn't as easy to do, nor is it the "go-to" solution here.
The problem is, I'm still not going to be able to give you any more insight into his motivations. I still have no idea.
BUT from what you just wrote it sounds like there was a misunderstanding at some earlier point, which got resolved in words... but things were still never ok again after that.
If that's the case, then what you need to do is to have a "clear the air" talk. If you guys ended the disagreement both saying things were cool... but then nobody ACTED like things were cool.
That is easy enough to fix. (getting the past shit truly over).
You do that by addressing it head-on.
You're going to walk up to him and: The main point of what you're going to say to him is..."hey... I thought we said we were cool. How come we don't talk anymore".
You can do that HOWVER you want. You can make a kinda joke about it. You can just approach it straightfrowardly. However you want. But all you need to do is to have a talk about how it's really stupid that you guys haven't been acting cool with each other, eventhough you both SAID you were cool with each other.
In these situations, both people DO want things to go back to normal. It's just... they didn't. So... you basically just have a "wait... we aren't acting normal with each other. Let's start actually acting normal with each other" talk.
Once you acknowledge that the original "make-up" didn't seem to work (things are still weird)... then you're good. The acknowledgement of that between you both should get rid of the weirdness. For real this time.
Hmm yeah I do feel that to because he always stares and we use to smile and have a laugh and since I left he added me himself and then yeah he ended up removing me out the blue maybe because of no messages so isn’t it weird for me to add him on snap I can still search and see his snap he is very quiet reserved guy and I heard him saying to friend while I was working he asked him “ I don’t know if she likes me or not “ I don't know if he’s asking as a ego boost or is genuine but I did notice on my last shift he kinda followed me like he was walking infront of me and he saw me and then turned back my direction ans I walked past And then he came again walked out the door before me but never said anything while I smoked so I don't know if he would ever and plus he is a bit rude saying If I had his number then I would keep callin which is not true so ofc private call and he said “ cuz you don’t have a life “ like wtf so obvs I got mad at him but then he did add me on snap even tho I said no to him through his mate so I’m confused and then he removes me cuz why would I he spoke like that so 🤦♀️
Maybe you were too aggressive for him, by calling and asking questions? Or the conversations didn't flow as easily as he thought they would? He added you first, he had some kind of reason for that. And judging on how the interactions went, they didn't seem promising; he probably thought it was a lost cause and as such, there wasn't much reason to keep trying or even keep you as a friend on there.
So does that mean he does like me? Or did at least? Yeah gues we didn’t really talk and I didn’t think he was alone when I’m call to me by the tone but seemed annoyed then I didn’t really reply or pop up he seemed annoyed and then weeks later removed me why? Like I don’t get it WEEKS LATER he removed me as well
I would say that he had some kind of interest in you. For sure. Going through that much effort to get your snap means he had a reason. But, because of one thing or another, the conversation never really took off. He'd shoot his shot, and it would miss. He'd try again, miss. He couldn't quite stick the landing. After a few times, he probably figured he dug a hole that he couldn't get out of and gave up. Give it a week or two of silence and he decided that you were a lost cause OR that having you as a friend was too much of a temptation to try again, so the best thing is to just unfriend you and remove temptation.
Hmm I guess so makes sense but it has been a month now and nothing and I don’t know if he would even remember my Snapchat account or not and his friend seems into me because he coming to talk All the time at work and keeps asking if I’m mad at him (about the argument) when I asked before he removed me he did say “ that’s weird why are they asking” which sounds to me he didn’t ask but his friend that may be into me which is THEIR friend not mine but seems like he I don't know really it’s all confusing
I couldn't guess any further, young mem are odd most of the time. Good luck either way.
Defo aha but thank you ☺️ for your opinion
You're most welcome! If there's an update, let me know, on here or DM, whichever you prefer, if you don't mind.
Sadly 😞 I don’t know if he will add or accept
You seemed ambivalent when you described your interactions with him, so you actuality feel some kind of way for him?