Guys, why don't guys reply to apology messages?

[Anonymous]

Why don't guys reply to lasses who messages of apology for upsetting or freaking them out after just meeting them?

Updates

+1 y

Also if he wants nothing to do with her would it be best to ignore him if see him out and about again even if he's with mutual friends they share?

[LickwidSkie]

He could be angry/hurt/upset/freaked out enough to not want to talk. Some people just enjoy feeling like the power is in his hands and ignoring the person enforces their position and/or "teaches them a lesson." Sometimes people feel like relationships are largely power struggles due to bad past experiences. Or it could be something else. In any case I think the best thing to do is let it go and see if he gets back to you. Otherwise, you're either chasing someone that doesn't want to be with you or showing him that you're willing to be ignored and manipulated.

[Asker]

Been 11 years still no contact, been told by mutual friends he's a really nice guy lol strange he sent friend request if he didn't want contact

[LickwidSkie]

Oh okay. The way your question was worded it sounded like this was all recent.

[Asker]

Sorry my mistake, that's my learning disabilities kicking in again lol

[LickwidSkie]

That's okay lol. In any case, if someone is going to ignore you I think it's best to just let it go. Personally, I found a greater sense of peace in life when I learned to quit caring about people who don't care about me.

[Asker]

Yea trying to forget about it when think i have it keeps popping back in my head lol

[LickwidSkie]

Considering that it's been 11 years, I'm wondering... is what your experiencing really about him or is it the feeling of being rejected that's keeping it in your head?

[Asker]

I did think he was cute but I also do find it difficult to cope with people not allowing me a chance to apologize and/ explain why I say or do stuff, my family have told me in the past i could be clingy but one message saying hi after initial sorry message is nowhere near as clingy as I once was

[LickwidSkie]

I was taken out of a really bad situation when I was 3. It left me with a lot of mental and emotional issues that took a very long time to sort out. One of the things was that I’d get so ridiculously attached to women I was in relationships with. I think it goes without saying that while it might feel great as long as things are going well, there’s nothing great about it when things go south and the relationship ends. I got to where I absolutely hated that about myself, but I couldn’t force it to change. I recognize where you’re coming from in the things you say because I’ve felt the same compulsions and worries.

As I got older though, I learned to step back, recognize irrational thoughts and fears, realize that certain things not working out doesn’t stop life from going on, accept when I don’t have control/choice, and that sometimes the only thing I can do is keep moving forward. It can be extremely difficult to reign in something that has such an emotional impact on you, but I’m a whole lot better than I used to be.

[Asker]

Yea really at first just had friendship in mind, I've always felt awkward around guys especially guys I'm attracted too lol

[LickwidSkie]

Well, it's pretty normal for some people to feel nervous, self-concious, awkward, and things like that around people of the opposite sex, especailly ones they're attracted to. But do you think in your case it's more extreme than what's typical?

[Asker]

Maybe or could be being mindful of being physically vulnerable due to disabilities

[LickwidSkie]

Oh I see. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I can't imagine what that is like for you.

[Asker]

Frankly it's annoying people regularly complain about me having an attitude when that's simply due to the way I'm treated, like people calling me girl when I'm a lady as I'm over 18 and people talking to who ever I'm out with about me as if I'm not there, if I'm with someone that is. So my attitude is a defence mechanism

[LickwidSkie]

You said you had to diabilities and I don't know how that plays into everything, but I can say that it's typical for older people to view people in their late teens/early 20's as very young. With that being said, when I was that age I found it very annoying to be spoken to or of as if I wasn't a grown man.

As far as people talking about you as if you're not there, depending on the situation that can be rude, embarrassing, feel exclusive, and so forth.

[Asker]

Respectfully it doesn't matter the situation if u haven't asked or given someone else permission to answer for u it is rude, I am in my 30's, I honestly feel people do that to me not because of my age but because I am in a wheelchair and therefore they do not look down to see people like me at a lower level

[LickwidSkie]

Oh okay. Yeah, when you're in your 30's that's way past the age of someone not referring to you as a grown woman. And when you said speak as if you're not there, I didn't realize you meant they were answering for you without permission. I agree, that is very rude, disrespectful, and inconsiderate. Were you able to walk at one point or have you been in a wheelchair your whole life?

[Asker]

I could walk indoors when I was little but as soon as I started secondary school I had to stay in my chair, my mam got sick of people asking questions about me when I was with her even when I was a child that she started saying ask her yourself this was the only occasions I was allowed to be rude to people even people she knows lol

[LickwidSkie]

So did this kind of thing lead you to feel that people see your disability more than they see you as a person?

[Asker]

Yes and my mam said it looked like that to her too

[LickwidSkie]

I'm sure it's hurtful to her also. It's hard seeing your child hurt and struggle. It's late here and I'm going to bed. It was a pleasure speaking to you.

[Asker]

Back at u it's late/ early morning here too good night I'm carol

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

They are probably still angry or worse, they have decided they are done with the girl.

[Asker]

Even 11 years on, surely if they still angry n want nothing to do with her they wouldn't send friend requests on social media lol

[boobliker]

it's polite.

[Asker]

? Ull need to be more clear please lol

[boobliker]

you say something i say ok

[Asker]

If u saying its polite to ignore apologies then I say it is not in fact totally opposite

[Iron_Man]

They should

[Asker]

What if the guy speaks to them first but doesn't mention what happened happened the first time they met?

[Iron_Man]

He should explain everything

[Asker]

He should explain? If the woman was in the wrong in the first place, wouldn't it be her who needs to explain why they did/ said what they did