Should you ever ask a guy if he is distancing himself from you or just cut off contact?

[Anonymous]

He was giving me mixed signals a few months ago and when I communicated with him about it he said he was being distant. We got back in contact a month or so ago and I made sure the dynamic was different (in terms of what I could control from my side). He seems to value me more than what he did (he panics when he thinks he may have done something wrong) and puts more effort into certain things. However, besides the times he's panicked he's done something wrong, he won't't reach out to start a conversation, will leave me on delivered for days while replying to other people and just randomly ignore me in the middle of conversations. It's tiring and just when I feel like it's going well (even as friends), it then feels like that changes really quickly but then the next time we are in touch everything is great. I'm really bad at setting boundaries and my mind is kind of split over whether I just cut off contact and don't reach out and leave it all down to him, or bring it up and explain that, after last time I'm a bit conscious about what is going on and that I've given him a chance as a friend but I feel as though it reflects badly on me. I know many people say to walk away (which is one of the things I've said), but then I also don't want a misunderstanding but I also don't want to come across as needy but neither do I want to be seen in a bad light for maintaining a friendship with someone who is 'distancing themselves' from me for the second time! This guy is really good at communicating about topics that other guys shy away from, but I still wonder what he genuinely thinks about it.

[Guy13]

It seems like he has more than one woman going and decided that you were not the one around that third date. He still enjoys your attention. Given these seemingly obvious factors to all including some of your girlfriends then Needy sounds right. Hoping hard in Neddy especially with the inability to define boundaries and stick them.

It is not a terrible thing... If that's who you are and how you were made. It is likely to make life harder than it has to be though. You're going to follow your heart and not your head because you are sweet like that. Good luck with him. :-)

[Heterosketero]

People ger depressed and isolate, ESPECIALLY POST PANDEMIC. Give the guy the beneift of the doubt.

[In_Trance]

do which ever you feel is right

[spartan55]

Who is he?

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[spartan55]

Friend? Boyfriend? Plumber? Gardener?

[Asker]

We had been flirting for months and met up to go for food with each other a few times. When he started making excuses the third time, I confronted him about it which was when he said about him being distant and I cut him off. Now I've referred to him as a friend quite a few times, but there is still flirting. I just don't want to be sustaining any type of relationship with someone who is just randomly going to say they are distancing themselves from me, but again, I don't know if this is currently the case

[spartan55]

Sounds like you are asking quite a bit considering you aren't even dating.