A guy I went on 4 dates with said he likes me but he texts me 2x a week only about when we'll meet, is this a bad sign?

[cdimples99]

Do these actions mean I am low hanging fruit to him? We do like the same things but I just dont want to be taken advantage of if I keep going out with him and he never shows me he wants more out of this?

[MarkHrdman]

Your problem is over valuing the situation.

Somethings never enough and you'll always want more.

The only problem is why you're arguing about someone you dont want to be with, in hopes that he will change.

The only answer is if you are ever going to change because you seem to be throwing it out there as though its the grand prize for a night out & hence the compulsion in who you're to him.

Unless you change your behaviour nothing is going to change between you & him & the question really should be if you really want to be with him which you dont because youse dont connect on a psychological level which doesn't mean shit because obviously you enjoy fucking him and claim to feel used. Only its your guilt.

there's no way to shape the box in wrapping paper to make it seem like its anything other then what it is.

You give a fuck and you get to go out. Its that simple & there's no reason why you can't choose where you're going to meet if his asking you twice a week to meet.

If anything, thats a lot more then you should be asking for from this guy.

Its like painting the strips on a zebra and calling it a horse.

Youve got the wrong animal & maybe what you really need is a pony because you can't handle the game of the track.

So enjoy it while it lasts. 1 day you'll have forgotten all about this.

The question is if you'll be happily married to someone else or an escort that has taken a few dents

[cdimples99]

I never had sex with him
I need to be in a committed relationship before going that far, which is what I want from this guy
I just feel taken advantage of because my time is valuable and I spend time with this man hoping he will want more from me than hugs and light conversation
But I dont want to look desperate by telling him I want more

[MarkHrdman]

Most woman would be envious of you being with a guy who doesn't want sex but to provide you with emotional interest & probably go insane by seeing you're complaining about a guy hugging you and wanting to enjoy light conversation with you.
This is completely different to what you're describing because at no point have you given you're breasts to him as easy as grabbing low hanging fruit but of course in these times you could very well be saying you're a tranny with low hanging fruit or a cd, rendering the conversation as mute.

[lightbulb27]

tough call... he may just be very busy in life, not very well trained. a lot of guys believe it or not, are not trained well:)

you will have some work to do to stay with him, requiring good communication, being realistic with whom he is.

good luck to you.

[hinaaaaaa]

Do you know if he has a busy life with work and school? I'm not saying that that would be a good excuse. But it could be a reason. If you like this guy and want to see where it goes, I would have a sit down with him.

He could just be the type of person that likes to have conversations in person. I have friends who will wait until we meet and will talk and talk about everything that's happened since we last saw eachother.

It might also be nice also pick his brain of what he's looking for if you haven't already established if you guys were looking for casual or possible relationships.

[spartan55]

How does texting link to interest? I'll say it again guys do not give a shit about texting. It's stupid, and we value face to face more (most of us) Girls expect us to want to text constantly... Uh no...
How would it be taking advantage of you?

[cdimples99]

I think just seeing me once a week and cuddling without deeper conversation makes me feel like he wants to use me to fill his time and get a quick lovey dovey fix - but what I really want is this man to be in a serious relationship with me. I dont want to waste time letting him cuddle me and kiss my face without more commitment - we never french kissed, he'd just kiss my face

but he would never ask me deeper questions to get to know me more

[spartan55]

Have you told him what you want?

[cdimples99]

No I haven't, how do I do this without scaring him?

[spartan55]

You can't have any sort of relationship unless you lay out what you want. He has no idea how you feel. He may feel the same and is scared to say anything as well. If it 'scares him off' then he wasn't the right guy anyway.

[cdimples99]

ty so much! :-)

[spartan55]

You're welcome! Good luck!

[OlderAndWiser]

Why does your generation judge potental partners so heavily on the basis of their texting behavior? If you want a conversation wth him, why don't you dial his phone number and start talkng when he says "hello?"

[cdimples99]

I dont know if it is the time or place to have a talk on what he wants and expects at the date 4 level. I dont want to scare him away. Any advice? I think it is a bit rash to do it that way, maybe in person would be better?

[OlderAndWiser]

Sometimes, having a talk about expectations and ground rules, etc. becomes a big deal. . . much bigger than it should be. Why not call him midweek and talk for a few minutes? You will know within a few minutes if he is receptive to having any extended conversation. If he isn't receptive. . . do you want a relationship wth a guy who doesn't want to talk to you?

[cdimples99]

great point thank you so much

[serious]

Maybe he has decided he only wants friendship from you but has not told you yet but if you want more then friendship then it is best to cease contact with him.

[Alex8736]

he's probably married