Why are we so confusing?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend once explained his theory that opposite sex friendships are not without some form of inappropriate attraction. Now despite him saying he had no interest in adding any female friends on... say Monday, by Tuesday he has added new female friends. I normally would not put much thought into this but with his viewpoint being what it had been for a few years to flipping overnight and knowing he would blow gasket if I did the same; should I be asking any questions or just let him be with his change of heart (knowing I cannot have male friends).

[Anonymous]

I think women as well as men can be friends. Not all women are trying to fuck their male friends the way males are trying to fuck their female friends. I have female friends who aren’t the best looking so if I had the chance I’m not going for it. I have older friends as well as younger friends. I’m not hitting up an older friend who’s 60 for some action. But yes a lot of men if given the chance would nail their female friends, the cute ones. I have a lot of cute female friends as well as a few older, maybe about 2-3 years older than me that I’d fuck. But that’s cause I picked them out for a reason. In our twisted minds even if we can’t nail them so long as we can be close to them, maybe she will hug me or her man dumps her and cheats on her I can save the day lol sadly this is how a lot of men think. I mean look at tv. Looks at news anchors, I have yet to see a female anchor actually look like an “anchor.” Meaning fat, overweight. Almost all the women I see on local news are voluptuous, blond, Hispanic, long sexy legs, etc. A man can be friends w a girl if he’s not into women, that’s one of the few instances where a man can also be friends w women. I think your man has always had these interest he just didn’t want to say it because he knew it would upset you. There’s this cute blond anchor w blue eyes, long toned legs who my girl can’t stand. So I say damn she’s stupid, or man her nose is big or something to give my girl the impression that I don’t like her when I really do. Yes I know I sound fucked up right now writing all this. A lot of men will say I’m full of shit, which it doesn’t always apply to all men but a lot of us think the same. They just won’t say it because they know women won’t talk to them. Women say they wish men would just be honest, share our feelings. Guess what I want to fuck a lot of women on the face of this planet. But how many of them would actually talk to me if I told them that? Probably not many especially if you don’t have looks. I hope this helps in some way.

[Asker]

Your take is the same as my guy's. So I'm not surprised. He wanted to make a deal that he and I avoid adding "friends" on social media of the opposite sex because of how he views this topic, adding that it removes the temptation. He held true to this little pact for over two years until last week. All of sudden his "friends" list has some new females in it. He games and talks to them daily in my absence. He even carried on a conversation in a party chat with two of then (thinking I was asleep). He mentioned "his" family members other friends, "his" dogs, "his" ex and "his" this and that. Never once did he bring up his relationship with me or mention me. He bragged about how he got this or that without saying it had been a gift from his live-in girlfriend. Anytime I come from work he immediately says (only if a female is in the chat) that he has to go, his dinner just arrived or he has to take "his" dogs out... not "my girlfriend is home" and just as quickly mutes his mic. I did tell him that it hurt my feelings that he doesn't mention us or me and he said that unless he is specifically asked about a significant other or is being flirted with that he doesn't feel he needs to make that claim. Which strikes me funny since he himself is a healers person and has occasionally flipped on me for being flirted with by a stranger (regardless that I am quick to say I have a boyfriend). I am wondering if I have cause to worry here?

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t know if you really need to worry. I mean yes he’s getting his rocks off talking to other women that’s for sure. I mean for the longest at work I would do the same, flirt w women but never mention that I had a girlfriend. One so I could keep flirting w them. Two was because in my mind if they knew I was w someone they’d stop flirting w me, but nowadays that isn’t always the case. As I’ve gotten older I don’ t mention that I have a girlfriend only because I like my privacy. I used to work in a prison so even on FB I wouldn’t post pics of us on there. The people who do know I have a girlfriend, especially women, who I’ve known for quite some time. I don’t feel I need to tell w wry one at work that I talk to occasionally that I’m w someone.

[Celticwolf78]

If he complains about you having friends time to get rid of him that's toxic

[Asker]

Thanks 👍

[DizzyDesii]

I dont seek friendship with men unless I’m attracted to them. As for the ones that I am not attracted to, they often fell into the friendzone by default when i told them i was not romantically interested in them. So in my opinion, no two opposite sex are ever just friends without one or both having liked eachother at some point (unless the opposite sex friends are into their own same sex)

[Asker]

Thanks 👍

[Nikki1989]

Only insecure men can't be friends with women.

[Asker]

I'm sure my guy has some insecurities. Who doesn't? I am just not sure how to handle his change of heart... his open admission that any female friends he has had in the past was because he felt a physical attraction thus he and I should avoid friends of the opposite sex until recently when he told me about a chick he met in a game but wasn't going to "friend" her and then did the next day but when I asked about how he felt about me starting a friendship with a flamboyantly gay man, he was not happy in the slightest and finally said that I could as long as he was present too. It feels one sided to me and I'm trying to debate whether or not I'm valid in my confusion and curiosities as to why after two years he'd change his mind without notice.

[In_Trance]

Men and women can't be friends

[Asker]

Thanks 👍 I'm assuming that I'm okay to have internal questions about his change of heart for himself in his choice of friends then... just unsure how to approach the subject with him, if at all at this point.