Does it there’s no chance for us to date again?

[Anonymous]

Because of different life goals he said he didn’t want to continue to date. He said ”I’m sure you’ll find your soulmate” , ”I’m believe you’ll meet more compatible person soon”

the thing is I want him not someone else..

Updates

11 mo

Does it mean*

[qwert1234]

What you need to learn is...

Want does not always get.

Hard to be with someone who has a totally different goal than you.

Example: My ex wants to get married, I, on the other hand, want to as well, but not a priority. I personally do not care if we get married by age 60.

Did not work because she kept giving hints, and I acknowledge, but again, not a priority for me.

[Asker]

so he was telling the truth in your opinion and it wasn’t just an excuse for he doesn’t find me attractive? He told me that after the first date

[qwert1234]

That I do not know. But whatever it is, be grateful it happened after the first date. Still little to zero investment has been done.

[Asker]

During the date we were talking about what we wanted in the future. I told him like after 10 years I would’ve wanted to move with him and possibly if we have kids then with our kids to another country…
I also talked about how I would like to get better job in the future and study more. did I make the impression that I don’t want to have kids in the near future? I think he wanted kids soon and said he wants big family

[qwert1234]

Wait, hold up. 1st date and you talked about moving with him already? Does not matter if it's today or the next century. That may have freaked him out.
No, in all seriousness. You are supposed to be in the "getting to know" stage.

[Asker]

Noo we were talking just in general what we wanted in life. I told him I want to move abroad after 10 years. I did told him earlier I want kids. So I thought we would’ve be on the same page. Because he told me he also wanted kids.

[qwert1234]

But you also said "I told him like after 10 years I would’ve wanted to move with him".

[Asker]

Sorry I worded in wrong. In my mind I wanted us to move together but I didn’t told him that.

[Asker]

I just said my plan is to move to warmer country like after 10 years

[Nikki1989]

Move on, you will find someone else. Men are so easy to find.

[Vázquez613]

Its what he wants too. He wants her to find happiness.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 does it mean he doesn’t anything for? The reason he have was because of our life goals don’t align?

[Asker]

Doesn’t feel anything for me*?

[Asker]

The reason he gave was*

[Vázquez613]

He does feel for you. He just doesn't want to keep you in a mental prison where you are forced to choose between him and your life goals.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 when I askef him what life goals don’t align he didn’t want to elaborate and just said “ just in general they don’t align”
Why?

[Vázquez613]

The reason I would do that is because I didn't want to hurt your feelings.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 so you think he was lying and it wasn’t the real reason?

[Vázquez613]

No like I feel I wouldn't live up to you expectations and you would be disappointed.

[Vázquez613]

Like you would feel like I am not good enough for you.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 so he didn’t want to disappoint me?

[Asker]

And he’s not good enough for me?

[Vázquez613]

Yes. If he feels the same way I do. With social media and having to meet a high standard. Its too much pressure and I don't want to embarrass someone else or make them look bad.

I want them to be happy, but I am strong enough. There are better men for them.

[Vázquez613]

He might feel like he isn't because of the pressure to be the best version of himself.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 and how would that hurt my feelings if he said exact things that didn’t align? Because now to me it seems like he made an excuse..

[Vázquez613]

It can be seen like that. But I don't think I am gallant to impress a woman. I think he might feel the same way.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 he said that to me after first date…

[Asker]

I was talking about in the future like after 10 years and I would’ve wanted to move with him and possibly if we have kids then with our kids…
I also talked about how I would like to get better job in the future and study more. did I make the impression that I don’t want to have kids in the near future? I think he wanted kids soon and said he wants big family

[Vázquez613]

he's lucky to have girlfriend like you. You are very responsible. Thinking of your children's future. He'll certainly miss you, but maybe its for the better.

You deserve better. You deserve useless men like me and him. You deserve a guy who can provide you with a better life. A guy with self-esteem.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 what shows that he has low self esteem?

[Asker]

I mesnt to sau after 10 years I wanted to move abroad

[Vázquez613]

I wanted to move away and be with the girl I like too. But I've been through too much. I don't want my problems to hold her back in life.

I think he has to much baggage and doesn't feel like he deserves you.

[Asker]

Can he change his mind?

[Vázquez613]

You have to let him know its okay because made a decision. You have to approach and tell or else it won't change.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 tell him what’s okay?

[Vázquez613]

Tell him what you want in life is to be with him. Approach. He might think you don't want him near you. You have to let him know it's okay to be with you.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 well obviously I don’t want to be near a guy who told me to find another man lol 😂

[Vázquez613]

Alright lol

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 I do miss him tbh what do you suggest for me to do without me looking desperate?

[Vázquez613]

Just be his friend. Add him on social media and chat.

[Vázquez613]

Or you could move on from him. I think moving on would help clarify things for him too. You deserve a guy who treats you like a princess. Don't settle for him

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 I actually removed him from my instagram followers. I don't know I’m afraid that I look crazy if I start chatting to him because maybe he doesn’t want to talk to me

[Vázquez613]

if you don't feel comfortable around him maybe that's why he said that.

[Vázquez613]

There are plenty of fish in the sea. You can find a nicer guy if you think he is mean or hostile. You shouldn't stay with someone you are scared of.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 no, I’m not scared of him or uncomfortable around him.

[Asker]

What did you mean by this ” I think moving on would help clarify things for him too.”

[Vázquez613]

Well maybe he wasn't sure you felt this way and he probably wants you to be with someone you feel safe with.

[Asker]

@Vázquez613 by the way during the date I told him I want to move abroad after like 10 years… (I was hoping we could move together abroad one day)
I also told him I want to maybe study more in our local university and get better job. He on the other hand seemed like he wants children soon and big family. I did told him I want big family too.

[spartan55]

Wow, you need to see a mental health professional.

[Wise4myage]

Move on. The writing is on the wall.

[Asker]

Yesterday someone called me from number that I don’t recognize. When I called them back they didn’t asnwer or get back to me. Not many people have my number. What if it is him lol

[Wise4myage]

If it happens again, then ask him.

[malwins4]

NOPE

[Asker]

Why are you so sure :/?

[In_Trance]

move on