Why would a man keep sending me photos of him shirtless in board shorts?

[Anonymous]

It’s a man I know. Is he trying to turn me on? He’s very handsome and has an excellent body, but I admire it like I’d admire a painting. Not having sexual feelings. I’m bisexual with a preference for men, but this man isn’t a very nice person.

[Anonymous]

He probably enjoys attention/admiration. Like I’m sure you haven’t ignored every pic he sends and make some sort of comment, some people get off on that. Especially insecure ones. But if he’s not a nice guy then I wouldn’t even entertain it. Hot or not, that’s the sort of person who will throw your compliments back in your face one day and make you regret ever saying anything.

[Asker]

I’ve looked at them once or twice, which he’d know, but haven’t commented on them.

[Opinion Owner]

Has he asked you about them or made any comments that are suggestive?

[Asker]

He’s said ‘I miss you, I love you, I want you. He’s said he’s starting a new life and that he is what he is, no more, no less.

[Asker]

Then these pictures, after I’d been on a date with a guy with the same name as his best friend.

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like you two had a thing at some point for him to say all that.. anyway I was only asking because if there’s history or any incentive then that could explain it

[Asker]

We liked each other but he said he has severe sensory issues, making him unable to cope with intimate touching.

[Asker]

He’s autistic

[Asker]

Is he saying he’s still interested, even though he can’t act on it?

[Opinion Owner]

My ex was autistic and I remember the whole sensory thing being an issue for some things. Honestly your guy may still be interested and sending the pics is him hoping to stay on your mind. But that’s either here nor there when he’s claiming he can’t date or be intimate with you. I’d keep doing what you’re doing and just remain disengaged. It’s just pointless when it’s not gonna go anywhere, you know?

[Asker]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jazzy54]

If he’s not nice, either tell him to stop sending you photos or block him.

[Anonymous]

ouch that hurts.. in what way isn't he a nice person? how isn't he nice?

[Asker]

He was nasty to me. My friends said he accused me behind my back of wanting his money.

[Opinion Owner]

that makes no sense at all.. you have your own money why would you need or want his? Your friends are full of shit

[Opinion Owner]

listen i can't speak for him but i can only speak for myself based on similiar instances. I went from being nice to keeping my guard up around the woman/person I love because that person continuously hurt me cheated on me broke my heart humiliated me treated me like i wasn't good enough. her personality changed so much since since i met her 5 1/3 years ago that she isn't the same person anymore. especially recently when she fell into hating religion and christianity and started her demon worshipping it really scared the shit out of me. she mocks the bible christianity every chance she gets and it turns my stomach. her cheating became so out of control i grew tired of it and the constant ingratefulness with no thank you's from her and never saying i love you to me it hurt and when she's with that other guy it kills me inside especially when i bent over backwards helping her and her family out for years while he's only been in the picture for about a year and hasn't done nearly a fraction of the things i've done for her or her family it's heartbreaking that she shows more affection and attention to him then to me.

[Opinion Owner]

I just got done helping her older sister out getting her an eye patch for her eye that was infected when she didn't have one and got her younger sister stuff for her new apartment when she didn't have much so she could have an easier head start on living on her own. But she doesn't show the slightest bit of appreciation or gratitude and only talks about him endlessly to the point she's practically ramming it down everyone's throats now. and i'm not the only one who's getting sick of it a lot of people that follow her are. they tell me in private and won't tell her these things and no i'm not talking about her family telling me stuff in private i'm referring to other people that follow her. It's hard seeing the person i love with someone else which is why i been keeping my distance emotionally in all this so i don't get hurt again keeping my guard up and get so sick and tired when she continuously rams it down everyone's throats about the other guy she's with

[Asker]

I haven’t done anything like that. We’d be having a nice conversation and then he’d insult me for being poorer than him. Actually all our friends thought I was after his money because I wear nice things and I’m poor. He’s rich.

[Opinion Owner]

i spent so much time crying over her i got tired of it that's why i been trying hard to distance myself but at the same time remain in contact. the truth is yes i still do love her but so fucking afraid deeply afraid of getting hurt by her again which i know she'll just do again and again

[Asker]

Well, I’m not this woman you’re talking about. My name is Kat.

[Opinion Owner]

that is really fucked up.. can i tell you something i never gave a damn or cared how much or how little money she had as long as she wasn't working some dead end job like retail or restaurant crap. I rather her work on her own and make her own money even if it's very little then work some shitty job like retail or restaurant work. A guy should never care how much or how little a woman makes as long as he likes or loves her

[Asker]

I agree. I did care about him for who he was.

[Opinion Owner]

was that the only issue you had with him?

[Asker]

Yes that and he couldn’t cope with sex or kissing due to autism.

[Opinion Owner]

oh.. well i know in my case a lot of it boils down to shyness being shy from a fucked up childhood and having fucked up parents who didn't raise me properly or right

[Opinion Owner]

maybe that could be his case too

[Asker]

So you haven’t resolved that with your psychologist?

[Opinion Owner]

no because i had to fire another one in fact most of the ones i was seeing would sit there like useless bumps on a log not giving me any real feedback or coping skills or strategies which resulted in numerous blowouts and arguments and yelling matches

[Asker]

I’m not without sympathy for people who’ve had it tough. I have a history of sexual abuse, as in I’ve been molested and raped a few times, molested as a child, raped as a woman. I seem like the last sort of person this could’ve happened to today. I’m bubbly, warm, loving and very fond of the platonic company of men and I still want to get married. But some of us are unfortunate that way. I got therapy and I’m fully okay. Don’t give your parents that power over your life. Get therapy. Is my suggestion.

[Asker]

Try a sex therapist? Maybe you can have training to learn to cope with intimate touches.

[Asker]

Are you the same guy I’m asking about? Whether you are or aren’t, surely there’s a way around this? Like treatment for ptsd? Exposure therapy or visiting a prostitute to figure out how you like to be touched? Viagra? If all else fails?

[Asker]

Uhm, what is he trying to tell me, this man, from all these mixed messages? I’m autistic myself and I can’t read them.

[Opinion Owner]

prostitutes are out of the question not going to happen don't need to catch any diseases. and i don't need viagra i get plenty of hard ons already. and yes i do suffer from ptsd.

[Asker]

Have you thought about trying to see a woman and seeing how it goes? Obviously condoms.. there’s a good brand called Skyn. It’s non latex.

[Asker]

If you’re the guy I know, then you’re a very handsome man and you have natural charm. Why not date someone and see how it goes? Just no need to rush sex. Kissing should happen by the third date. Sex, on the second or third month of dating. Sounds like you need someone you can be friends with first. Before all of this.

[Asker]

Getting physical with someone other than yourself feels weird at first. The first time a man kissed me, it felt wet and spongy, to me. Not exciting. I had to get used to it. I went on a date with a really cute guy last weekend and god could he kiss! I’ll just say, thinking with my head and saying no was very difficult. Turned out to be engaged. Asshole. Anyway. Everyone gets nervous, especially as an autistic person. Sex was difficult for me, too. I’m not a hundred percent I like the feel of it. But it’s an important way, as is kissing, to express affection and love for your partner. It’s a bit exciting too, when you know it’s coming and you’re in a committed relationship with someone you love.

[Asker]

Stop thinking so much. Just ask one of your friends out that you have a lot in common with and are attracted to (even a little bit). Kiss her at least by date three. Lean in, tilt your head to one side, part your lips and gently close them over hers. Hold for five seconds. Pull back. Then as for sex, stop thinking so much. Just try it with someone you like or love. Or moments like these pass you by.

[Opinion Owner]

i don't have any friends and i rather have moments pass me by don't need to get hurt anymore by anyone else

[Asker]

Your choice. It seems sad to choose to be a victim rather than have the life you deserve, Ben. Not everyone is going to hurt you in life.

[Asker]

It seems like you’re running away from life. All the blessings it can offer. That’s a shame for you.

[Opinion Owner]

name's not Ben

[Asker]

The point is, you’re running away from your problems.

[Opinion Owner]

no actually i'm not i'm avoiding problems i don't need

[Asker]

It seems sad. You’re giving up on your life.

[jahaims]

Because he wants to fuck