How to deal with a rude co-worker?

[imanoverthinker]

hi, so there is this guy who is just rude and gives negative enrgy to everybody. how can we maintain normal relationship with him? he is also older so he probably thinks that he is and knows more. i just want to have a normal relationship, so that we can talk, laugh sometimes and great each other. do i need to be polite to him and him being rude or do i just mirror his behavior?

[SnowedIn]

Don't mirror his behavior. Be polite. Greet him. Do your job the way you were trained. Don't talk back. (I'm not saying you are or aren't doing that stuff -- that's just what you should do.)

Essentially, model the behavior you want to see.

Here's the thing: he may never change. I've had rude coworkers who became dear friends and came to my retirement ceremony. And others who stayed grumpy rude curmudgeons until the day they left.

But, don't mirror him. Don't stoop to his level. Be the better person.

[imanoverthinker]

thanks for your advice, i’ll try to be nice so the work will be easier and nicer to do

[SnowedIn]

Well said. I won't sugar coat it: it'll suck. You're being nice and doing the right thing and he's not like a petulant kindergartner. BUT you can look yourself in the mirror and say that you did the right thing for the right reasons.

Also, good for you for asking the question. Too many people of all ages don't care any more.

Finally -- what I'm not saying is to let him walk all over you. There's a fine line between being a grumpy old man and unacceptable workplace behavior. You'll know the difference -- when it happens, involve your manager and if they won't help, their manager.

[imanoverthinker]

thank you again! and i will never let him walk over me cause i know where are my boundaries about that kind of behavior

[SnowedIn]

Go you! Rooting for you.

[Anonymous]

What nonsense is this, “gives negative energy to everybody”?

WTH does that even mean? Did he even say anything? Or do you all just not like his body language?

Honestly you all sound like you’re picking on the guy.

[imanoverthinker]

bruh

[Opinion Owner]

Aaaand I was right.

[imanoverthinker]

you don’t even have a clue what i was talking about. that guy was rude with his behavior and body language and when he started working he was just sharing bad energy and everybody who worked could tell that something was off

[Opinion Owner]

So he never said anything whatsoever that you can specifically point to as evidence, just

“He gives off bad vibes. He has rude body language.”

Do you not see how vague and childish that sounds?

I think you and your girlfriends just don’t like the guy. He’s probably just some older guy working some job he doesn’t like (you know, like most everyone else) and you and your teenage female friends who are younger just want to get rid of him.
That way you’ll have the place all to yourselves.

He probably just rolled his eyes when he heard you all talking about Justin Bieber or some guy. And you all didn’t like that. It’s “negative energy.”

You’re bullies. Nothing more.

[imanoverthinker]

i’ll try to be respectful with you but honestly you don’t know what i was trying to say. we aren’t bullies cause we never did anything to him and he’s not very old just about 10 years older. maybe he had a bad day or he just didn’t want to work or something else happened to him. we weren’t talking about Justin Bieber. and he did rudely say that he will do everything on his own when we ask him to help him. i hope that you understand.

[boggboss]

U just need to be professional with him

[imanoverthinker]

in which way? just to be friendly and try to be nice to him?

[boggboss]

Being friendly is not being professional lol u understand u are not at work yo make friends just do the job so treat him in a way that gets the job done no issue

[In_Trance]

ignorance