When a guy says this?

[Anonymous]

There’s this guy who’s been going through personal things and tells me he’s overwhelmed and exhausted. I offered to take him out for a bit and treat him to get his mind off things. I did tell him if he isn’t in the mood or doesn’t want to he can say no.

he responded by saying he’s very stressed with everything trying to get through it and doesn’t have much available time - just a bit to rest

I don’t understand why he didn’t just say no?

[Anonymous]

It’s great if you don’t worry about people’s feelings and are ok with being so blunt, but a flat out “no” can come off as rude and it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. In my mind, if I invite someone out and they say they’re too busy, that is very clearly a no. Just like saying “I’ve got other plans” or “there’s something else I need to do that day”, those are No’s.

[Asker]

I think by me saying you can say no is me caring about others feelings lol it was my way of showing that it is okay to say no if you don’t feel like going and I did say just that so he didn’t feel obligated to or make it hard for him to say no

[Opinion Owner]

See, that’s why it’s important to think outside of yourself and realize everyone perceived things differently, because to me it can come off as uncaring by flat out saying no, since that bluntness can be hurtful. You absolutely do not have to agree, I have numerous instances in my life where I was like “why don’t they just do this” or “why not just do that”, when in reality it isn’t comfortable for everyone. So just as you had your own way of expressing it was ok to say No, he had his own way of saying it without saying it. His answer would not leave me questioning whether or not he’s down to hang out.

[Anonymous]

Basically, he did say no, just not in a direct manner.

[Asker]

Yes I was just curious as why not direct when I asked him to say yes or no both answers are fine by me

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, some guys are like that.