Question about the guy I talk?

[Anonymous]

I met someone like 7 months ago. And three months ago, he told me that he likes me and I liked him too. But there's a problem. He NEVER flirted with me in this 3 months. And when I flirt with him, he smile, thanks me and then warn me. I said why are you warning me. And he says bc it's not good to do it before we have a formal relationship (he's a super religious muslim) I tried to talk to him about this situation. And he said "you will meet the real me when we get engaged/married"
But I'm studying in university rn and I can't stand this situation for years (until I marry him)
And today he said he's going yo watch a movie I said let's watch together. Guess what he said "no, I will watch it with my brother. Maybe next time"
I was upset and didn't talk to him rest of the day. He asked if I'm sad but I said no I'm just tired.

Guys please tell me what to do? I have feelings for him but how can I fix him?

[ImalwaysrightOK]

He sounds extreme. I am very conservative, but that sounds prehistoric and cold too. I don't know too much about Islam, but he could probably suggest going with a few others and you to keep it respectable without saying "no".

[Asker]

I decided to leave him after talking to someone about this :)

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Probably best. Find a guy that's crazy about you.

[BarryLiverstone]

Don’t try to fix him. His faith and devotion are part of the reason you like him. Instead respect his boundaries and cope with your sexual urges in other ways.


Make sense?

[Asker]

Nooo not sexual urges I just wanted to hear romantic words 😔

[BarryLiverstone]

Then compromise. Does he like poetry? There are romantic words in poems that he can tell you that may not be directly related to you.

Why do you want to hear romantic words?

[Asker]

Because I think everyone want to feel loved. He says he has feelings for me but he never shows it

[BarryLiverstone]

That makes sense. Have you and him talked about love languages? I’m sure there is a way within his religion that he can use a love language to express to you how he feels.

What is your love language?

[Asker]

My love language is saying nice things with jokes. And I guess his love language is announce our relationship to his family and loved ones.

[BarryLiverstone]

For him, his religion and family are priorities. It sounds like if he compromises those foundations to be more flirty and direct with you that he fears what his family will do or other religious consequences. He must believe that you can wait until engagement

[BarryLiverstone]

Not sure what his love language is but he probably expresses love to his family in certain ways

[Asker]

You said I shouldn't try fix him. Then he shouldn't try to fix me too but he tries. And I try to keep up with him bc I tbh I didn't want to lose him. He told me to stop drinking, I stopped. Told me to start praying and I did. Now tries to make me wear hijab (covering hair) and quit smoking. If I sacrifice something for him, then he should do the same thing. I didn't ask too much, just wanted to feel his love.

[BarryLiverstone]

You feeling upset about him not wanting to watch a movie with you is valid, is that not allowed?

[BarryLiverstone]

I would agree if you are in a committed relationship then making compromises and changing behavior benefits both people. But are you and him exclusive?

[Asker]

No he can watch movie with me but he doesn't spend time with me

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s not good if he’s not wanting to spend time with you. Regardless of watching a movie. Aren’t you his girlfriend? So you deserve some quality time

[WhitneySnow]

He might not be fixable. His religion believes in no flirting or anything romantic or sexual before marriage (or at least till you’re engaged).

[Asker]

I know but I think that's extreme. Okay I'm muslim too but I'm not that religious. And once I was talking to him and I touched his arm and he immediately pushed my hand. He said I shouldn't touch him. I WAS SHOCKED

[WhitneySnow]

I think he’s unfixable. I like your beliefs much better.

[Asker]

I'll try my best to fix him. Because I cannot wait for years to see his "romantic" side 😆
I don't say touch me but at least say nice and romantic things hahahah

[WhitneySnow]

Good luck girl

[Asker]

Thank you!

[WhitneySnow]

You’re welcome 😊

[Anonymous]

This will never work. Religion is like cancer.

[Asker]

That's his decision. We just have to respect.

[MrHugeD]

I can see that you both are totally different and u can't click together, Just try to find ur type or wait until marriage!

[Asker]

I just woke up and gonna leave him hahaha

[MrHugeD]

Hahaha best decisions are taken after wake up 😄

[boobliker]

becouse he liked you from the start