Why do men chase after a woman, and then the second she is interested run away?

[Pixie6089]

This is something that drives me crazy. I know it can go the other way too, as in some women do it to guys. So why is it that as soon as something becomes REAL and ATTAINABLE, men decide they don’t want it anymore?

[caring__1]

Though some people only value the chase, what is more common is when fantasy is confronted by reality. In the beginning, we fantasize about the concept of love, seeing what we want to see. In time, the newness wears off, and we see the person as he or she is. This is common with all people, not just men. People often see that confrontation with reality as a slap in the face to them... as if something was intentionally withheld from them... even if it is just us removing our rose colored glasses or horse blinders. Though we were drawn in and energized by the potential we viewed as reality, we have a hard time maintaining the interest when we realize we were only seeing what we wanted to see.

[ManOnFire]

Do men do this? It seems like women are this way 95% more than men, since a lot of women like guys who act uninterested in them, and then once the guy starts showing a lot of interest she gets bored.

However, I think for the very few men who do what you're saying, they haven't had a lot of relationship experience and don't know what to do with a woman after she shows him she's really real about being with him. All he knows is the chase and trying to get a woman's attention, and once he has it he really doesn't know where to go from there.

[_Maya_]

Some people just like the thrill of the chase or pursuit of someone and once that thrill is gone they lose interest. I have never been like that so I'm only guessing that could be the reason. I really can't think of any other things that would cause someone to play games like that unless that is what they are doing... playing childish games. Lucky for me I've never had that done to me and never done it to anyone else.

[236color]

Depends on a couple of things. One, when you express interest, he may perceive that your goals are different. He may want no strings attached sexy time, you may be thinking more long term, or the other way around. Some men might not want to succeed, (this is usually subconscious). In that case, the pursuit is usually less about the woman and more about appearing normal to other men. These guys can be badly damaged goods that shouldn't be in relationships at all. That's less common and harder to discern, but I've seen it.

[Lynx122]

I think when you're really in a relationship it kinda defines you too. Who you're with says something about you so it's like a mirror and some people don't like what they see in the mirror so when it becomes real they get repulsed in a way. That can be one reason at least.

[Lokiion]

Ngl for me personally I just don’t like there personality the more I get to know her or she just not interesting at all if she doesn’t have any type of mystery or anything worth finding out I just get bored I’m sure a lot of people could agree or not I don't know

[Billlewis]

I think it's because we enjoy pursuing a woman who isn't interested in us, and when she becomes interested, she's no longer attractive.

[ProbablyClueless]

The problem usually isn't that things became real or attainable. Sometimes, the girl starts to get pushy, and clingy or otherwise off putting.

[DextroShade]

These men have decided you are recreational use only and you only have yourself to blame. Men don't owe you a relationship.

[Dkc123]

Yeah some men do that... probably coz they're not into something serious...

[Anonymous]

Insecure people do that... they just want validation that they can get girls / guys from that caliber... Just an ego trip

[Anonymous]

Well if you know why women do it then you know why men do it.