How do I know if a guy or boyfriend avoids talking about his feelings or if he is genuinely rarely upset?

[Anonymous]

[provokeesmokee]

Most men aren't taught to emotionally regulate. Many have depression.

Trust your gut. Unless you're autistic or otherwise have difficulty reading emotion, you're probably going to have a feeling when he's upset.

That said, he might not be able to talk about his emotions. If he stonewalls you or denies having emotion, that's a bad sign.

Stonewalling or rejecting that he feels emotion is an indication of an emotionally stunted man, who won't be able to articulate what or how he's feeling, nevermind control or regulate those emotions.

It's unfortunately probably not even entirely his fault - many boys, even today, are raised to deny emotions other than anger. Because "men don't cry" or other toxic masculinity bullshit.

Humans have emotion. Men are human.

If he truly doesn't feel, that's an even worse red flag. Because he's either not managing severe clinical depression, or he's literally a sociopath (unable to feel or recognize emotion).

[Asker]

Wow.. thank you for this thoughtful response💜

[spartan55]

Wow, sociopath or clinical depression? Way to go with the diagnosis Doc!

[provokeesmokee]

@spartan55 looks like you got upset and something there touched a nerve.

It's ok to struggle with depression. 80% of American adults have it in some severity.

Getting help for brain chemical imbalance isn't shameful, bud. Go talk to your doctor.

[spartan55]

Yeah, that's it. I have a brain chemical imbalance because I don't agree with your analysis. So stupid... How about he's been burned before when he was vulnerable with a woman, and he has no interest in doing it again?

[Pyrofox]

Probably silence would be a great symptom.

[Asker]

So if a guy is silent, it can mean he's upset? By silent do you mean, no talking, no texting, short responses, stuffs like that?

[Pyrofox]

Avoiding contact. To put it simply, a man cares a lot if they are going out of their way to give you their daily time and space.

[spartan55]

Why would he talk about his feelings?

[Asker]

Wdym?

[spartan55]

Why would he talk about his feelings? What does he get from that?

[Asker]

Well, if a boyfriend doesn't talk when he's upset, those hidden feelings can erupt or create resentment, don't you think?

[spartan55]

What if he talks and his feelings get dismissed, or used against him later?

[Asker]

He has to feel comfortable and safe with the girl. He can try expressing little by little and see how the girl reacts. If she reacts positively because she loves him, it is a good thing because both want to keep the relationship long term

[spartan55]

What would he be upset about?

[Asker]

I'm not sure, it could be from small things to big things. I'm just talking in general

[In_Trance]

Ask him

[Asker]

Tell me about you? What do u do when you're upset? Do you straight up tell her or pretend you're not upset?

[In_Trance]

If he won't tell you how he feels, that should be a huge red flag. A complete stop.
Not, "let's see if this changes with my love" in the next 6 months