Why does he talk to me like this?

[Anonymous]

I hung up on him because he was shifting blame on me for something that wasn't my fault. My plumbing messed up and i was trying to stop the water from coming out and couldnt answer his call. Later on he said my story doesn't add up. Wth is supposed to add up about my pipe leaking? I said he is being ridiculous and if he is going to treat me like this please leave me alone and I hung up. He said dont you ever miss any of my calls again. Yet he didn't call me for 3 days because he was mad at me. Thats ok tho. Or how he hangs up on me all the time for no reason. At least I am doing it because I dont want to be treated badly and listen to this kind of thing.

And he called back but i didn't answer and then he sent me this. At first his excuse for not calling much was bc his hand was swollen which is true. Then his next excuse is because he didn't feel like being on the phone then his next excuse was because I fight with him a lot (not true at all. He tries to trigger me then blames me for being mad) and now its bc he is going through a lot.

[_Maya_]

Girl... break up with him. Like what are you doing with a guy like that? He knows he can get away with it too because you let him with no consequences. He isn't going to change and must walk around with a red flag draped over his back like a cape. Dump him now and never look back. You deserve better than that. He verbally abuses you. What's next do you think? What happens when he really loses his cool. I hope you do the right thing and get rid of him.

[Asker]

Thank you! I definitely do need to leave. I know it is easier said than done but I believe I will.

[_Maya_]

Much easier said than done. Totally agree but you'll feel relief when you do.

[maceygirl]

He talks to you like this because he knows (or thinks) he can get away with it. Don't tolerate that kind of treatment or it will just continue.

[Asker]

When people say don’t tolerate it or it will continue, what does that mean exactly? Go no contact until they understand you aren’t tolerating that kind of behavior or leave all in all?

[maceygirl]

Yes, the silent treatment is one method to let him know it's not okay. Either that or confront him. If his behavior persists then you may want to consider leaving.

[Asker]

How long do I do the silent treatment for?

[maceygirl]

How often do you normally talk to him? If you talk every day, then perhaps give him the silent treatment for a week.

[Asker]

Yes we do talk every day. So during this week, do i block him or leave him unblocked?

[maceygirl]

Don't block him, just don't respond to his messages or calls.

[Asker]

Sorry one more question! His mom might text me and ask me to respond to him, do I ignore her too?

[maceygirl]

Sure, you can respond to his mom and just tell her that you're not getting along with him. That should be all she needs to know.

[Asker]

He just texted me this “Good morning babe.. I'm sorry for how I acted yesterday Susu! I was really trying to apologize last night and the reason why I called u at night cause I know how stupid I can act when I'm mad and I wasn't trying to call to just talk shit.. I'm going through a lot and I really don't want to talk but I guess I have to talk to u cause ur going to think that I'm talking to another girl if I don't talk to u.. I really do love u and I'm trying to figure this shit out Susu but if u can't hang then I understand.. I love u and I'm sorry”

He has said that before. The sorrys and he shouldn't have acted a certain way. Smh I won't answer him.

[EzraIsShy]

I know this is old, but you speak the truth, maceygirl. I love your comment/opinion :P

[molonski2]

I don't care what the situation is , but if I were you there is absolutely NO WAY I'm hanging around with an idiot who is not only happy to speak to me like that , but foolish enough to put it in writing ( save it , never delete ) .

The guy is a morone.

[molonski2]

moron ( I should say )
I also agree with Maya , what next? He gives you a good slapping and says oh " Sorry Sorry " ?
Coz , thats what will happen , he is a very very aggressive man , no excuses , get rid of the tool , dont give him an " out " make it black/white , he's crossed the line big time.

[Asker]

He has crossed many lines. I am not sure why I stay. I am not sure how to leave mentally. Some days Im like “ok maybe he has deeper issues and thats how he expresses his love or knows how to” other days Im like “wtf!” It is embarrassing actually. I am drained.

[molonski2]

This is exactly how violent women abusers work , they gain control ( he has control of you ) they then isolate ( so you are in need ) , this guy , seriously is extremely dangerous individual , and he is causing you much stress , you must just cut things clean and keep safe , register everything..

[Asker]

Why do people like him do this? Where does this stem from?

[molonski2]

Generally its from Childhood , his father may have done same.

[Asker]

His dad was def a player

[molonski2]

Get out of that situation SusuLove , its not worth it