Guy I'm dating. My mom said she doesn't ever want to see him again. Week later she says that he stared at her, making her uncomfortable. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Dating a guy I met for 3 months. He met my parents love the weekend. 1 week later my mother says she doesn't want to see him ever again because he stared at her, making her uncomfortable. Please help?

[_Maya_]

Uh you are in your 30s and a grown women. You can make your own choices. How did he make her uncomfortable just by staring. Was it like some sort of mean look? If so just tell him to knock it off. Ultimately you are in control of your relationship and decisions surrounding it at your age. I get that it is important to have your boyfriend on your parent's good side. Talk to him and make sure it doesn't happen and then talk to your mom and make sure she understands he didn't mean anything by it.

[Asker]

I don't even know because I wasn't there when this happened. I have been looking for answers as to why he would do it. Some even say it's to be inviting, to let her know she can trust him and talk to him. He was quite shy because it was the first time they met. I haven't noticed it with any other woman. She merely just decided over this he's rubbish and she doesn't want him in the house ever again. I don't know what to do? I don't want to just give up on him. I'm 31 years old.

[_Maya_]

I wouldn't give up on him either. Sounds like a misunderstanding. You need to talk to both of them privately and try to figure out what happened so you can understand why the issue.

[Asker]

And if she doesn't believe his reason for staring?

[HelpfulWoman]

how much do you value your parent's and your relationship with them?
I think if it's decent: remember dates come and go, but your parents are your parents and will be there the whole time.

[Asker]

I value them a lot. Thing is, I don't date to just date. I actually like this guy and I want to get to know him further and vise versa.

[HelpfulWoman]

yes, but your parents, especially your mum, is giving you a therefore big waving flag for you.
Like I said, dates will come and go, even if you're a "serious" dater for long term.
Your parents will last your whole life.

[SnowedIn]

You're an adult. You presumably know the guy. Your dating life has nothing to do with mom.

One story about him doesn't make it true. So perhaps you observe (not actively look for) if he does the staring thing again. Then make a decision if that's something needing to be changed.

Leave your mom out of all this.

[EmmaMary]

Congratulations on winning a Troll of the day award.

[Adaeva]

Stop being delusional.

[In_Trance]

Are you really 30-35?

[Asker]

I'm 31 years old

[In_Trance]

So if you like the guy, don't take him around your Mom. how is that not simple?

[Asker]

Was just trying to do the decent thing. She clearly doesn't want him around her, didn't even try talking to him. And I didn't notice any kind of staring as off yet since we've been dating.