Why do I feel horrible for going no contact?

[Anonymous]

I did it because of verbal and emotional abuse. I feel so bad. He looks like he's struggling on the inside but trying to act tough about it.

[_Maya_]

I assume this is a boyfriend of yours? I would assume that despite the verbal and emotional abuse you once had feelings for the guy. It is hard to let someone go like that. You start to think about the good things even if there were bad things. You also are probably seeing him struggle and feel bad about it. None of us want to see someone suffer. That is just not typical human nature to want that. If he was abusing you that means you did the right thing by cutting him off.

[Anonymous]

Because the silent treatment is cruel to do to someone who loves you. Instead of saying what's wrong you cowarded away from what you thought was "emotional abuse" which is unfair to him for not getting an explanation as to why. You should have told him your leaving and why. But you were too shy to tell him it to his face, so he's going to live the rest of his life with no closure.

[Opinion Owner]

You don't have to stay but you should have been honest about it instead of hiding stuff from him.

[Anonymous]

No right person likes hurting the one they love.

This is always a tough one for me. Because if I know she loves me I can weather darn near ANY amount of hurt. But few women reach that level of trust and intimacy with me. I NEVER deliberately hurt my partner. I can't love someone if I suspect they are deliberately trying to Hurt me.

[boggboss]

Because u still have feelings

[Asker]

Am I wrong for doing this? I feel like I am the abuser now.

[boggboss]

Nope he is not entitled to your attention

[Asker]

How do I know if he will change? Or when to respond?

[boggboss]

U don't know that he will change

[Asker]

So if I still want to be with him, is it pointless to go no contact or do I continue talking to him in hopes he will change or do I scare him a bit and show him I am not going to tolerate that and respond in a week or so?

[boggboss]

Its a flip of the coin at this point

[Asker]

Yeah true

[Throwawaynowknow]

What's keeping you in despite the abuse you mentioned? I'm assuming you have someone you've leaned on for emotional support, or someone willing to just listen and not advise. As far as attention, it sounds like the attention your boyfriend provides is suboptimal.

[jahaims]

How do you know how he is doing if you cut contact?

[Asker]

He messaged me a mean message. And his emotions were fluctuating

[jahaims]

That isn't cutting contact

[spartan55]

How are you seeing him if it's no contact?