Why would a supervisor at work ignore a female employee?

[Anonymous]

He is warm, charming and always likes to meet new people but with me he is always cold and short and never talks to me even though he is supposed to train me. He even talks more with coworkers he doesn’t work with directly than with me. When he sees me he just looks past me or gives me a fake smile or slightly disgusted look. What could be the reason for his behavior? I was always polite to him and his colleagues get along with me. Once I even overheard someone pointing out that he never talks to me

[Sasha0426]

Clearly, it has nothing to do with you being a woman. Because you even explained that he talks to other women at your job.
Unfortunately, managers/supervisors don’t like their employees. I would know because I’ve been down that road. I say just keep doing your job and talk to your supervisor only if it’s work related. I mean, as a supervisor, he should know not to ignore you if it’s something to do with work because you rely on him.
That’s what I do with some of my managers and so it’s so much easier.

[Asker]

Yeah but he likes pretty much anyone else. Even newer hires

[Sasha0426]

Don’t sweat it too much. Like, I said just keep doing your job and all will be fine.

[DubiousIntentions]

Does he think you are ugly or fat or something. You must be leaving some details out. There are many reasons for this but at this point anything is a conjecture on our parts. But you know guys. Even if a girl is a brainiac or has a good personality, it will always be the good-looking girls that get the attention.

[Asker]

He is also nice to women who look worse than me but maybe I’m just ugly in his eyes

[Sasha0426]

@DubiousIntentions I feel like you had some experiences before. Because that was very specific.

[DubiousIntentions]

@Sasha0426 As I said, some details are being left out. They might help explain it. Ot, it could just be a false trolling for effects story.

[Sasha0426]

@DubiousIntentions If that’s what you truly believe, then alrighty then.

[Anonymous]

He just doesn't like you, and doesn't care to talk with you unless it's work related.

Maybe you're lould/obnoxious. Maybe you ask too many personal questions. Maybe you talk about yourself too much. Maybe he just doesn't like your voice. Maybe you smell or have bad breath.

There have been many coworkers I disliked, or didn't care to get know, who would probably claim to not have given me a reason to dislike them. That doesn't mean I didn't have a reason.

[Asker]

I am the exact opposite of what you described and everyone else likes me. For what reasons did you dislike or not care about certain coworkers? That would help me understand

[Opinion Owner]

Well, there clearly has to be a reason for his behavior with you specifically. It doesn't mean it's a good reason, but there is a reason.

There have been quite a few over the years. One girl everyone liked, but I couldn't stand because she was lould and obnoxious. Honesty just thought she was a total brat. Hated every second that I was around her.

There was a guy who most people liked, but I always found him to be extremely condescending. He thought he was more important than he really was, thought the store would fall apart without him, when he wasn't even that good at his job.

Another girl who would ONLY talk about her kids and her boyfriend. I couldn't care less about her kids or her boyfriend.

There were also coworkers who I didn't think would last long, so I just didn't bother getting to know them.

[Asker]

Why did you think they wouldn’t last long?

[Opinion Owner]

Some were young (and a few who weren't that young...) and still living with their parents, didn't even drive, it just seemed like they didn't care because they didn't NEED the job. Their parents took care of them. Real life hadn't hit them yet.

Some people were constantly calling out.

Some people just weren't getting a handle on the job, despite extra training.

[Asker]

Did your assumptions about them not lasting very long turn out to be right?

[Opinion Owner]

Most of the time. They usually either ended up quiting or getting fired.

I was also a supervisor at my last job. If any of these people came up to me and asked for help, I would still help them. And the people who annoyed me the most, I could still be an an adult and tolerate them.
I just didn't feel compelled to be their friend and have side conversations with them. I would only talk about work related things with them.

So as long as your supervisor helps you when you need it and isn't abusing his power just because he doesn't like you, you shouldn't let it bother you.

[Asker]

It still hurts to know that someone considers you unworthy, not talented or not interesting enough while he talks with everyone else

[Opinion Owner]

That's just life. Not everyone is going to like you.

[Asker]

No one likes me

[Opinion Owner]

You started off your original reply to me by saying "everyone likes me" was that a lie?

If that was lie, then I don't know what to tell you. Just do your job. That's what you're getting paid to do.

I was a supervisor. Sometimes I had to write people up, and they never got over and hated my guts. I didn't cry about it.

[Opinion Owner]

And if nobody likes you, then I'm sure there are valid reasons for it, this includes the guy you made this post about.

[Asker]

Did you at least give the employees you supervised some feedback so that they could improve?

[Opinion Owner]

Of course. They were also given several verbal warnings before receiving a write up.

I would always take them in the back, or in the office, away from everyone else to avoid embarrassing them whenever I had to have a talk with them or write them up.

The problem is some people just don't like being told what to do. If they started refusing to do the tasks I gave them/had an attitude with customers because they were mad about the write up, I would just send them home for the day.

[Opinion Owner]

And I gave all of the employees feedback, good and bad. At the end of every shift I would tell them what things they did right and what they needed to work on.

I really wasn't the asshole some people thought I was lol but I refused to get in trouble for them because I was the one held accountable for anything and everything that went wrong during my shift.

Writing them up was a way to cover my own ass. Everything we do was being recorded, If I'm seen on the cameras witnessing someone not doing their work/ someone out of uniform/visibly yelling at a customer and I didn't write them up, guess who would get in trouble for it?

[babycowboy]

maybe he just isn’t interested in having a conversation with you

[Asker]

Yeah but why is he interested in everyone else? I’m not that boring

[Asker]

And he can’t even know if I’m boring since he doesn’t know anything about me

[babycowboy]

you know how sometimes you just don’t feel like getting close to certain people? is not that you hate them or think they are bad you just don’t feel like being around them. that could be the case or could be that you don’t look approachable and friendly to him and he’s respecting whatever space he thinks would make you more comfortable. try to smile and make eye contact and say “good morning” and whatnot first

[HateyouxD]

He doesn't know you like that maybe

[Asker]

He doesn’t even try but strikes up conversations with other coworkers easily

[HateyouxD]

Okay? He doesn't have to do anything with you. You're acting entitled

[Asker]

He is my supervisor? Hello?

[Asker]

He has more to do with me than with anyone else he talks to

[HateyouxD]

He doesn't like you lol it's not cause he likes you

[Asker]

Yeah but for what reason would he dislike me? He is friendly to everyone else

[HateyouxD]

He doesn't need one. He just doesn't know you like that

[Asker]

He doesn’t know other new employees like that either but to them he always talks

[HateyouxD]

I guess he doesn't like your hair. Move on

[Asker]

Why my hair?

[HateyouxD]

He doesn't like how you dress either

[Asker]

Hahaha stop it :D

[genericname85]

so he's nice to men but not to women?

[Asker]

He is nice to men and women except me

[genericname85]

well maybe he doesn't like you or it's in your head. I don't know

[Asker]

Yeah but why does he dislike me? I never gave him a good reason