I admit to my crush how I felt… he said, he didn’t like me like that because it’s not reality…but there’s more…what do I do?

Question

First, I am married going through a separation/divorce and have two middle age children.
My husband and I have not too much in common. We married each other out of comfort and trauma bonding. We both are not happy with each other. It’s time to move on. My husband knows. Very open and honest with feelings.

Background on my crush, him and I were great friends for over 2 years. We share the same likes and dislikes of EVERYTHING, it seemed like. So much in common, we both made each other laugh so much. We could talk about the tough subjects of life, as easily as we could the fun things. He definitely has his flaws that make me roll my eyes and wonder where I stand in his life, maybe even red flags? But…We would talk 3 to 6 hrs a day, during our favorite sport time we have in common. That’s how we got to know each other. He would send me love songs, sing love songs to me…send me clips of romantic scenes from love movies! I thought he was trying to tell me something.

So, I got up the courage and I admitted to him everything, my home life, my feels for him, etc. He totally rejected me. Like, I was crazy for feeling this way because of my marriage, etc. How could this be? The other day, we were both there. My crush wouldn’t even look at me. I said with respect to him, hope all is well and that I am here early. (Why does this even matter?) then his friend hugged me and said, “here is my girlfriend.” Mind you, my crush hasn’t been around like normal. I shot down the guy really fast, and he chuckled with an agreement. But my crush, not even a few minutes later said, he had to leave. Then, hardly even looked at me. I feel terrible and need to let this guy go…but, I don’t know how! What do, I do? I need to let go of my favorite sport! I am not over him…this hurts and it’s hard. I suck in my tears every day! Guys and girls…please tell me your experience with similar things! What do I do? Stop showing up?
thanks, my heart is broken!

Anonymous · Answer

I’m not sure how often you see him but if you can help it, try giving yourself a bit of space from him. No you don’t have to give up your favorite sport or anything you love, really, but I do think taking a break while you recoup would help. Rejection sucks a lot, especially when you felt like the feelings were mutual. Nothing else to do now though but to shake it off, and work on healing. Maybe right now as you’re going through a divorce isn’t the best time to prioritize a new relationship anyway. Even if you two grew apart and are now incompatible, it’s still hard when there’s kids involved and. You should focus on getting through this and making sure you are ok to date.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly I think maybe he may like some things about you. People can find a lot in common, laugh a lot but doesn’t mean they’re into you the same way. Even if he did like you more than friends it’s possible w all the chaos you have going on in your life he may not want to be a part of that. I’ve seen a lot of women who I find attractive, but they have kids, which isn’t something I want. I’m sure you’ve told him a lot about your personal life. So as a friend he may have entertained that, supported you but in reality if you weren’t his friend chances are he wouldn’t have been as supportive. I too have sent videos to girls that were love songs, didn’t mean anything. Just songs that I really like. But I don’t think this man is for you.

spartan55 · Answer

The last part is totally confusing. His friend hugged you and called you his girlfriend? I reread it like three times and still have no idea. What favorite sport? Showing up where?

I admit to my crush how I felt… he said, he didn’t like me like that because it’s not reality…but there’s more…what do I do?

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