Why is he so open with me?

[Anonymous]

This guy I’ve been talking to has been very open about his fears and insecurities with me. He’s also been open about his personal struggles. (Which apparently guys don’t do often at all.) I always feel flattered when he does this because I’ve never had a guy be this open with me before, and this is the first time I’ve been open about my insecurities with a guy. So do guys do this with someone because they want a friend? he’s not looking to date, so why is he being so open about his feelings and wants to talk to me a lot for hours?

[Kiyosato]

You give him a feeling of trust and safety.
Of course I can only talk about stuff I've been through, don't know his experiences. But... we guys rarely get the chance to open up and be 'weak' without being judged one way or the other.
It's only with my best friend that I can open up completely, like he does with you. Because she doesn't judge. She doesn't say I'm weak and not manly or similar bs. She offers a safe space - which is also needed for men.

I can imagine he feels the same trust and safety around you.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for the response! Is it a different feeling when you’re conformable being vulnerable to a women versus your other guy friends?

[Kiyosato]

In my experience yes. Guys tend to be less empathetic - or at least they don't show it as much - than women, when we're around each other. Guess the reason is part society, part upbringing. Getting raised to be 'a tough guy without vulnerabilities' - which is fucked up. It takes a surprising amount of strength to be 'weak' or vulnerable, and most guys can't or won't show any weakness to each other. Even though we know we could with the right guy friends.

[spartan55]

He's comfortable talking to you.