How do I make sure people don’t think I am sweet?

[Anonymous]

Today my coworker caught a virus, and he feels very bad. He was very attentive to me when I had a flu and thought I was dying 😅

I wasn’t really dying, I am just a drama queen I guess 🤣

So, today I got him Tea, C vitamin and yoghurt and he says “I am so sweet and caring.”

I don’t want to be thought to be sweet, I mean if I call him a friend, that’s the least I can do right?

I don’t want to be thought I am too nice or something, I like to be thought I am not nice. Being told I am sweet, makes me feel as if I am a puppy or something. I have often been told I am sweet and it makes me a bit uncomfortable for some reason.

I just told him “That’s what friends are for.”

I also don’t want to leave any space for my attention to be misinterpreted for anything but friendship.

Updates

+1 y

Now he wants to walk with mr again, asked me to wait.. Oh… I think I was too nice

Updates

+1 y

On the way, he told me he remembered my birthday and will prepare a nice gift and a surprise for me.

Now, I need help or advice, this guy has a girlfriend and I don’t really want him to gradually catch feelings for me.

I know I am not going to catch feelings for him. That’s not how it works for me. But I can’t control his feelings.

I feel like girl code obliges me to make sure he won’t catch feelings. He has a girlfriend who loves him!

I like being friends just like I was with my gay Bff

[Sweetsurprize]

Just be honest with him.

And what's wrong with being a nice person? That's too rare these days anyway. Sweet/nice is babsically the same thing, but maybe being sweet is a bit more. I don't know. It's certainly better than being thought of as a mean jerk or an asshole. Don't know why you'd be proud to be known with that reputation unless there was something mentally wrong with you.

[Asker]

I don’t want to be thought I am bad either. It’s just I have often been complimented I am sweet and it makes me feel as if people think I am mother Theresa or something

[Guido]

What you did was a nice gesture and that is considered sweet. There is nothing wrong with that and it's actually a nice quality that men like in any woman not just ones they are romantically interested in.

I worked in a office full of women and I was nice and chatted with all of them, married or single. They were also very nice to me and it made for a nice work environment. I was married and non of them thought anything different or wanting anything more.

Your friend and coworker has a girlfriend but he enjoys your company. Don't read more into it then there is. Enjoy a nice friendly work environment. Those are hard to find.

[Billlewis]

You can always use laughter to remind everyone that you're not the nice, sweet damsel that they may think you are. Whenever someone makes a mistake or trips over something, just giggle at their ineptitude.

[Asker]

Haha but I also don’t laugh at other people’s mistakes, I find those mistakes cute usually

[DhdbrbSfia]

Try to say no in every thing and for everyone

[BigDog1989]

SO that she becomes a bitch. What happens if her boss asks her to do something, and she says no to the boss?

[exitseven]

Don't be so nice to people. Act like a jerk and soon nobody will ever think you are sweet.
This was not a bad thing. You did something nice for a friend. Yes, he might read more into it but you were just being you.

[Asker]

I can act bad when someone acts bad towards me first, I can stand up to myself well enough but when people are nice, how can I act like a jerk to them

[exitseven]

Okay- I was sort of having a little sport with you. Sorry about that. The truth is that you are who you are. I bet it would never occur to you to be a jerk to someone just because you can.
People are going to think you are nice of sweet or whatever because that is who you are. Just because you are nice to someone does not mean you want to be in a relationship with them.

[Shy_Steve]

If you don't want to be thought of as "Sweet" then don't do things like getting People Tea, C vitamin and yoghurt, Just because they are Friends.

[Asker]

Then what should I do, when someone has been very nice and attentive to me when I had a fly, should I just not care when he feels the same?

[Asker]

*flu

[Shy_Steve]

Just say to him "Thankyou for being so nice when i had the Flu", That's all you should do.

[rigmarole]

You definitely are a drama queen. He's just looking for a way to pay you back. He works for a living... When people give him things for free, he feels he needs to pay it back.

[Sparkie460]

You could have said that you were just returning the jester from when he brought you stuff when you were sick.
A nice person will always be seen as nice. If you don't want people to see you as nice, you need to put on your bitch act.

[Miristheiss]

A woman being "sweet" is a good thing. Men like sweet, it is very feminine.

Unless acting all masculine and having guys have zero attraction to you and for them to view you as a dude is what you are going for.

[Drewtate]

https://youtu.be/qvuyYj5ROmk?si=3GjSljyZLwgE4Tyt

[Fireguy17]

try swearing like a longshoreman.
About every 2nd to 3rd word work in an F bomb or two.
That should help.

[Summeroflove]

Being sweet isn’t a bad thing. Just be a horrible person and people won’t think your sweet.

[DryGermanGuy]

Did you not post a question about wanting to stop overthinking? You should start here.

[BigDog1989]

You do things for him but then don't want to be called nice and sweet?

Are you dumb?

Also, all girls are drama queens. I GUARAN-DAMN-TEE-YOU

[justabuddy]

Why not? Always be nice until the situation calls for not being nice

[Andres77]

Your professional and polite and they are confusing your signals because you’re also awesome and they don’t want to miss a chance with you

[spartan55]

Why you want to be regarded as 'not nice' ?

[Asker]

Makes me feel a but uncomfortable.

[spartan55]

Is it the word itself?

[Asker]

Not sure…

Makes me feel like I am too kind or something, which I am not and makes me feel uncomfortable someone even thinks that.

I just showed my gratitude and appreciation for him being kind to me when I needed it.

[spartan55]

That's not being overly sweet or whatever, just good manners.