He’s telling me to sleep with other people, why?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I have reconnected again. He wants to “talk”. But what I find very strange is that he keeps telling me to have “fun” with other guys to get experience etc or to just sleep with them. Or he will say I should date others even though I’m talking to him. I keep saying no but he keeps bringing it up which I find very weird. He asked if I send nudes to the guys I have on Snapchat but they are just my friends that I’ve known for years and I’d never do that. When I was with him, he use to get jealous that I had male friends so why does it keep saying?

[Pegases]

Lol I probably shouldn't be giving away this game but oh well. I test women like this to see how committed they are to me. These days most men know how easy it is for women to talk to multiple guys at once. From your DMs to the amount of men that approach you, it's never been easier for women that wanted to explore their options to do so. Thus, we know how tough it will be to find loyal women. So, we test for it, in the same way women unconsciously test us. It's the only way in some cases that we'll know if we can take you seriously.

[Asker]

I would say it’s either for this reason or for the reason Maya shared. Maybe only time will tell. For a guy who got jealous that I had a male family friend, I’d find it hard to believe he’d want me to actually date others while talking to him. So I think either it’s a test to see where my morals stand or maybe he could be seeing someone and is suggesting I do the same but only time will show me that. I’ve made it very clearly I don’t want to have fun with other guys because it’s not my preference/nature, I prefer just one person

[Pegases]

Fair enough. I will just say that lots if women say they prefer monogamy not because they actually do, but because of the societal shame that comes with saying you don't. So a man with experience isn't going to take your words for it, he's going to want to see that your words align with your actions.

[smilelots]

in my opinion you do what you want to and only what you want to do.. I would not get back with him if i was in your shoes , but thats just me.. keep your mind yours and one day you will find a good person to spend your life with that only wants you.

[_Maya_]

Either he has a kink or fetish about you sleeping with other dudes or he is saying that because he wants to or actually is sleeping with other girls. It might be a tactic to make himself feel better that he is doing it. How long ago was the breakup? If it was recent this might be his justification that he moved on so quickly. I have some questions though. Why does he care? Why are you even talking to your ex? I understand people end things on good terms sometimes but what business is it of his who you are jumping in bed with?

[Asker]

About three months. That’s why I find it weird, when we weee together he was very possessive and controlling so I find it extremely weird that he’d suggest I date others. But I don’t like the way he always brings up my male friends on Snapchat. He said the other day “you cry on the phone to me but you have lots of guys on Snapchat”. Completely untrue I have male friends I’ve known for years through work or university. I know, I don’t know why he would want to talk to me but suggest I date other guys?

[Asker]

Also I forgot to add when I asked him back, if he wanted to see other girls (since he keeps telling me) he tells me to let it go?

[_Maya_]

I think the second theory I had is correct. He has been fucking around and this is his way of feeling better about it and justifying it. Three months is not that long and you have no clue if he was in some girl's coochie week two of breakup. Sorry to be explicit but it is true. I think he is saying what he is saying because it makes him feel better about his own actions. Does that make sense to you at all?

[Asker]

Yeah it does make sense. Thank you

[_Maya_]

You're welcome girl. 💜

[RedInnocent68]

Second theory 🤔😢

[BoopBoopBeep]

I second @_maya_ on this one. He's got something else on the side.

[_Maya_]

Thank you for the most helpful opinion!

[Asker]

You are welcome!

[laurieluvsit]

Because he has decided that is what he wants to do and just have you as a side dish.

Good luck with that one if you are hoping to convert this back into a committed relationship.

There are a lot of good guys out there wanting to be with someone just like you that will treat you like the queen you are. Spend time communicating with them instead of this looser.

Sorry, but sometimes we need people to be frank with us.

Good luck

[jahaims]

He probably cheated and or is hooking up with others rn. He wants to keep you as an option if he changes his mind.

[Iron_Man]

What’s that guys problem? You guys are completely over when he talks like that. horrible advice

[AmeerX]

He is cheating on you and wants you to do same so he can justify his cheating

[Nifrayu]

It just sounds like he has a kink. I'm not sure what else it could be.

[swettannie]

he's a cuck, simple as that

[lightbulb27]

talk to your therapist, gonna need one.

[Luckycharms12]

He sounds like he is a cuck