I care about money in men because I care about my care, is this a bad thing?

Question

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

You care about your care, and that’s why you want your man to have money?

That implies that if your man didn’t have money, you wouldn’t be taken care of.

Which means you aren’t making your own income.

But if you’re mentally and physically capable to earning your own money, then it would mean you aren’t making your own income simply because you don’t feel like it.

So, whoever you’re with will need to work extra hard to make enough income to support the both of you.

If you want that kind of arrangement, you’ll need to feel worth it to the guy.

If you’re going the trad wife route, then you’d need to be good trad wife material.

If you’re going the sugar baby route, then you’d need to be exceptionally pretty and be enjoyable company to have around.

Either way, you’d need to pull your weight in one way or another, even if it’s not financial.

Otherwise, you’d just be freeloading, and nobody will want to put up with that.

Now for your question, is it bad thing that you want a man to take care of all your expenses?

As long as you understand that you’d need to pull your weight in other ways (e. g. taking care of domestic duties and/or being an enjoyable companion) and you’re upfront about that and the arrangement makes the both of you happy, then that’s fine.

When it becomes a problem is you’re acting entitled to your man’s money before establishing consensual expectations. (Is he 100% onboard with taking care of all your expenses?) And it’ll also be a problem if you’re treating your man like an ATM. Any self-respecting man will decline or exit that arrangement, unless you’re contributing in other ways — which would either be a breadwinner/housewife dynamic or a client/service relationship.

Nik1hil · Accepted Answer

It's a good thing, you are looking for a stable man, financially capable of providing for you.

Every women should look for it, otherwise women end up sleeping with Losers and abusers who will Beat them and also cannot support her if she ends up getting pregnant!.. These kind of women are dumb..

Gold diggers are women who would date super rich men and only sleep with them if they buy her expensive stuff.. Gold-Diggers are basically high class Hooker and prostitute they don't charge in Cash instead they charge in Stuff.. But her a car, expensive Jewellery, expensive Around the globe Vacation etc..

Your choice is very nice and healthy, you have standards to not pick a total loser, and want him to have his Shit together and have some money on the side!..

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Accepted Answer

I’ll tell you something not many women know…

Expecting a man to always care for you and especially take care of you financially, will ruin you…

One day you’ll be left with a man who can “buy” a younger woman the same way he once “bought” your love. And you’ll be left wondering what to do because noone taught you how to live without a man caring for you.

Take care of yourself, my girl.

And then the whole world will take care of you, once you’ve got yourself.

Paris13 · Accepted Answer

In this Day In Age with Money Hard to Get, No One Can Blame you. lolxxoo

Adventurer23 · Answer

"I'm not a gold digger, I just want my man to be rich because I buy lipstick all the time." Sooooooo, you want him to pay for it? Why don't you pay for it yourself like a big girl? I assume you're capable, no? It's interesting you say you want a rich man, and that money is important to you, yet you didn't mention a single thing about earning your own wealth and assuring/securing that for yourself as a priority. Regardless of your intentions, that comes off as pretty gold digger-y to me. As a guy, that's a huge red flag.

But here's an important life lesson: don't rely on the financial security of others to financially secure yourself. If you want a comfortable life, assure that for yourself through your own work and not through the work of someone else. What happens if the relationship goes south? Or he finds another woman and you wind up on the street with nothing, with no skills to support or even re-create the life you had? You have earn those things for yourself first so you guarantee your own security and your own future.

But bottom line: I'd rather have a contributor, not a dependent that needs lipstick.

blueonblack22 · Answer

There was a time in history where women completely depended on men to protect and provide for them. The female dating judgment of wanting a man who has resources is biological. It’s hard wired from evolution.

But this is something modern feminism is in constant denial about. So men are constantly be given conflicting messages on what women do and don’t want it comes to dating and how to treat women. Constantly getting mixed messages.

But as long as this subconscious (or in your case fully conscious) desire to date men with more money exists then women will NEVER be truly equal to men. You can’t have the best of both worlds. You can’t deny facts about gender differences and just pretend the hypocrisies go away.

I don’t see women (in general) being able to change their nature over night. But I’m fed up the hypocrisy by how feminists want to blame men for “controlling” women via “patriarchy” when there are large swathes of women who want to be figuratively bought in the first place. It is not the man’s fault women think this way.

Also for you feminists out there who say “well I am not like that. I don’t need a man to provide for me”. Well good for you. I believe you. But quit acting you are speaking on behalf of all women with your viewpoints and ideologies. You’re not.

Buzzybee1990 · Answer

No! My mom always told me that I shouldn't care about how much money a guy has because all you need is love. Yikes! Was that bad advice or what? Lol

At 15, I was on my own. By 17, I was with a man who couldn't hold a job. Boy! Did we struggle. He was abusive, and I thought love could change him and that we could build a life and grow together. That was a mistake.

Marriage and building a life together require two people who can contribute to the well-being of the whole group.

Requiring that a man have a career and knows how to be responsible with his money should be a basic requirement for a man you want to be serious with.

However, if you require this because you don't want to work and expect him to take care of you or waste his money on nice things for you because you can't get whatever you want yourself is not ok. That is using someone, and that's not "self care". If you aren't contributing as much as he is in one or more ways, and doing your best financially and bringing at least minimum wage in and trying to do better, but expect him to have good money then you're just seeking out of what your league. You can't expect someone to not only have what you can't get, and then give it to you for some arbitrary reason like hotness, beauty, youth, or love. That's silly.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

If you buy so much lipstick that you need a person who is rich to support it, you better bring a WHOLE lot to the table, or he's just going to buy a third as much for two women, save money and get twice the bang for the buck.

You also have to look at the caliber of man who would do that. I'm not spending $500/month on lipstick. Ever. I've plenty of money to do so, but I wouldn't, which is how I got to "plenty." If the man is willing to do that but has to rack up credit card debt to do so, eventually the curtains get pulled back and there's nothing to back that up, then where are you? Other than 5-10-15 years older and still not having any lipstick.

WillowofFeathers · Answer

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you expecting your man to be rich. I understand your point about you wanting a comfortable life and be taken care of. I want the same things.
But I don’t think I would be able to trust another person so much that my comfort would be depending on their financial situation. It would definitely be nice to have someone who had a good income but rather than depending on another one I would rather have a good income myself. Then I would be able to relax because I would know that my comfortable life wouldn’t disappear. And I would be able to relax in my relationship.

But don’t get me wrong. I completely understand your opinion and think you should search for nothing less.

sunflower00 · Answer

No it’s not bad, we all want to feel stable. What I don’t understand is the thing you said about lipstick…

Like I understand if it’s for security and so you can afford to have a home and feed yourself and your family and be comfortable but I could just never feel comfortable expecting my partner to buy me things like lipstick, etc. and not earning my own money for it. Fair enough if it’s a gift for a birthday or Christmas but otherwise I would feel uncomfortable with someone else buying me things if I contributed nothing in terms of money

DaveJord · Answer

No it not a bad thing. At 19 your very young, but you know on some level that there are things you won't out of life.

So if you want those things, you should never compromise in those things ar your age.

Now I am 47, so I have accomplished a lot of things for myself through my life. So for someone like me, I don't put as much on it as someone your age should.

I would be a millionaire right now if I put more importance on this at 19. I was married buy age of 20... I divorced at 42. I carried this person for 22 years. At the time of divorce our total assets were 800k, today at 47, it would have been 1.2 million.

Finchie40 · Answer

Money shouldn’t be the only thing you care about in men, you should be perfectly capable of taking care of yourself first , if you depend on someone else to take care of you , then sadly you only care about yourself , A relationship only survives when 2 people choose each other and work together as a team , Having each other’s back through the good times and bad times , Basically if
Your partner lost their job are you going to trade him on for Someone else? Would You want Your partner to trade you in if you lost your job? So a relationship needs to go both ways or the relationship will not survive , it’s just a waste of time , if you can not remove selfishness for each other. Your partner should be your team mate by you both working together as a team.

Flatmanlewis · Answer

To me this is the equivalent of a man saying he cares mostly about a woman’s looks. Are they (or you) wrong? No. Not really. It also means you need to bring something to the table on par with whatever is is you’re wanting in life. It would be foolish to think that a man who makes substantial amounts of money is willing to settle for a woman that does not deliver whatever it is he values in a partner in life. The trick for you will be finding a man who values whatever you can deliver and if it’s ONLY looks then you can easily be replaced by a younger and prettier version one day.

Shayyyy1 · Answer

It's not, it's how women are we choose mates that offer the most security and stability but u shouldn't depend on them in 2023. Men are not as masculine and don't care about protecting and if they have something over you they will exploit it and use it against you.

lightbulb27 · Answer

no, that's fairly normal. Is it money though or self esteem and success? extreems are bad. It can be bad.

having some means to live and enjoy life makes sense. In fact, I'd say you were a religious or spiritual person if you said otherwise.

I don't hear religious or spiritual angle. some people prioritize others... even over themselves, or do so at times. You are selfish. That is how this generation was raised.

That is whom you are and your choice, I won't fault you for it.

I'd suggest going to church to learn some wisdom. Or read books of wisdom to get some different angles. The book of ecclesiastes was written by a rich man... read that.

RavVid · Answer

Some seem to think this is gold digging but in my book it isn't if you give back what he considers value.

Quite simply my $'s aren't the same as another persons $'s. I might date a broke waitress because she is loving, caring and honest which is of great value to me. I would probably engineer it so she paid for something she could afford and I paid for more expensive dates.

If you don't give value back then it is gold digging and a bad thing. What you give back doesn't have to be something that is valued in $'s. Men say all the time they don't care what a girl earns and we mean it.

Screenwriter · Answer

My recommendation is that you get these things for yourself, first. And if at some later time you meet someone who can help you get these things also, that's fine. But to depend on a man to support you and not have an independent source of money is never a good thing.

It may mean that someday when you want to leave, you won't be able to afford to and will be stuck.

Meropatrick · Answer

Thats normal. Men date women for beauty and youth and women date men for money and resources. Its how its always been since the dawn of time. Thats why a man loses his respect if he asks a woman for money. And women get cheated on when they lose their youth and beauty. Like Marylin monroe said"men grow cold as women grow old"

jshm2 · Answer

Yes, as it's fucking stupid thinking, and retarded logic. Work to make your own, and get others to work towards your goal as well. That way you get what you want, and they what they want.

You're more a parasite than a gold digger, otherwise.

Sonorous · Answer

Yeah I'm petty sure everybody wants to be rich & I'm sure everyone wants people around them to be rich. Nothing abnormal. It is especially in female nature to be hypergamous in this way.

Anonymous · Answer

Every woman cares about money. Some move on from it and decide its not the most important thing.

No man thinks about money. We care about beauty. And some men move on from beauty and realize it's not the most important thing.

But hey, we have our base instincts. Men for beauty and women for resources.

But we all can deviate from our nature and be rational instead.

ZackBan · Answer

Can't fault you for not wanting to date a broke guy. But taking his money for granted is a gold digger trait

sheikalana · Answer

If you care about your care why don't you take care of yourself first before expecting someone to care for you?

AmeerX · Answer

Even though you want to sound good. You should understand while you're still young dear girl. If you run after a comfortable life you are never getting it.

Embrace hardship as your best friend. Don't be a complaining girl or you will be alone or in a very turbulent relationship. Personally I am attracted to women who have a sensitive yet brave side to them. Being able to face hardship and still smile like she is a beauty. I guess femme fatale sort of girl is one for me.

HitsyHonesty · Answer

The question itself isn't bad, if you're planning on being a house wife!

If you work yourself already, you should be able to manage yourself. The lipstick thing is bad, because you want a man for that. You say it there. That sounds like a lipstick addiction! I have my own addictions, but wanting a man to use him to supply yourself with guilty pleasures is kinda bad!

molonski2 · Answer

NO , you should care and you should care a lot , its vital , just dont miss the " upwardly mobile " one who might be about to break out , its vital to care about money , but dont just focus on men , also focus on making some yourself.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

Those who take life to the extremes will wake up when it's too late. Best Wishes :) Trust me if he has a lot of money for you, believe me he will want a lot of something in return.

jojoiwiwbwjo · Answer

It is logical. But you may need to consider if this is the priority in the longterm. Poor people can get rich but bad people dont succeed as well in becoming good.

Likes2drive · Answer

You could actually get a job and not rely on a man because what if leaves you for someone else like you that is better later on? You would be helpless to support yourself. You don’t need a rich man for that anyway

LīgaLakstīgala · Answer

Look, it is not a bad thing at all. Caring about your man's income is not wrong just the way caring about your man's appearance is not wrong. In fact, money is probably the most attractive quality for most women even though they don't admit. It shows that the man is smart and has providing qualities.

Constatine · Answer

You think money is important.. You want a good life?  The dear... Get your self a job.. A good one.. Men are not on this world to pay for your lipstick.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Yes,  money is  also  important  because you want a comfortable life.

Jazzy54 · Answer

Don’t rely on a man like that. You’re still quite young. Start working for the things you need and want.

cnj421 · Answer

Nope. I care about it too. I’ve been supporting myself my entire adult life and not that I don’t want to financially contribute. But ya girl is tired. And I just want to be a woman. Take care of the people I love.

Vegasrunner · Answer

No you're a pretty standard woman as all women want these things however they are reluctant to admit it publicly because of the whole good person theory.

Avicenna · Answer

If it's taken to extremes and/or is exploitative, it's a very bad thing.

krin_m · Answer

I'm sure you can afford to buy whatever lipstick you want. Although, if you want to be in a relationship with a guy who can buy you things (including lipstick), you are fully entitled to your position without being judged,

HippoDino · Answer

Money is very important, however if you make less money than guys you don't think have enough, then maybe you need to focus on your own income first before being picky about what guys make.

glennos89 · Answer

I would never ever date a girl who is obsessed with money! I'm not some sort of cashmachine you know!!!

Not to be mean... but the way you describe it sounds to me like you are only thinking about yourself 🥶

IchLiebeDieNacht · Answer

kommt drauf an wieviel Geld du meinst. Ich denke Geld kann das Leben wirklich erfüllter machen, mir war Geld nie wichtig aber seit 7 Jahren verdiene ich ganz gut und habe dadurch auch mehr Lebensqualität. Von daher und für die gemeinsame Fürsorge ist das wichtig... Liebe und Verständnis, gegenseitige Achtsamkeit sind mir wichtiger... oder nicht? ☆ होम

LiamJHayden · Answer

It is better to make your own money and buy your own things so that you are not left desolate if the guy leaves.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Your care isn’t as important as you think  I know many who have everything they want and nothing they need

SUMAIREBRAHIM · Answer

No it nothing bad or wrong in that  Your logical i think it's just basic biology that women in general go for guys or attracted to guys who can protect and provide

Anonymous · Answer

its 330 am and finally im tiired and nodding off. thank christ.
So you're selfish and is that a bad thing?
not for me but im not a chick.
chicks pretend not to be selfish by royal decree,
what would happen to society if all of a sudden chicks were honest.
Chaos on the FN SSTREETSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

CaliAttorneyGuy · Answer

Men are supposed to provide. It's biology/gender roles/human nature. The problem is a lot of modern women aren't worth it for men anymore. I'm not saying all women aren't worth it, but a lot aren't.

Chewy______ · Answer

I don't know many 19 year old guys that have more than ten dollars in their pocket. You might be out of luck.

strateguy632 · Answer

i think that is like greed and greed is bad. find a lover don't turn down a poor lover.

msc545 · Answer

Earn your own money and take care of yourself like an adult.

Miristheiss · Answer

Unless you are with child... why is his money your money? Support yourself

dragoblack · Answer

It is a bad thing. It shows you see men's money as yours, when it is not. If you want nice things, you work and save for it. Gifts from men are a romantic gesture and should not be thought of as mandatory or "just how it is".

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Are you burying yourself in lipstick? I’m picturing someone diving into a ball pit of lipstick tubes.

Samantha36 · Answer

Rule no1... be self sufficient so u can look after yourself.

abbyjgriffin98 · Answer

Lol, if you want lipstick then get a job and buy some lipstick.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Actually you are a gold digger. Pay for your own stuff.

Surely · Answer

Doesn’t matter how you spin what you just said. It still spells GOLD DIGGER!

Marklaw12 · Answer

Not at all.  You're allowed to have your preference. However, if that man with the money says he wants you do a couple of things. You should be willing you to say Yes Sir

jojoisaskingyou · Answer

You say you always buy lipstick. So how do you buy it for yourself when you're not in a relationship?

LitPrince · Answer

It's not a bad thing it's just like we all care about physical attractiveness in romantic relationship

Solo3k · Answer

No it's not. I myself aspire to be the provider for the love of my life so long that she cares for the house and kids

Anonymous · Answer

If nothing else, it's certainly bad English!

Anonymous · Answer

The phrase "gold digger" alert came in my mind. Whenever I see and read such things. 😔

RingOfFire · Answer

You need a rich guy because you like to buy lipstick? Holy COW! How much lipstick do you actually use? 😱

whirled_up_girl · Answer

Lol, you won't win this debate on here. If you depend on a man for money some will call you a gold digger but if you reject expecting a man to provide for you others will call you a "modern woman".

I care about money in men because I care about my care, is this a bad thing?

Most Helpful Opinions

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What Girls & Guys Said

Those who take life to the extremes will wake up when it's too late. Best Wishes :) Trust me if he has a lot of money for you, believe me he will want a lot of something in return.

Is it wrong I only like men for their money?

I care about money in men because I care about my care, is this a bad thing?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Those who take life to the extremes will wake up when it's too late. Best Wishes :) Trust me if he has a lot of money for you, believe me he will want a lot of something in return.

Is it wrong I only like men for their money?

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