I honestly don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. You know what you want and express this to men. They know what they’re getting into. If both parties needs are met I don’t see the issue.
And I’m sure you’re not dating these men JUST for their money.. there’s some attraction in addition to the money and what he can provide there’s nothing wrong with wanting a man to be at a certain income level. Why not set your standards high, and get the whole package you really want.
I believe it isn’t very smart to solely base a relationship off love, love doesn’t pay the bills. This may sound horrible, but nowadays a woman has so much on her plate and the list is just increasing while many men have it easy and have to solely worry about work. I know this isn’t the case 100% of the time but that’s how I see it.
I believe a woman should be nurtured and supported as well as support the man but in different ways. Men should be the provider and security and the woman provides the nurturing tenderness.
With that being said every person has their own preferences and relationship dynamics.. that’s just how I think it should be. Lol and why do people care if you’re a gold digger, not saying you are but these men are going along with it so if they’re not complaining you’re good. 😉
I don't think only dating a financially stable guys can be called "liking men for their money". Because when you say "liking men for their money" , it means that the only reason why you're going out with him is because you want to USE him for his money. In other words, you are only with you because you want to marry his money rather than him. I think that its a very valid concern for poor women when they seek mates. Because she cannot sufficiently provide for herself, it is important that she seek someone who can help her out with that. For more educated women, this might not be the case. And if you do date men simply for a BETTER LIFE, there's nothing wrong with that if that makes you happy. But when you marry money, you are also deliberately making a decision that you will never need TRUE LOVE in your life. This is the reality of when you're stuck in a loveless marriage where you're only with him for cash. Its not a real marriage. And if he's a smart guy, it is likely that he will know prior to marriage. But a guy who marries a gold digger DOESN'T truly love his wife anyways. Typically these types of marriages are purely transaction where the woman is brought as a trophy wife to boost his social status and provide sex.
If you're straight up with your boyfriends about it, then it isn't wrong, the word you're looking for isn't golddigger though. That's when you get married. You're a sugar baby who looks for sugar daddies. No offense but it's basically a step up from prostitution in that it's a fetish more so than a concious decision, or rather lack of decision. There are specific websites for dating sugar daddies and sugar mommas to support you. Seeking. com is one of them, for women there are many others, but most of them outside of that one you would basically be a callgirl.
You're 21 now, so realistically with that attitude you have about 3-5 years to be a mistress/girl on call to rich men, skip the 60k and move up to 250 or higher and get them to get you an apartment. When that 3 years or so is up you need to start looking into marriage or working on your body hard and staying drug and disease free.
Option 2 is use men for their money and get a degree, get a good job, and then flip it around, you get what you want and put up with zero shit.
Do whatever you want, but understand your youth and looks are directly related to your ability to sugar baby, if you don't get a high paying job or save a shitload of money, that lifestyle only lasts as long as your looks do.
Romantic relationships are predicated upon mutually superficial attraction. Men go by looks just as women go by looks, status and wealth. Even though the dating game is ludicrously lopsided in favor of women, the fundamental criteria for attraction that each gender goes by is still equally superficial. So I wouldn't say you're wrong for your dating preferences, but don't get mad if a guy rejects you, or leaves you, due to your breast size or something like that. And don't forget that the high status males you're attracted to have lots options to pick from a variety of women, which includes women more attractive than yourself.
Look, I think it's good fun to entertain the idea of sex and relationships, but to take it seriously - as so many people seem to do - is a grave mistake since it's not built upon a good bedrock. Sex and romantic relationships are inextricably bound to superficiality and you can't completely remove that superficiality without the relationship becoming a pure platonic friendship.
Opinion
194Opinion
Yes. It is wrong.
You are a human, not a piece of meat.
Be worth loving, not money. Be better.
He uses you for your body but don't you also use him for his body or are you some sort of asexual person 🤔?
Can I ask you a question
Victoria Justice... holy shit.
@Jennifer_32 loll wdym? 😳
@curiousguy1213 ask it here
Could you be in a loyal relationship with a guy that has a average penis
@curiousguy1213 *facepalm*
Ugh ofc, à penis question.
Anyways the answer is yes duh.
Not all men are trying to use women for their bodies. Some men, like myself, are seeking substance past sex in a relationship. Your views align with a sugar baby and sugar daddy arrangement. If you seek that dynamic, than sure. That’s fine as both parties are willingly participating. When you view all men as wallets is when your views become irrational, distorted, and misguided.
I inherited money that has made me a multi-millionaire at the age of 26. It was really difficult to date and seek a relationship that isn’t shallow in its roots after I came up on this money.
Women with your values are extremely unattractive to me. Loyalty is what separates flings from marriage material. Selflessness and loyalty are the most attractive traits a woman can have. If I lost all of my assets, I know my girl would still be there for me. Thick and thin she’s still there. She doesn’t let me pay for her things, and isn’t even in the six figure bracket. She selflessly gives and gives. She appreciates me for me, and not just my assets.
So you can do you, but men can really pick up on these things, so don’t expect to find any meaningful relationship until you change your views on men as a whole.
You got yourself a reputation that you need to keep. I personally see it as you so nicely describe it. Since you agree with yourself on the term, you are certainly not expecting others to have a different opinion, right?
Now, your approach is very nice but I wonder how you are going to handle the situation once you reach a certain age and all your artificial enhancements and natural beauty cease to have any effects on guys' wallets and that you find yourself on the streets.
Do you really think that this type of superficial character will support you past the age of 30?
It is not because guys get you a nice candlelight dinner in a fancy restaurant at age 21 that they will also fall into the trap when you are older and you really need someone to support you financially because you don't know the signification of the sentence "working for a living".
Question: If a your boyfriend is only using you for your body, then why in blazes is he your boyfriend? Aren't you more than your body? Aren't you a person with a mind? Don't you deserve someone who will care about you as a person?
Similarly, as a guy, I'm more than my money. I don't want to feel that I have to "buy" a woman. That's kind of demeaning to me. I think you have a totally wrong slant on relationships. This isn't a business relationship! If it is, then maybe you should be a professional!
No, those are called parameters, nothing wrong with that expectation and 60k isn't all that much anymore... tears:( If you discard him because he drops below that for some reason (job loss, goes back to school), then yes... there's something up with your insecurity. I've seen that woman, and it ended in divorce when he couldn't pick himself up quickly and became depressed. Sad... but happens, thus the expectation guys be resilient.
and them using your body is wrong too, if that's all it is. I never walked around with that attitude... where does that come from? you weren't born thinking that. Last time I checked, you were both human beings. It would be lovely if respect, honor, love were part of the picture.
I smell a broken family and the traumas that came from that.
I think the real flaw here is your view on money rather than the relationship. There's a lot more to life than earning $$$!
My last relationship ended because I was too focused on building my business and earning money rather than being happy. Since then I sold that business and have started new businesses that allow me to have lots of spare time so I can travel, take up new hobbies, and spend time with friends and family.
Find someone who can afford you time, it's is much more valuable than money!
I would say you need to step back and regain perspective on your life outlook. The world is not and does not have to be the way you perceive it right now. Men don't use women for just their bodies. Women find pride in independence that they willing compromise to share and enjoy with their partner. I could go on, but maybe you should try dating differently, try a different lifestyle. You may learn something about yourself.
And side note, 60k is average, if you want the lifestyle you seek you should be aiming for a 100k sales rep, real estate investor or something.
That is what considered a gold digger is, wouldn't ever expect my girlfriend to pay my phone bill or groceries therefore she wouldn't expect me to do the same for her.
There is a certain line I guess such that woman will judge a man to the degree that they can provide for them but that just natural instinct. you shouldn't care how many figures your man makes or expect him to pay for your things, that just says to me your not worth any of my time if I met a woman like yourself.
This comes off salty but I'm generally just speaking what's on my mind :)
I'm just gonna wait for the day where your man leaves you and you're shit out of luck because you have bills, no one to pay for them and you didn't bother doing anything with your life for you to be able to stand on your own two feet and take care of yourself. Have fun.
God, it's sad.
"My boyfriend is just using me, but it's okay, I'm just using him too."
That's fucking sad. Listen to yourself.
You know goddamned well that's not what love is, that's why you're asking this question in the first place.
It's not necessarily wrong, but it's not a great idea to base your relationship entirely on those things. At least long-term. Especially not for you as a woman.
Him? There are always young women looking for older men with money today. As long as he keeps earning he's all good.
You? It depends on how long you have your youthful good looks. If it's based on the superficial money in exchange for sex with a hot young girl for him, as others have said you're not gonna be a hot young girl forever.
There is a difference in expecting him to be paying for some things - and liking him ONLY for money.
I don't consider it unusual that a woman expects to be subsidised - in the end, once children are there, she does work at home which is unpaid, the husband is free to work.
Now, if you like the money MORE than the man that will likely lead to alienation - there is a level of friendliness/partnership and intimacy required to feel sane (and good about your self/accepted - that validation thing we call unconditional love)
That all said, I don't know that anyone should be passing a judgement without really knowing the details (and then some - we sometimes judge ourselves too harshly for benign things)
I'll add a bit of psycho-babble here (which is not well known at all, so consider it my copyright when it goes viral :-)
For people who generally need little from their partner's emotions, there are two things:
- They are probably, in their emotional constitution, already 'married' to another figure (dad, uncle, brother - whoever is the provider of opinion-authority, and to some extent safety). If those are older generation people, you do run a risk of losing that (key) influence (to your relationship) - so watch out for those changes
- For those who put money above the other person - in the long run, that's a recipe for either crime (because you don't care enough for them), or, when extreme, for cheating and grabbing money in a divorce (because someone else will become interesting at some point). Nobody likes to think about this, but it is there.
Again, if you do care but like your comforts as well, that is an entirely different (and possibly quite enjoyable, for both sides) context.
It is. You realize men are people too right? They have feelings as well.
It's not a stable foundation to build a lasting relationship on. What happens if he loses his job, do you dump him and go on to the next? What happens if you actually marry him and you have kids and he loses his job. What happens then?
60k a year? Baby girl come hop on my dick I make over 6 digits 😂. You are a gold digger but on the lower end. You're not a women you're an object to satisfy mans sexual urges, make sure you keep that pussy of yours clean cus if it starts rotting you're gunna have to settle for mans that only make 30k a year 🤣🤣🤣.
It's not wrong to be attracted to wealth, but if the defining features of your relationship is that someone buys shit for you and in return you put out sex, that's a pretty sad relationship. If that's the key thing you want out of a relationship in exchange for sex, I'd say that's pretty gold digger, even if it's mutual.
If that’s all you are in it for maybe. There should be other important things to to think about in the long run. You got to have a plan in case things don’t work out. As long as you treat each other well and are at least trying to love them or whatever I personally don’t see nothing wrong with it. It sounds like you are smart to me. It is super important to find someone stable like that that can afford a bright future. What’s the point right of trying with someone who is broke it’s a waste of effort. People need money there isn’t nothing wrong with that.
The way you worded it just sounds bad.
I mean, I find it pretty shitty, but as long as you’re being upfront about it and they don’t complain then... congrats, I guess?
Just know that shit probably isn’t gonna work when you’re older and probably considered less desirable, so have fun figuring everything out then.
No... but it's shallow as hell in my eyes and I would avoid girls like you like the plague. Hopefully you have some additional skills that you can use to make a living if you keep up this lifestyle past 30. Men like this will want better women and younger women more if they have a mindset like yours
The sex game is a trade of goods. I know why I haven't worked for over 10 years... I'm the commodity. Your the female version of me and no, we'd probably hate each other more than like in public because neither of us has anything to offer the other.
It just is what it is. I could literally go into depth on this subject. But I'll stop myself here.
I would not like you as a friend. I don't like the idea of being used.
My ex-wife was like you. Once she bled me dry of my saving. Then took me to court and got 70% of what was left in the divorce.
I have learned to never trust people like you.
No your wrong because he works hard for his money and I should love he. Like a husband and your just sleeping with him for his money you sound like a prostitute I say that because if another man came along that had more money to offer you you would leave him in a heartbeat right so. You are just in it for the money and nothing else did u ever think how you could hurt him. You wouldn't even look back just leave him hanging bet you never gave that a thought
No you guys have a mutual Arrangement
you aren’t lying so there is nothing underhanded no “ digging” it’s all on the surface.
whether other people want that kind of relationship or not does not change the fact it’s honest
I hope you guys Like each other at least.
it sounds wrong - but is it?
is it wrong to want someone to look after you when you are involved in an intimate relationship? no
is it wrong to want a higher standard of living for yourself? no
is it wrong that you want someone who's earning a certain amount to be your man? no
it is only wrong if you are manipulating and/or harming these men.. are you doing that? I seriously doubt it
if he is consenting to the activity = that is he is saying "yep it's fine by me" then it's not wrong at all
dont worry about society, just do what makes you happy
If they know the deal they're getting with you, and are happy to agree on those terms, then it's not "wrong". Maybe it's not "right" either, but at least it's honest.
Now if you made a guy think you like him for HIM-- but secretly just want his money-- then it's wrong, coz you've deceived him to get what you want.
I find it a stupid question.
You are or fake and trying to make a fuss on here.
Or you actually know it is not a very positive thing to do and you are just trying to get the answers that you already know.
If you are actually convinced of what you are doing and are fine with it, you won't be asking in the first place.
How much do you make? What do you do for him? I would be totally cool paying for every part of a girls way of life, but she would have to be staying home raising our kids and keeping together our home.
I don't care how hot you think you are you aren't worth doing nothing while someone else pays your way.
What would you do when he cuts it off? You going to be able to take care of yourself? I have a feeling you work hard to keep a back up guy ready.
Yeah, you're a shallow vapid skank. If I met you in real life I'd pick a fight with you. Cows like you give us all a bad name. Do us all a favor and go drown in your bathtub.
Well at least you are honest. So let me lay some honesty on you. If I am paying for everything and working my ass off sex isn’t going to cut it alone. You will have to pull your weight around the place and take care of everything. Some skinny/fat ass alone won’t cut it. You will have to feed the pigs, chickens, horses, dogs, cut the grass, and make something edible. Oh yeah you will have to learn to butcher kills and shoot good. Got it? Okay! That I consider mutual.
id never do any of that for my girlfriend. she's gotta be making money too. i make over 60k and id dump you so fast after i pay for something and notice you expect me to pay every time. id feel used. i dont want a relationship thats only about money and sex. thats why id rather stay single.
If he thinks its okey then fine. But im sure if my partner would think like you do i would buy her N O T H I N G. I would buy her stuff after i find out she is NOT golddigger.
And this is one of reasons im not dating, every girl that see some expensive clothes/jewerly wants to suck my dick lol.
And im also looking for girl that WORKS, EARNS HER OWN MONEY, DONT NEED ANYONES HELP.
If she wants stuff then she probably can't even get her ass up lol
Ur probably broke anyway. You are 18 years old. Lol
And you are probably poor golddigger. Asking for other other people money is disgusting. He earned it and its his money, his decision what he gonna do with it. I probably wouldn't give you a dollar. And thats only reason im not spending money on expensive stuff and not flexing with my stuff. Cuz girls like you would die for it.
Sometimes i wonder why i can't find real one, but now im thankful that i didn't find wrong one like you are lol.
Someone is triggered
I can't take you seriously if you think "retarded" is an insult.
What happened to this feminist movement that was supposed to inspire and motivate women to break barriers and glass ceilings to better their lives? Yes it’s wrong. Why rely on a man? You don’t think if another girl comes along who’s prettier you can be dumped? End of the day no one wins if they are chasing someone for the wrong purpose (the guy gets screwed and so will the woman).
"People say I am a gold digger but my boyfriends usually know what it is and use me for my body so they are doing the same thing."
You are trying to dance around the simple fact that you are a prostitute, selling your body for material things.
It's not wrong if both parties agree to this type of relationship. The problem is that there's always going to be women that are in better shape, better looking and willing to accept less than $60k a year. Enjoy it while you can cause' , looks wise , it's all down hill after your late 20's.
Sad just sad.. U use them for their money them for ur body, pathetic transaction just like prostitution. Don't waste your youth on fake things, that's not what really matters. Of course it is good tto say u want a stable boyfriend who is studying or has a job, but to go for someone because of their money without love is just waste of time. But as long as you are honest and he is honest about it then no harm, then everybody is happy so you can do that if you want to ad nothing wrong.
Either this is a troll, or you came from here https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/d1mpsx/how_to_never_ever_pay_on_a_date/
lol so basically you're a prostitute. Nice! Well if the men you're dating are aware of your expectations to which they're ok w, I guess it's fine. But in 20 years when you're titties are sagging to your belly button I hope you have a backup plan by then. Good luck to you.
Yeah, I think it’s slightly wrong.
Men are worth more than just being used. But the bigger problem is that you’re reducing yourself to a pet, a toy. If you can live with that, that’s fine.
It‘s morally wrong to use men for money and/or sex though.
Yes, it's wrong.
I never made over $49K a year, yet we've owned our house for years, each have a car, put the kids through college with no debt, gave them each a car and $5K to start. I guess I must be doing something wrong.
Excellent budgeting skills. I know people who make $250K+ who are always broke.
@nella965 Wasn't all that hard. Just have to be consistent and determined.
@nella965 That's in 1993 dollars.
Doesn't sound like a loving relationship, if you two are using each other.
However, I see nothing wrong with wanting your man to have money, cuz no one likes a broke n----.
My question is if you are together for a decade, would you leave him immediately because he lost his job?
You must be reaaaaally attractive cause there's no way I pay the phone bill of my girl.
The question is, what will you do once you'll be old and won't have that same body, once he will prefer dumb you for a younger one? Or if he finds a better looking woman
Not as long as you like to be the beautiful jar of that relation.
I really believe everybody have the right to ask for what they want, what I don't like is incongruency.
I don't know if it's for sex, many men want that type of relation for control.
If they pay the bill they have the control about you.
If you agree that type of relation is good, although my advice is that you have a plan B for if he gets tired of you.
If your boyfriend does leave you and you can not find someone dumb enough to pay for all your bills, groceries, material items you want do not complain because you would only have yourself to bkame for not working and earning your own money.
It's certainly not the basis for a long term, stable relationship. There needs to be a strong emotional connection that's the basis for the relationship regardless of financial circumstances as they are apt to change.
I mean it’s not wrong if both parties get what they want out of the exchange. He wants sex, and you want money. You said you were honest about it. It’s not wrong. It’s just frowned upon by society, but live your life anyway.
Good one, I think we all are lazy and don't appreciate each other verses time and people are making this environment impossible. This may sound like a mom or dad answer but time really does take it toll and we are getting uncomfortably overcrowded as population grows. Spending time with your spouse is more like venting than anything. Any suggestions on that it confuses me but believe it true?
It is wrong, and you know it, you're still kinda young but you should start changing your attitude towards relationship because it will damage you in a long run, you're only feeding your material needs right know, what about emotions? don't you want someo one who invests in you more than $? Good luck.
You just seem like a very shallow person to me. So are you working or jobless?
If you are working, then why do you need men to splurge on you?
And if you are not, why aren't you?
If you cook clean take care of your man and are ready to pop out and care for kids then you are not a gold digger. If you sit on the couch eating bon bons and drinking wine you are a gold digger and yes i think you would be trash. by the way i make much more than 60k
Sugar baby. Not a gold digger. Not a bad thing nessessarily if the boyfriend knows it. Thats just a poor relationship and person to, be. Just remeber, your body isn't going to be like it is forever. So wither marry someone or get a job.
Fine. Use men for their money, but then don't be upset when they trade you in or upgrade. Probably shorter, 10-20 years tops, but maybe you're cool with that.
That's not love at all. That's just two idiots mutually abusing one another, and nobody could ever have true happiness living like that.
LOL, your body is still part of you.
Money isn't.
Anyway, it is kind of a gross heart, no love for a person.
I find it gross, your heart is gross to me.
If you can handle a man only looking you for your body - then you are good to go.
If not, then you are a major hypocrite.
People like you are real trash, jeez the world really makes me laugh even more every single day
As long as everyone knows what the deal is, there's nothing wrong with it. It wouldn't appeal to me though
As long as you both understand the arrangement, I think it's OK.
But just to be clear, he's not "using" you for your body. He's paying you for it, and that makes you a whore, aka prostitute. Use whichever term you feel better about, but they mean the same thing, and you are one.
Gold digging and sexual infatuation are 2 completely different things but same principles because you both use each other it’s a mutually symbiotic system
no one gains nor loses anything now if it was a parasitical symbiotic relationship then one person would be mooching too much off the other but if it’s mutual then doesn’t really matter
I'm sure there's a word for women like you, and it's on the very tip of my tongue... smh
No, if he is up for it and getting something in return.
A lot of women doing it and just 'NOO, how could you', BS when you tell them that.
Who does not respect your choice can get back to flipping burgers in your BFs restaurant, if you still want him there...
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