Why do guys call women gold diggers for being attracted to successful men when they themselves wouldn't date an ugly woman?

[Reem12345reem]

they call us gold diggers for not being attracted to broke losers , u want to be attracted to a man who doesn't have ambition and who always complains? Broke guys themselves judge women for that , but women don't shame a man for being "shallow" and that doesn't pick an ugly woman and that only chooses a woman based off her looks

why people don't admit that certain things turn off the opposite gender?

women aren't attracted by men who can't provide and men aren't attracted to ugly/fat women

so why do men say we're gold diggers for going for what we are biologically wired to go for?

Successful men present their masculinity by their achievements and confidence while broke guys with poor mentality don't present anything of that

and yeah being attracted to a guy bc of his money isn't wrong , same as being attracted to a woman bc of her looks , now ofc that's the initial part and the personality is important , but this whole thing im talking about is the first attraction that happens between a man and a woman and there's nothing wrong with being "shallow" or a "gold digger"

Updates

9 mo

Why do guys call women gold diggers for being attracted to successful men when they themselves wouldn't date an ugly women?

Updates

9 mo

it's wrong for a woman to date a man bc of his money (which is a sign that he's a good provider) but it's not wrong for the man to date a woman for her looks (which is a sign of fertility) ?

[Anonymous]

To the guys: Well imagine being chased for your looks or fertility by a man who is unsuccessful and has no means to provide for you or the child.. thats not attractive. It’s offensive.


The OP wording is much different than I would use but the core is the same. Women’s preference in selecting a partner are frowned upon while mens are labeled “evolutionary” and “for survival”.


Assuming a woman “does nothing” and are gold diggers while men “work hard”- for simply wanting a successful and financially stable partner shows that the men who carry that mindset do not value women or their contributions to a household.


The same way many women can’t emotionally handle hearing the ways they don’t fit a man’s preference, broke men’s ego can’t handle hearing that women find their lack of ability to provide as unattractive.


Overall, yhis is such a tired conversation, the best course of action going forward is just simply don’t date people who don’t share your values. If a man doesn't want to provide or you don’t see him as financially stable/successful , don’t take it personally just move on before it can even become and argument. Find these things out before getting emotionally invested.

[Bl0n6eguy]

To the Girls: Imagine you're an attractive guy being hit on for your looks by women whom are not virgins, not as in-shape, do not want to have children, refuse to do housework - or stay monogamous even - yet they have the gall to expect both your time and money for their mere presence. The money wouldn't go towards the raising children (which is men's ONLY financial duty), but rather an entitled materialistic woman seeking to buy the next objectively-worthless possession for clout purposes.

Women whom seek men for money and not love are deserving of far worse than just being ignored. They cost men their entire lives when they steal through entitlement, emotional manipulation and divorce. The money we earn is obtained by spending our lifetimes away; why waste a second more on someone who doesn't want to be with us, but rather the Financial Compensation we receive for the time we have already sacrificed.

Men: It is your Duty to leave them for the cats.

[Opinion Owner]

Lol, you clearly didn’t read the entirety of my post. If you prefer to marry your cat just say that.

[Bl0n6eguy]

I read your post in it's entirety, and I responded in kind; you deserve nothing but cats for company if you only seek men as sources of money. Money for What? A man provides for his wife and children, that is his responsibility; it is not (and never was) to pamper an over-privileged manipulator who will scuttle on to a wealthier man whenever the opportunity arises.

There is nothing less attractive than someone who feels entitled to the point of delusion for something they didn't earn. Looking attractive is easy, it takes no effort; 28 inch waist, low BMI, hip to waist ratio of 0.82... all I do is basic gym exercise on weekends, 6-8 hours per week, tops. Men sacrifice 5x more time and effort than that every week, sometimes at their physical expense.

If all you have to offer is the body you were born with + 6-8 hours of undisciplined recreation per week, with No children to raise, you offer nothing that cannot be provided by another woman who does not have a toxic personality driven by greed, elitism, and narcissism.

[Anonymous]

Actually I don’t think rich guys who are also players care if a woman is gold digger or not as long as he can have sex with her. I think mostly men who are not very rich feel insecure that women don’t like them so they despise them.
Women love money
And men love beauty
That’s actually an instinct. People who are insecure will blame what makes them feel insecure. Not so attractive women will blame men for only liking attractive women, not so rich men will blame women for only liking money. I’ve heard of that from people who are insecure and indeed perceived as less attractive by the society.


There are also rich men who hate gold diggers, those men are men of a true heart, they don’t play with women, those men would rather stay single until he finds a woman that he truly love instead of a woman who is just nice to have sex with.

[Avicenna]

You've conflated two different things. The gold digger is panned not because of her preference but because it's a bad deal for the successful guy. So is dating an ugly woman. Again, why should the successful guy get a bad deal?

It's just as shallow to date for looks as it is for money. And people date ugly people or broke people all the time.

[AviatorTom]

A golddigger goes after a guy for his money, it helps if he's attractive.

A guy prefers an attractive woman, regardless of whether she has money.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You're looking at this the wrong way, its not the "male way" vs the "female way", it's love vs greed.

Dating/marriage is about looks and personality (for both genders), not money. So it's bad to be a gold digger, but it's ok to have someone turn you on sexually and mentally (because thats the entire point of having an SO in the first place, and its what creates what people call romantic love)

When people date or marry for money instead of love, its conning someone else out of getting real love, it's a form of sabotoge if you will.

Many women found me sexually attractive, and mentally stimulating, and no woman has ever cared to even ask about my financial situation before hitting on me or dating me, and upon finding out passively, it wasn't of any consequence or interests (though ultimately other things got in the way, like them being religious, or not liking my hobbies, so I'm pickier now). So this idea you have that all women are gold diggers, thats just in your own head, it's imaginary.

Gold diggers are actually only a very small portion of women. And you are just trying to make it seem normal so you don't seem as bad option wise by comparison. The reality is that when you date/marry for money, you are just using that person, and will ditch them when times are tough, and no one wants a person who doesn't love them enough to take marriage vows seriously (in sickness and in health, in wealth and in poverty, in good times and bad, etc etc.).

Eventually you will learn what actual love feels like, where you actually want someone (instead of wanting what someone can do for you). Then marriage vows will actually make sense for you.

Or maybe you aren't capable of love? Who knows..

[TheSpaceGnome]

Either way, you still have like half a decade or more to figure that out.

[inhua]

the term "gold-digger" is mostly used by older women to shame younger women who go for older men similar to the term "predator" that is used on older men as well

age gap relationships are often frowned upon by women the most. men don't care if women want money, we've known this to be the case for thousands of years and men don't wish to be broke unlike plus-sized models/body positivity feminists who want men to find them attractive even when they're clearly unhealthy

there's no broke positivity movement being made by men

[Reem12345reem]

yeah that's true but broke men always complain about women having high standards and that we're high maintenance when they're the ones who are broke 💀

[inhua]

broke men are living in the streets right now without the internet. if you can put food on the table and pay your bills, you ain't broke. everything else is just a luxury

[Reem12345reem]

that's the bare minimum

[inhua]

it covers all the 5 necessary human needs. food, water, oxygen, rest, protection

cars, mattresses, air-conditioners, beverages, electronics, entertainment, pets etc. are all extras and luxury you can live without

[Reem12345reem]

that's why it's the bare minimum

[inhua]

still isn't defined as broke

[WhyohWhy69]

No actually men use it to shame, too.

[inhua]

@WhyohWhy69 only if the woman specifically goes after the man for his money, doesn't actually care for him as a person, doesn't do her part in the relationship and her loyalties can be questioned

there is a pattern to be observed, when a guy who maintains the same personality throughout his life suddenly gets women after he changes his looks or gets rich

[236color]

If a man says "I only want a woman with big tits." He's a sexist asshole, right? If a woman says "I only want a man who is a good provider" (rich), she a smart lady, thinking of her future. In the words of Dr Drew Pinsky, "Women are sex objects, men are success objects." This is why some men get angry and conclude that all women are prostitutes. The truth is, sex is more expensive for women. For a man, sex costs a half hour of your time and a few calories. For women, sex risks a life long responsibility, so you can understand why they aren't as willing to scramble their DNA quite as carelessly as men.

[Reem12345reem]

THISSSS

[Anonymous]

Because the moment the money is gone so are you. That means you would only love someone as long as they are useful to you.

Which would be like me telling a woman that I only love her until she's too old to be considered attractive.

This essentially leads to a spiralling back and forth where both parties are basically just using each other for their own personal gain and will have no qualms tossing them aside the second they've outlived their usefulness.

Oh and since we're on this topic, let's talk about women who go full suck up on people who do become successful when they used to be the first to belittle them for being failures and having the audacity to "Offer" to be their girl. ... OFFER!

Why are you acting like you're doing me a favor when that hole between your legs is the only thing about you that's worth a damn? You treat me like shit and then kiss my ass when I make it big?

Men get upset at women who seem obsessed with money because to us it's an insult. We both know you don't actually love me, you love my money, and the moment that's gone so are you. Meanwhile, there is NOTHING you can offer me that I can't get from an escort or a massage parlor or a random hookup.

Sure men might be shallow in a lot of areas caring largely about female looks, but even if a woman is conventionally ugly, that's nothing a few plastic surgery sessions can't fix.

There is nothing redeemable about a hypergamous cunt who views men as living ATMs and will ditch them the moment someone richer comes along.

[rigmarole]

It's pretty simple really. A gold digger is a woman who becomes or tries to become romantically involved with a rich man in order to get get access to money and gifts. The term doesn't have anything to do with what men want or do. They could like peeing in your hair, taking a dump on your chest, wearing women's clothing, slicing their chest with a knife every Thursday afternoon for some fucked up ritual, collecting stamps, etc. None of those details would affect the woman's behavior and motivation in seeking out men with money.

[sheenagwapa]

i don't see anything wronh with women who are into rich men if thry're also there for love but if it's just about the money or the primary motive is to be rich then that's just wronh.


men i notice alwsys play dirty tactics to get women like makinh the woman feel shit about themselves so that the woman would yield. i don't understand hiw these women fall in love to this type of men. seriously yoy fell in love with a man who makes yoy feel shit about yourself? like yoy are old or yoy are a nobody or any bullyinh tactics


my ex would also bully me if we quarrel before and if i threatened to leave but i find it funny because he doesn't really do it severely and he always compliments me too but to men who are like for example strangers dude even if you are the richest, hottest man alive i will never be with an ass like you.

[RavVid]

I wouldn't consider that gold digging and just rate it as selecting a suitable partner same as I am seeking suitable attributes from a woman. One of which will be a level of physical attractiveness but that is only one of the attributes I want.

If my income stream was all that you were wanting I might start thinking of you as a gold digger. The classic gold digger is one who goes for an older man simply for his wealth.

That is a fair way away from respecting a man who has managed his life well enough to be earning a good income and to be a good life partner consequently. I'd expect to be respected for who I am.

I think if you put it this way income is just an easy measure of a number of qualities that women should find attractive.

[Miristheiss]

SEX.

Nothing wrong with enjoying sex with a hot attractive person with a great body.

Gold diggers are willing to give their bodies and have sex... even with men that are gross... for money.

Men and women are meant to mate. It is natural. Sex is gun. We are meant to have babies.

Being attracted to a sexual mate is very normal.

Having sex with an unattractive person... so they'll share THEIR money is just gross.

Most guys will be put off and not want sex if the girl repulses them. Gold diggers will still get nasty with a gross guy just so he'll buy her something.

That is being a prostitute.

Prostitution is 100% different than being attracted to sexy girls and turned off by ugly girls. That is normal biology.

[Reem12345reem]

women are attracted to guys who can provide for them and that means he has to have money

[Miristheiss]

yes... prostitution.

[Finchie40]

Because most men want a girl to like him for him not for what’s inside his wallet , Most men don’t go after a beautiful girl for her wallet, he goes after her because he finds her beautiful and loves her personality and the chemistry and connection they share , so if a girl only goes for Guy’s based off of what’s inside his wallet, he will not be interested in her and consider her a prostitute or whore , So he calls her a Gold digger mainly for that reason , Me personally only goes after girls’ that wants to be a team with me. A girl that works with me not against me , A girl that loves me for me , a girl that has work ethic that understands most things on this planet you have to work for and earn. If she is the type of girl that thinks everything should just be handed to her , then she isn’t a girl I will waste my time with , I want a partner not a mooch

[dynamicyandere]

I feel like that’s a harsh term for those guys to use.


It’s all context.


A gold digger implies deception.


Pretending to love someone, but actually they just want their money.


In contrast, a sugar baby is upfront.


Everyone knows that the relationship isn’t real and it’s transactional.


Someone can be dating a guy for their money, and they may be a liar or they may be upfront.


One isn’t honorable but the other is at least honest.


As for those guys that call all girls who prefer dating successful men gold diggers, without knowing the nuances, they’re just bitter and insecure about their own lack of success.


Context is key.

[Anonymous]

I think the better question is why does it bother you so much being called a gold diggers if you know it's not true?

I personally don't care what a woman thinks of me financially because I know my where my finances rest. The only thing that makes me laugh at women who make this a thing is that most the time they haven't fully thought it through. Unless your partner is "rich". It is possible that you will (through no fault of anyone's necessarily) face financial hardhip (s). Too many young women make a statement like, "a guy needs to make 50k a year". As though that fixes everything. Jobs can be lost, economies can sour, people can get very sick or injured. In other words, "life happens". I woman would do well to worry more about his character than his current income. But ya know what... these women got to learn on thier own sometimes. And sometimes the hard way.

[desidoll]

You know, most of the guys who use that gold diggers term, are the broke ones themselves. Never really heard a wealthy man worries so much about getting ripped off on a dinner date lol. Anyway, the reason is to guilt trip women, so that they don’t have to compete with men who earn more than them.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Wealthy men are actually the ones who deal with the gold digger threat the most because gold diggers are rare and are attracted to top teir incomes. To the point where a lot of rich men pretend to be poor just to avoid them, and a lot of poor men avoid becoming rich until after they find love, just so they know she loves him (and not simply his money).

Gold diggers are not real spouses, they are just bums leeching off of people. And believe it or not, men do want ACTUAL love from a woman.

I'm just glad I've never had to deal with gold diggers, a pleasent side effect of only dating gamers, artists, etc. is you can't have those hobbies and be poor enough to need to dig gold.

Gold diggers go on and on about how worthless poor men are, but she's the same as him, so she's onl insulting herself.

Rich men want rich women, there are even exclusive dating sites that cater specifically to matching income brackets.

[Staximus]

I think you're young and confused. A woman should be able to provide for herself and not look for or rely on a man to give her a free ride. I am willing to work hard to help myself and a worthy woman to get ahead, but she must also be willing to put forth the same amount of effort to help us get ahead. A gold digger is a woman who is not willing to put forth any effort to get herself or her man ahead. A gold digger will look for a free ride and leave as soon as possible if the guy goes broke, and not put forth any effort for her and him to get ahead financially. Gold diggers are scum. They are basically prostitutes with only one client. They trade their vagina and fake affection for money. Before the money is all gone, they are already looking for a new victim.

[zagor]

Gold diggers aren't just looking for someone who can provide the basic means for living for them and potential children, they look for someone who can provide them with a life of luxury. They don't just reject bums and those just scraping by, they reject guys who make enough to buy a house and such because they want a lot more and don't want to bother working for it.

[LiamJHayden]

Yes, it is somewhat hypocritical to blast those who are attracted to one type of wealth (assets) while failing to see that they themselves seek another type of wealth (beauty).

That, however, is not always the case. In fact there are many men with assets who are turned of by women whom they perceive as being only interested in their wealth, not them as people.

[BarryLiverstone]

Some of this is based on fear. The guys hear stories of dishonest women who take advantage of men so they label someone a gold digger when they see red flags. Could also happen when a guy gets rejected.


When do you see this happening?

[Reem12345reem]

I see aklot of men on here jusge women for being "gold diggers"

[BarryLiverstone]

Also you asked about guys not admitting they are turned off by fat women. Often times the moment a guy says this to someone not only will she attack him but if others see his comment they will also lay into him. It’s a personal truth to not be attracted to someone obese but as a guy often we can’t be honest about this. Right?

[BarryLiverstone]

Oh on here? So the guys who judge women as being gold diggers are often just repeating what they have heard or seen. Very few times does it come from personal experience and some who have been taken advantage of in the past are a bit bitter. Mgtow seems to be motivated somewhat about this

[Reem12345reem]

no one would attack u bc of your personal preference , it's most likely the way u tell her/treat her bc of it

[Reem12345reem]

I saw boys in my class treat an ugly girls soo bad (altho she had a nice body but her face is ugly) but I wouldn't be rude to a poor guy just bc im not attracted to him

[BarryLiverstone]

Actually last week someone on here asked why guys don’t approach her. I offered to give her honest feedback and after seeing her pics let her know that she wasn’t ugly and would likely be approached if she lost weight. At which point she started to repeatedly tell me “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” and started to hurl insults at me. I even asked a question on my profile about it.

So while I agree no one should attack based on personal preference , it happens and that’s just one example

[BarryLiverstone]

The boys in your class are bullies. They act this way to cover up their own insecurities. They would rather make fun of that girl because it makes them feel better to be a part of the group and they don’t worry as much about their personal issues.

[Reem12345reem]

I guess some of them are like that 👍🏻

[BarryLiverstone]

If a woman tells a man that she isn’t physically attracted to him at all but still agrees to date him and be sexual then I don’t see anything wrong as that isn’t a conventional romantic relationship. The guy would basically agree that she’s a full time prostitute.

A guy who is attracted to someone based on her looks and wants to pursue her romantically is the same as a girl doing that with a guy. Physical attraction is usually the start of most relationships on both sides.

Now if a guy only wants her for her looks and fails to learn her personality and disrespects her then that’s wrong also as he’s just using her for selfish reasons

[Reem12345reem]

EXACTLY

[BarryLiverstone]

If a broke guy complains about standards and says that’s why he got rejected then the answer is for him to work on his debt. Both people should have standards anyway.

[McLlovin]

Women want the finished product these days, long gone are the days where we grind together to make it. And getting closer because of it. Not saying go after dudes that have no drive jobless and is satisfied with living home with their parents. But hats off to those 9-5 guys with goals

Nope women looking for that 10’7 guy that make 12 figures. The.0000001 percent of men of which millions of women are chasing after as well

[DannyUk2017]

You don't want me to answer that... So to keep it simple...
Wealth and beauty is Gained not Bought, and it won't last forever, so when all that because (unforseen circumstances) is Gone in a blink of an eye, you'll start to appreciate the "less you've got" instead the Ready and Grab things. 🤷‍♂️