Why do men label women who want men with money as a gold digger?

Question

Most women just want financial stability and don’t want to argue over petty things like money. I plan on having a well paying job that keeps me financially stable on my own but I will not date someone is making much less than me or is broke. That’s a burden and will lead to arguments on marriage, children, pets, etc. I get dating guys only for money is wrong but keeping his financial stability in mind isn’t terrible.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

There is a difference between you and gold diggers. If a girl is making six figures and is looking for a guy who does the same is reasonable. But if a girl is not making money and is looking for a guy who is making money so that he can support her and she could live a rich life then that's wrong. Also, in my opinion, a gold digger is someone who is not a good person but is good to the wealthy people. I think of her as a prostitute and will treat her like that! My advice to you will be , not that you have asked, is to just look for happiness while in a relationship rather than money. If he can't make you happy then leave him. If you want you can search for gold digger pranks and you'll see how these gold diggers actually couldn't care less about the person and just cares about the money. Money doesn't defines a person. If it did the Dawood Ibrahim would have been the best man alive!

MementoMori_ · Accepted Answer

I agree with your conclusion with one significant caveat. Money is not a "petty" thing. It makes a big difference in what kind of life you are going to live. It's a necessity. It's very difficult to come by and even more difficult to keep. When a guy has a lot of money he always has to be wary of a woman's motives because there are in fact a lot of women out there who only care about his money and not about him. Any guy with a lot of money who doesn't keep his guard up will soon regret it.

EmmaMary · Accepted Answer

Primarily if a woman is only after a man with money, then quite rightly they should be tagged with the title of Gold Digger.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Wanting someone who earn as much as you is not gold digger but dating someone for money is gold digger

MrOracle · Answer

"I plan on having a well paying job that keeps me financially stable on my own"

Most guys plan on this too, but you'll learn that it doesn't always work out the way you expect. I've known people who were in a specialty job making over $200,000 a year who suddenly found that speciality no longer in demand due to changes in the market or laws, and many were back making $40,0000 a year, or outright unemployed, until they could find something else that had a higher value.

Money comes and goes. Very few people have enough of it to be truly "stable" and things can happen when you least expect it.

I absolutely agree that you are smart to want a guy with some ambition, who is willing to work hard, and who is financially responsible. Such a person is likely to do well in the long run, though they may have some periods in their life when they are really struggling and have very little. The same is true for you - women aren't exempt from that anymore than men.

it's not the MONEY that you should care about - it's the VALUES. A guy who is "rich" from a trust fund but has crappy values not only can hurt you emotionally but may well end up broke.

witherwing · Answer

If they're looking for money in the relationship, they are gold diggers. If they want financial stability, they can achieve that by themselves, without a rich husband. It's not a man's responsibility to bring the finances to the relationship.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

What role does "character" play in the selection process?

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Well its for the same reason that women claim a man who wants an attractive woman is shallow. He wants a woman who has a good genetic profile and attractiveness is a good indicator of that. He also wants a woman who is able to survive child birth with minimal to no complications so again, an attractive body means that she will be able to handle child birth. Now this is biology just as its biology for a woman to want a man who is financially secure (and you are right, you have to be pragmatic about these things, children are expensive). So imagine a man telling you your not good enough because you don't have the child bearing hips he wants in a woman, that your face isn't pretty enough. How is that going to make you feel? It may be absolutely reasonable from a biological stand point, it may be highly pragmatic on his part after all any issues you have biologically have a decent probability of either endangering his children in child birth or resulting in a less healthy offspring, and none of that will really stop the sting of being told that your not good enough, that who you are as a person isn't good enough, that your kindness, your love just isn't enough because of your hip size or the structure of your face or the little bit of fat on your belly. Again, it may all be true, it may be pragmatic and it may be perfectly reasonable, but it still hurts. Now when you get to the extreme ends i. e. money mattering more then anything else then you are absolutely a "gold digger", now your just being manipulative, you are seeing that person as a tool rather then a person (just as a man who only cares about looks does the same thing to a woman). For instance you say children are expensive, its true, but its also true that if your making 50,000 a year you can get by, if your making 100,000 a year and he is making 50,000 then your perfectly fine in this regard YET the overwhelming majority of women (yourself included) would not give that man the time of day, even if he is working hard even if he is stuck in that situation based upon other factors (he couldn't afford school, he is working to make things better but needs more time), statistically speaking. So at which point does it stop being pragmatic? That's the other issue, where is the cut off? We know for a fact that women do not date "down"(economically speaking) no matter how much they make so at some point it stops being pragmatic and starts being a shallow basis, just like a guy who only dates "tens" and refuses to date any one below perfect, at that point its just shallowness (which is fully within their right to do mind you), that does get offensive to people after a point because now you can't really trust that they are seeing the person they are just seeing the superficial and if they are doing that with their partners who else are they doing that too? So it is absolutely reasonable for a woman to want a man with some money, who can provide for his family, in fact its highly desirable (and this is coming from a man who currently does not fall into that category), however its still belittling to hear it even if its true and reasonable and their comes a point where its not only not beneficial but rather becomes a detriment and can break trust (as again, people start to wonder if your with the person for their money or for them and without trust its hard to have a functional relationship).

Anonymous · Answer

First off, I don't exactly think they're being gold diggers in many scenarios. But the reason men feel this way?

Most men are willing to date women without money. So the fact women care seems really mercenary to us.

I'd also note there are at least three things i'd separate:
- caring about a partner's ability to contribute financially in marriage. Marriage is a lot more then just liking each other, it's a logistical challenge as well, and I think wanting someone who can share the load while not pretending it's anything but being rational is fine, it's not romantic, but it's fine. Wanting a partner who earns enough you don't have to do shit is probably not being a gold digger, but it's being a lazy bitch.
- a -lot- of women find guys with a high income attractive (they are not attracted to a guy because his parents are rich, so you don't see this much with teens). Women will say things like they like guys who have drive or have ambition, but it often comes down to having a high status and earning a lot. This is -not- being a gold digger, its LEGITIMATE attraction. I've seen women who casually hook up with guys they get nothing from and his status/wealth were an influence. If she's not getting any gifts/benefits, that's sure as hell not gold digging. Clearly a lot of women's instincts don't just want these guys money, their body is saying it wants his genetics. That's real attraction. Guys can find this confusing, because we do NOT tend to find a woman's income a factor that makes her attractive.
- real gold digging is dating or sleeping with someone who you don't actually find attractive for the material benefits, or filtering only for guys who can spoil you. That is … you know … pretty whorish.

Anonymous · Answer

Here's the problem. It all comes down to gender roles, and the dishonesty and hypocrisy women exhibit about them. Women say they are against gender roles and want to abolish them, but they really only want to abolish the ones that don't help them. This topic is one of those.

Women still expect a man to be the primary breadwinner and they still judge a man based on his ability to earn. You are a great example of that. You say you plan to have a well paying job but of course most women say that and many, many don't. Why? Because THEY DON'T HAVE TO, because they make sure they marry a man who earns enough money. So perpetuating that gender role gives women that choice, a choice that men don't have.

Women study easier majors, on average, and go into easier, lower paying careers, on average. Why? Because THEY CAN! But then they also complain about the so called wage gap, which they themselves are responsible for. They are working the system to their own benefit and complaining it is women who are somehow victims.

www.aei.org/.../

So yeah, men call women out for it because women are hypocritical and honest about it.

btbc92 · Answer

Because they're SELFISH. Don't date a man who doesn't think as you do. Yes, there are PLENTY of women that are gold diggers. But I also found out many do that as revenge for getting used for premarital sex. Guy uses the girl for sex, he leaves. So those same girls go after he is 'secure' about: his $$$. Money is mostly on their mind because of what you said: marriage, kids, stability. You don't want a guy who can't financially support himself and proven to be responsible but says what he wants so much. Relationships are give and take equally. And not everybody has the best intentions for you at heart.

There are women who are poor and sincerely wants a man to love and raise a family with, he wants her [mainly for sex], but he isn't willing to marry her. Most gold diggers are women who can afford and can't equally. My close friend is dealing with divorce procedures over just that. The husband living off of her money.

Bananaman177 · Answer

You can look at any great man, any successful man, and at one point in time, he had nothing. He started from nothing. If you looked at him then, you'd write him off.

And then he'd go on to prove that basically, you are fucking stupid.

That's the hidden part of calling a woman a gold-digger, women don't grasp what it fully means. They understand that it means they're predatory and untrustworthy, but it also means you're stupid. Judging where a man is going to be based on where he is right now? Stupidest thing I ever heard.

Guess what, most guys ACCUMULATE wealth and value and experience as they go through life. You can't ever look at how much money a man is making and have any idea how much he'll be making in 5, 10, 20 years. One guess is as good as another.

MimiHashima · Answer

If certain people say it very often without knowing the facts, they likely are ignorant of each individual’s true intentions on the matter and some are ignorant of the actual meaning of the word. While they see it in today’s environment sometimes a lot done by women, it gets confused later onto every other situation that involves wanting a man with a financial stability (some don’t look for this..). It’s hypocritical when it’s the other party doing it too. It’s like the other saying of a suga daddy and suga mama (however you call it) ... it can be rather controversial on both ends and the habit is in pointing fingers especially without knowing completely or to some extent of what’s going on..

AynonOMouse · Answer

At some point in their lives they will lose their job, or something will happen where they have much less money for a while. The greedy gold diggers leave because they aren't loyal and don't care about the person at all, all they value is money.
And him having a lot of money means he could easily replace her whenever he wants because there are plenty of gold diggers out there. He can cheat on her constantly if he wants and treat her like shit because in reality, women like that are worthless and can be replaced pretty quick.

How would you like it if a guy was only with you for money and soon as you lose your job he leaves?

softrosie · Answer

There's a difference between wanting stability and being a gold digger, though. I'd be more than happy to marry a plumber, who has a stable and humble career that makes enough money to be stable. A gold digger would never date a plumber, because that's not enough

madgoat · Answer

Classic gold digging is where a woman's only interest in the man is his money and contributes very little, if anything, other than her body.
You seem to be talking about a division of labour in a household where the woman looks after the home and the man works. Both contribute, no problem.

madhatters4 · Answer

keeping someone's financial situation in mind isn't wrong and all people should do this. gold digger is not usually applied to someone who simply wants someone in good financial standing. gold digger is usually applied to someone whose primary concern is the person's bank account and the rest isn't as important

WalterBlack · Answer

There is nothing inherently wrong with a woman marrying a rich man. If a woman is willing to make an equal contribution to the household, whether by raising children or having a career, then she would not be considered a gold-digger. If the woman wants to live a life of luxury and the only thing she has to offer is being a trophy wife, then she is probably a gold-digger.

nathanp97 · Answer

I agree with you. I won't date someone who can't support themselves. I think the problem is that lots if girls who do work still expect a guy to pay for dates and everything, and valuing money in that way would make you a gold digger, but I think you are fine.

capncool · Answer

I'm not a rich person by any means, but I would rather have a woman who is more interested in me as a person than how much money I make. If I'm dating a woman and I find out her main interest in me is my financial situation then I know that if she catches the interest of a guy who's wealthier than I am or if my financial situation goes south, she's gone in a heartbeat.

Scaramanga · Answer

Because women can always have a relationship, regardless of whether they have a job or not.

I don't imagine you would enjoy falling on hard times, losing your job, and then losing your relationship because of that? Neither do men. But it happens all the time.

Iron_Man · Answer

That's something I hate with a passion women using guys for their money it's definitely big time gold digging.. It's about the heart and the passion and how compatible you are together. It's not how big your bank account is. You want to live a luxury life then rely on yourself and earn your own money

es20490446e · Answer

Gold digger is someone who wants a man for bringing the money they are too lazy to do by themselves.

ChetAtkins · Answer

I'm sure Anna NIcole Smith married him for love. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was a multi billionaire.

Why do men label women who want men with money as a gold digger?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do men label women who want men with money as a gold digger?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.