Why do men want women to date men they find unattractive?

[Anonymous]

Some men on here and other question or four sites get really upset when a woman wants to date a handsome man and berates her asking how she's worthy and should lower her standards or smth about hypergamy.

Even if most women found a certain percentage of men attractive I don't get why men would want to date women who don’t find them appealing. No one wants a spouse or partner who thinks their ugly.

If anything more men can just work on their physical appearance the way women do because trust a 6/10 whose hygienic and fit with a personality isn't getting rejected most of time by their 6/10 female counterpart.

[aceleon]

relationship and sex is different.

expecting a top man having sex with you is not having high standarts, the guys you talk about hates this cuz it narrows their chances of sex let alone relationships.

but if you expect a top notch man who has no problem getting girls fairly easily to commit to you and give it up all those girls, yes it is kind of a ridiculous expectation to have (it can happen but it is about the guy's preference not your own value)

and a thing about mans, we don't like girls who acts like us

they don't like you liking handsome guys only cuz they only like fairly pretty girls, we love 3 somes with girls but if we have a normal functioning mind we hate the idea of another man in the bedroom, we want to have high body counts but we hate woman body counts, what we want from woman is opposite of what we want for ourselves.

[Squatting_Slav]

Hmm i think the sole answer comes from delusion or insecurity. It just doesn't happen, it goes against the laws of nature. In addition, you are what you attract. Men/women with poor confidence will tend to blame others instead of adopting a positive mindset which is attractive.

[Nikki1989]

Not only that, but they also expect women to date men that are obviously mentally unbalanced and insecure.

[MrOracle]

Good question. Here's the answer:

EVERYONE would love to have a partner who is super handsome or super pretty. This is obvious, isn't it? But beauty, by itself, is very superficial, and like all superficial things, it doesn't satisfy in the long run. It's like sugar candy - you may crave it, but even when you get it, it doesn't really fill your stomach or make you feel full, and it doesn't really sustain you either. It's really just empty calories.

Let me give you an example: you get introduced to a hot guy, and you get all the "feels" because he's so attractive. He asks you out, and a couple weeks later, he asks you to be his girlfriend. Now you're in a relationship with him, and for the first month, you're in heaven. But over time, you realize that you aren't his priority. He goes places and doesn't always bring you. He doesn't introduce you to his friends. And he often "disappears" and doesn't answer his phone or make contact with you until he "reappears." You know it's not job-related because he's got a very 8-5 job.

Are you going to be happy in this relationship? I suspect not. But... he's still hot, right? Why doesn't him being hot make everything better? The truth is, that after the "honeymoon period" is over, his looks don't mean anything to you if his morals, values, and life-goals don't align with yours. The problem is that guys who are hot almost never have good morals, values, and life-goals. Women KNOW this, which is why most women, if given a chance to date a hot guy, will go to any lengths to avoid even ASKING about them: because they don't WANT to KNOW - they prefer to PRETEND that his morals and values and life-goals are good so that she can keep going out with the hot guy. But of course, sooner or later - and usually sooner - the reality can't be ignored or dismissed anymore, and she has to face the fact that he's just using her for sex, or that he's cheating on her, or that he has no plans to get more serious than just casual sex, or whatever. And when this happens, his looks are no longer enough to make her happy.

What she should have been doing all along is choosing guys PRIMARILY based on their morals, values, and life-goals. The reason she doesn't do that is because the guys who are really good in these areas are rarely the hot, popular, high-status guys that Instagram and TikTok have assured her that she's entitled to. And, so, she dates the hot guys, over and over and over, hoping at first to just ignore their flaws, and later hoping to "fix" his flaws so that he becomes a good guy - but it never works. And so she goes on this rollercoaster of being super excited by the latest hot guy to a month or two later being devastated by him when she finds out that he's not the kind of man she wanted.

But, now, having dated nothing but hot guys, she can't bring herself to date an average looking guy (no matter how average SHE is), because by comparison, an average guy is UGLY to her. He may have great morals, values, and life-goals, but he's not as tall as Brad, isn't as fit as Steve, isn't as wealthy as Mike, isn't as high of status as Paul, and isn't as good in bed as Blake.

[MrOracle]

This is what we call a woman who has been "alpha widowed" - she's gotten used to being with nothing but high-status guys that she can't be happy with a regular guy - but she also can't be happy with those high-status guys because they never took her seriously and were never going to give her what she wanted (beyond his looks). Eventually, she'll age out of being able to attract the high-status guys at all, and so she'll decide she needs to "settle" for an average guy for security. But - in a shocking twist that she never saw coming: the average guys that she overlooked her entire life no longer want her either, after she's old, has limited fertility, and has been ran through by a bunch of alpha guys who were just using her, and left her emotionally broken and jaded. And so she now either has to go REALLY far down the scale to find a man who will take her, or she ends up alone.

This happens ALL THE TIME - TikTok is full of women in this exact situation complaining that they can't find a man, that all the "good men" have disappeared, and that she can't figure out why even the average guys that she's willing to "settle" for in her mid-30s no longer want her. It's not men making these videos; WOMEN are making these videos, because it's exactly what they're experiencing, because this happens so often.

[MrOracle]

The lesson is this: you can go for hot guys, to satisfy your "sweet tooth" with empty calories, but that quickly becomes a very bad habit that you can't get out of, and by the time you realize what a mistake it was, you're in your 30s and your 20s are gone and it's just too late. You COULD have had a great, solid guy as a husband and had a family and a legacy, but if you don't get that by your 20s (and by your mid-20s, really), then it's probably too late. And you certainly aren't likely to get any of that from a HOT guy, because hot guys rarely have any interest in a commitment. They have far too many women to explore to limit themselves to only one.

[Asker]

There are tons of attractive good natured men and there are tones off of ugly and average bad me. Attractiveness doesn’t correlate to personality.

I’m not saying a 10/10 model man and a 5/10 woman. Like I said in my post a 6/10 man and a 6/10 woman makes sense just like a 8/10 man and an 8/10 woman with similar values. Attractive women settling for basement dweller men doesn’t make sense when there are cute nice guys. Look at most couples, generally they are looks matched and treat eachother well.

Being ugly doesn’t give a man better morals or personality it’s just makes a man more embarrassing to leave when he fucks you over.

[MrOracle]

I'm not suggesting that you date a troll. But there absolutely IS a strong correlation with people at the very top of the beauty curve having low morals and values when it comes to relationships. Such people are used to getting everything they want easily, and so they don't NEED to have morals and values to be successful, and so most don't.

[DextroShade]

First and most importantly, men and women value different things for potential partners. Men value beauty, fertility, and innocence while women value status, resources, and competence.

Second, most women when asked what they want in a man all describe a man who is in the top 1%; if you don't believe me try out the Female Delusion Calculator and see where you stand. This is regardless of what they have to offer a man, there are now women who are 300 lbs saying they are 10's. This is equivalent to a guy who has no job and lives in his parent's basement eating Cheetos and playing video games all day saying he deserves a pre-2020 Victoria's Secret model. Most guys don't have such ridiculous standards.

[Asker]

I get to choose what my values are in a partner though who cares what women in general value. The best thing a man can offer is a good personality and an amazing face. Yes money is necessary but that’s because you can’t raise a family on 1 income in america right now it’s impossible. 200k+ family income is non negociable if you want to kids.

Your female delusion calculator says a lot more about men than women. Most men in the US can’t get a providing job (which in this economy is 100k+? Most men in the US obese? I’m an attractive fit 20 year old woman who makes 115k a year cause I worked and went to school no I’m not settling for a bum who’s ugly just because the majority of men don’t have ambition or drive.

[Asker]

Men have lower stands because the average women generally bring more to the table. The average young woman (not 30-40+) is fit with a livable wage, and takes care of her appearance even if she’s not genetically blessed, most women also give it there all in a relationship and put in more effort than me. The average man puts less care into appearance. makes less than a live able wage, and doesn’t stay fit, while being a poor boyfriend spouted who puts less effort into a relationship than the woman.

[DextroShade]

You are full of shit just like every other worthless feminist. What job do you have at 20 where you are making six figures? I am guessing either some kind of sex work or DEI position, that is making the generous assumption that it's not just an outright lie.

[Asker]

I’m a traveling sonography tech. I studied and went to school like anyone else and made connections. Anyone can do it if they work but seems like a lot of men now simply don’t want to.

[DextroShade]

Let's say I believe you (I don't), congratulations you just priced yourself out of the marketplace and into a lonely death. The men you deride as losers for not making over six figures are the same men who do all the work to keep the lights on, but I guess creating and maintaining the comfortable civilization you are currently enjoying isn't enough for you. If all women think as you do then men now have no incentive to do the dirty difficult jobs that keep civilization running. Enjoy starving to death cold, dark, and in your own filth with the other feminists.

[Staximus]

Would you settle for a good looking bum hahaha..
What 20 year old makes 115k doing what? Not any around here.

[Zestyassmf1997]

I think the problem is that a guy who a woman sees as a 6/10 is what other guys view as like a 7 or 8. And I think women often rate themselves higher than they really are. The end result is that the, “6/10 female counterpart” is actually like a 5/10, and he’s like a 7.

[Asker]

That’s never happens be honest. When do you ever see a more attractive men with an ugly woman. 99% of the time is an ugly man with an attractive woman. Studies have consistently proved women his lower self esteem than men. Men simply find each other more attractive because they have higher self esteem not because they are objectively that attractive. Beauty standards and set by the opposite gender if women generally don’t find a man attractive he's not attractive because attractiveness is based on sexual allure.

[Zestyassmf1997]

I’ve seen no shortage of morbidly obese women with normal looking dudes. Consider that women are always discouraged from changing for a man, whereas men are always told they need to be better.

[Asker]

I don’t know where you live because most women who aren’t middle aged are fit and slim? Where are you meeting fat women?

[Zestyassmf1997]

Bruh…obesity rates in the US are insane.

[Asker]

Amongst middle aged people and really only in some areas, mostly lower income neighborhoods. I very rarely even see fat women under 30-40 years old and I live near a big city. Most 20 somethings aren’t fat

[Zestyassmf1997]

www.researchgate.net/.../329327914_Almost_every_woman_thinks_she's_hotter_than_the_average_Differences_in_self-assessments_of_physical_attractiveness_between_women_and_men

At the end of the day, no matter what you look like as a woman, there’s a man out there who’ll be with you. The reverse is not true.

[Asker]

www.apa.org/.../self-esteem-gender

www.forbes.com/.../?sh=14bb5e2d3bfa

time.com/.../

Women have historically had lower self esteem and studies continuously reflect that. I’m not saying any woman can’t get a boyfriend or spouse but It’s but like women view themselves as so much better that’s a lie men who chase egotistical instagram models feed themselves. The average woman has lower self esteem than the average man. Of course if your going after prettier women like most men do, there is a high chance you’ll get rejected because men will always flock to the prettiest girl. They also assume a pretty girl is average which simply isn’t true, ugly women are simply nonexistent to most men. If men go after women in their league consistently and show themselves to be good men who don’t complain and act bitter about the women who do reject them they get swept off the market quickly

[KrakenAttackin]

The issue is how delusional modern women are thinking they can get a top 5% man to commit to them. If you are a solid 5 as a woman, but guys who are 9's or 10's use you as dumpster, you think you are a 9 or 10.

What's the result? Average women get run through by hot guys (big time) but wonder why they can't hold on to one.

[Slapmynuts]

We all look great with the lights off!🤪 Now being serious, maybe because the individual is actually a great person and to that person they are the most beautiful or handsome person! It's all perspective! Or maybe they are just settling for the fear of being alone!🤔😉

[Anonymous]

its easy, its because they are unattractive but believe they still (usually only) deserve girls who are way out of their leagues. so when you give them reality they get upset

[aceleon]

can't really blame them cuz whether they are not in the top %20 man or not they still has the desire to have sex, the thing here even an unattractive girl can get laid if she is not a hideous looking freak but %80 of the male population has problems with it.

[kingmaker21]

I agree with you ma'am i usually don't date unattractive women n they get triggered if i politely their offer i don't understand.

[Danny_dan92]

Nope. Not me. Women have preferences. Just like us men do

[Anonymous]

For the same reason women want men to ate women they find unattractive.

[Asker]

No one expects that of men though. No one tells or wants men to date unattractive women

[Opinion Owner]

Not true. I see just as many complaints from women about men having unreasonable standards.

[Asker]

I have never seen that unless a man said he wanted a 24 in waist blonde bombshell with double ds and a huge butt who worshipped him. That’s un unrealistic standard but most men just want a good woman who is attractive to them. Generally men complain more about standards than women.

[Opinion Owner]

It's funny, my experience is exactly the opposite of yours. I think people pay attention to certain things and ignore others based on their own biases. I hear far more complaining from women about men's unreasonable beauty standards. I see men complaining about women's standards too, but not as much.

[Roudyrebel8]

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