How to stop being so hard on myself?

[Avcfhcic]

I feel like the reason I am hard on myself is because I never feel good enough, both in career and socially.
In work if I make a mistake with something it can ruin my day and I'm angry at that mistake, even if it's something simple but a mistake.
Then with socially, I sometimes feel like my friends could do without me, and I've never been with a girl and I just don't feel good enough.
But it's getting me down a lot and I don't know how to cope or what to do...

[Madilyn]

We live in a society that teaches us that our worth is dependent upon our productivity. It’s important to remember that you are inherently whole + worthy (even when you don’t feel like it). Try to build compassion for yourself and be gentle with yourself when you make mistakes. Being hard on yourself will NOT make you more productive or more capable of achieving your goals. Tearing yourself down + adding guilt on top of the feelings you’re already experiencing will just make it worse and will keep you stuck in the cycle of trying to be productive + self-sabotaging.

[Avcfhcic]

I'm not unsuccessful, I have a master's degree etc, but I just find it harder and harder to not blame myself.

I think it does stem from my experiences with women (or should I say lack of...) But I just feel not good enough for anyone, they could always do better and I'll be left lonely for life. And that has spread to everywhere where I've got a habit of it's my fault for things that are and aren't, it's such a difficult cycle but I don't know how to break that when every day I have something knock me down

[Madilyn]

the good news this issue and a plethora of others can be fixed by simply increasing your self-esteem. Focus on the good things you have going on, improve yourself, learn a skill. Look in the mirror and value yourself as you are. Tell yourself that you're a catch and if they don't like it, good, cause they wouldn't have been a good fit anyways. you deserve a healthy happy relationship. You don't have to be a social pro to love who you are: but loving yourself will help.

[Avcfhcic]

Thank you for all of that 🙂
Easier said than done but I appreciate what you said