it should be something to talk about and discuss, yes... yes if it really is affecting you, however... depending on what actually happened
there might be a slightly different to communicate this sentiment, and that might be a bit better to have a further conversation about it
for example, instead of saying "you are hurting me" you could say "I feel hurt, I feel hurt by your actions, your words, the current situation" etcétera and maybe in this way it does sound less like an accusation that could lead them to be defensive, guarded or argumentative about it... but if you tell them how you feel it might make them more willing to listen and to talk about it
same, with the disappontment, to tell someone you are disappointed by them could be heard as "you are a disappoinment" and this is very hurtful sometimes, it can bring a bad reaction that won't be helpful, so maybe you could say I am disappointed with the situation, the circumstances, or their attitude or actions rather than the person
if the idea is to reconciliate a relationship or a situation maybe we should be more tactful, and in being more tactful it can be easier to bring it up in the first place
No. Because they know what they did That's sounds more like a person who likes to hear them self talk.. or make it all about them instead of finding out what happen or you say that just to rub there face in it or a parent would say. Once again making it all about them instead of finding out what happen Because they probably didn't go out of their way to hurt you something went wrong something happen and that's all there is to it
Know if they went out of their way to hurt you that means they know exactly what they're doing and this person that I wouldn't give the time of day and saying anything tell them about it because then they hurt you but then they you to hear you say how much they hurt you if somebody hurts you you don't need to sit there and cry and let them know that they hurt you need to walk away and stay away don't give them the benefit are the fun and letting them are you say how much they hurt you because that's what they want don't say a word walk away let it be done with over it's over
I think it's really good to speak your mind and stand up for yourself. I don't do that, I'm too afraid to do that. I feel I'm too weak to be assertive. But I think it's really important to be assertive so people don't step all over you or take advantage of you. Plus, not saying anything I feel is worse than saying something. Not saying anything is like expecting the person to read your mind. In a way it's selfish because not everyone will think of you in every given situation. They'll always think for themselves. So it's your job to speak up for yourself. The right person will respect it.
If it's a partner , family member or friend, then you should tell them. If you don't tell them, they may continue to hurt you, because they may not realize they have hurt you or just how much.
Also, it's important to set boundaries with people. If people think it's ok to hurt you then they will. It should never be okay.
If it's someone who wants to intentionally hurt you then I wouldn't tell them. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of seeing me suffer. I would just cut them out of my life
Telling people they've hurt or disappointed you will only result in them getting on the defensive, which will lead them to deny, attack or withdraw. Rather than putting the finger on them, educate them. Say, "This is what I've found works best for me," or "I remember when my dad used to do this, and I felt so special whenever he did it." Don't continue to hang around others you see merely as their potential and not who they actually are. Never personalize other people dysfunctional patterns. It's a statement about them, not you.
You seem to be a very happy person with good self-esteem, so you don't do this because you less of yourself than others. It sounds like my wife's problem too. She's SO kind and she feels such empathy for others that she won't deny anyone else help, even at her own expense. Which, when you're a spouse and parent of two kids sometimes others get the time and attention we wanted instead... and then we have to deal with the guilt trip of being selfish...🙄.
It's a balance. If you're doing it to the point of causing yourself harm (or expending resources in money and time to the detriment of your family) then you just have to learn to say no a little more often.
And of course, I read your post but my brain saw something completely different. Sorry, please disregard. I responded as if you were overextending yourself.
so you don't want to hurt others feelings or be true to yourself. you are sacraficial, but holding it in. passive aggressive?
time to do some introspection and work on healing your inner child, correcting your view of yourself.
you'll have to get a new perspective on your problem, can read childhood development or read the dalai lama book. or just practice being true to yourself.
No because they sure know what they were doing. It happen to me before I asked for abvice to someone that went threw the same situation went on shaming me for it. I just cut that person off and ignore that person now. Believe me it's not worth it. Cut them off ignore them stop talking to them. People hate it more when you stop talking to them.
Unfortunately I struggle with that too, I know I should tell people when they hurt me but it makes me feel too vulnerable to talk about it and often I feel like if I tell the person that it might start a fight so I just stay quiet because "it hurts less to not talk about it"
I dont know if you can ever stop being who you are. What you need is to find someone whom can support the part of you that you feel is a vice and help protect it or strengthen you.
The more likely thing that happens is that some people close off and become so jaded and lost that they kill that part of themselves in an almost traumatic way. And they are the worse for it.
N no its not wrong to tell n communicate bout such stuff but yes id say thats not something u should do to everyone... to many is fine... not all id say... that uve to see who u should n to whom u shouldn't
If you're close to them or god friends with them yes you should tell them. i personally want the truth more than receiving the silent treatment or outright lies. just tell me how i have upset you and allow me an opportunity to make things up for you if possible.
I've become all about just accepting the truth no matter how uncomfortable it might make me now. it allows me to understand things clearly and in my opinion can improve my relationship/friendships with other people.
It's important to address your feelings to people especially when they've hurt you. You know when it's really not ok so you need to say something. If they're a good person to you they will feel sorry and won't do it again.
Time for you to start standing your ground, let people know that they've hurt you , if you tell them it's okay they will keep doing it and keep disrespecting you. Don't let people walk over you <3...
for some people even sincere confession is a problem, they even dont understand what you said and what you feel. so you have to judge if this man is worthy of your answer.
No because if they hurt you in the first place on purpose then they never really cared much if they were able to hurt you in the first place of that makes sense
If the person who hurt you is not being abusive and your relationship is healthy or can become healthy, it is important to communicate that you were hurt and why you are hurting.
Its hard because my opinion of myself is already low, so I just accept the pain out of habit. If you're with a difficult person, don't point the finger, they will immediately defend and argue, which doesn't make anything better.
To be perfectly honest you seriously need to start taking care of yourself first! If you're truly that worn down honestly how can you help anyone else?
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