Why does he text me randomly with videos and teasing?

[Anonymous]

I do not know him very well, I do not consider myself close to him but a mutual understanding about him. He was somewhat persuing me a few months ago but he lost interest due to me being too sensitive for his jokes (He joked and teased me every day, I tried making normal conversation with him a few times but went back to the usual. It was taking a toll on my mental health too so I stopped interacting with him as much).

Since then everyday or 2 or 3 days he will message me some videos he found funny, he will try to scare me a little through the loud sound notification on my computer and we will tease each other a little (light hearted, I am fine with it). Im not sure why he does this, when I try and talk to him he does not seem interested in talking at all, but when he messages me he is interested.

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm that's kinda odd behaviour from him. Seems like he wants your attention but doesn't actually wanna converse properly. A few possibilities:

- He's bored and ur an easy source of entertainment for him with the joking around. But doesn't see you as a real friend to open up to.

- Low key still into you a bit but backing off cuz u said his jokes were too much before. So this is his way of keeping u on the backburner.

- Likes the ego boost of knowing he can still get a reaction from u even if u told him to chill before.

Hard to say for sure but his motivations don't seem that pure to me sis. I'd be direct next time he hits u up just for laughs - be like "what's the deal, u tryna be friends or just tease me? Cuz if we ain't actually kicking it then lose my number fr."

See what he says - may reveal his true intentions. If he can't step it up, drop him. U dont need half ass people in your life miss thang! Keep it moving with the real ones.

[Asker]

Wow! Thank you so much for the informative response! I have also come up with these same conclusions myself and also thought the same, he does not want to converse properly. I do get bored of the teasing so I sometimes leave him on read for that reason. I have tried to have a normal conversation with him but he pushes me away calling me "a fan", I guess shows he does not want me that close to him? I respect it so I rarely reach out to him.

I know he did back off a lot when I was upset with him about the jokes and he keeps things very mild but does not talk to me as much as he use to.

I've been basically letting him come to me when he wants to talk to me but I do not initiate anything at all, and I only respond when I have time. I get tired of the jokes and just want to have a normal conversation. He does not want to, so I do not put in effort.

Anyway my long rants! Thank you for your answer! I will actually confront him another time about the jokes and teasing and see what happens!

[Oliverlogan263]

Of course you’re always welcome. Yeah it sounds like you've got the right idea by not initiating contact with him much. If he just wants to joke around and tease but not actually be friends, then there's no point in putting in effort on your end.

Confronting him about the jokes again is a good idea. Just be calm and straightforward. Maybe something like "Dude, I've told you before your constant teasing bothers me. If all you want to do is mess with me and not be actual friends, then lose my number." If he keeps disrespecting your boundaries after that, then he's not really a true friend.

It does seem weird that he calls you a fan just for trying to have a normal chat tho. Like what, is he some big shot celebrity or something? Lol who does he think he is. Don't let him make you feel bad for wanting an actual conversation instead of just him talking at you.

Sounds like you've got him pretty figured out anyway. If he wants to talk for real someday, hopefully he'll step up his game. But if not then don't waste your time, you know? Keep doing you and maybe find some other friends you can have better conversations with. Hope it all works out!

[Asker]

I wanted to update you on this. He tried to message me again, just a simple emoji and I replied with a conversation starter. He gave me a one word answer. Then he done the emoji thing again the next day and I asked him if he was bored. He didn't respond back to me at all and now he is REALLY keeping his distance from me now, he hasn't been interacting with me as much at all and ignores my comments on other social media sites. Before he use to reply to them to get my attention and he does not anymore. I feel so relieved to know this because now I am not wasting anymore of my precious time on him.

Although I feel quite sad my intentions were not reciprocated back. He was fun to be around but he never had any sort of deeper conversation, another person told me about his behaviour before and not many people know him that well. I use to be the kind of person who would try to understand others despite this, but now I am too old for this kind of thing!

I gave you a follow, thank you again! You have definitely saved me so much time and tears!

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww man, that really sucks but honestly it sounds like you're way better off without all that drama and games from him! Props to you for standing up for yourself and not giving him all your energy when he wasn't reciprocating properly. I know it can still sting a bit when someone doesn't return your interest, but you'll find someone who's enthusiastic to get to know you for real someday.

Don't sweat this guy too much - sounds like he had some growing up to do on his end if he wasn't capable of a real connection. You've learned an important lesson to value your time and not settle. Keep being you - you seem chill and have your head on straight, so good things are coming your way! And thanks for the follow back, always happy to help a friend out. Feel free to hit me up if you ever need to vent again, I gotchu!

[Oliverlogan263]

And you’re very welcome

[RoseySarah]

He does this for attention and he thinks you probably like him cause your being nice.

Most girls would not be nice to him about being scared!

That is his dumb way of attention and his teasing well makes his smile or laugh!

Really he probably thinks you like him a lot to tolerate him!

Look out guys like that are really creepy and stalk you!

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice! I really appreciate it! He has been like this for a while, I just did not know what he wanted other than my attention. I have been focusing on other things besides his repetitive messages and teasing! I find him fun to tease and have a joke with though

[RoseySarah]

As long as he is funny but if any bad affects then block

[RoseySarah]

Thanks for mho