He's a player but wants me to be there for him... how to deal with a guy like that?

[Anonymous]

No, we're not dating. He wants me to be a listening ear... be there for him unconditionally but he talks to other women at the same time. What am I supposed to do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Man that's tough. A guy like that just wants to have his cake and eat it too, you know? He likes having you around when it's convenient for him but doesn't really respect your feelings. I'd just be straight up with him, say something like "look bro, I'm not trying to be your emotional backup plan while you mess around with other girls. If you wanna be real friends then you gotta show me some loyalty too." Don't let him take advantage. Other option is just don't even bother listening to his problems anymore if he's not giving you the same respect. Your time and feelings are valuable too! Might be hard cause you care about him, but don't let anyone make you their second choice. You deserve better than that.

[Anonymous]

There’s no such thing as unconditional. There’s always conditions. Women pick men as far as relationships based on the fact that he meets certain criteria. Just the same as men. As for being there for him unconditionally, I think he wants more than you just listening. He says that to make you feel special, like why am I different? Why did he ask me? Why didn’t he ask one of the other women to be there for him? You’re sort of backup, for his convenience. Maybe try to play on your feelings by telling you something in regards to his feelings, something to make you feel sad for him. He’s a player as you say, chances are he wants to play w you too. But he knows you’re not that type of girl so he has to come at you from another angle.

[Asker]

This is exactly how I feel. He's just feeding me what I want to hear to make me feel like he's serious but the reality is the opposite. He's all over the place with different women and I don't see that changing.

[Opinion Owner]

So then you should know what to do w this situation. Steer clear. Chances are you’re going to get your feelings hurt. Even if you said ok I’ll be there, I don’t have feelings for you so it’s cool. In things like this it’s usually always the women’s ho develop feelings over time, only to be hurt. A lot of friends with benefits situations end up like that.

[Pyrofox]

Just be honest that you are not the type that is okay with being the back up girl. If he really wants you then be honest and truthful and quit treating ya like a lost puppy to be trotted out and screwed as a last resort. It makes you look like yourself value is less and it makes him look pathetic as though he's only in it to get his D wet.

Just brace for the inevitable like GOD DAMN girl jesus so what do you wanna be serious or not then. If you are that extremely humble XD.

Ultimately players with a strong will can be tamed if thats what you want but then you gotta be already in your wife mode if you want to go this route. As any man who hears this type of complaint is like metaphorically sticking a 50 cal eagle at their jewels XD.

[jahaims]

Have standards and don't let him use you. He wants all the pros of a relationship with any cons. He uses you for emotional support and others for sex so he doesn't have to be responsible or committed.