How to avoid talking about my past?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

A classmate of mine who has had a crush on me and who I was friends with, has been messaging me.

Today he asked me if I am still engaged or taken and I answered with just “No, I am not. Why?”

He told me he has heard by some of our classmates that I was getting married and is now surprised to know I am single and he asked me why we broke up.

Is not it too private of a question? I no longer want to talk about it. Why would he ask me that?

[AviatorTom]

Next time, just answer his question with "No, I'm not." When you added "Why?" you invited him to ask the question you now don't want to answer.

Whenever someone asks a personal question, just answer a simply as possible... that will avoid these kinds of things.

[caring__1]

You can say long distance relationships are challenging, and it just didn't work out. It's more appropriate to ask what people have learned from their past experiences than seeking explanations and details about their past experiences. Just because people want to know the details, that doesn't mean you have to reveal them. Respect your limits, and let people know it's not something you discuss with those who weren't involved.

[RavenQuill]

Tell him you don't want to talk about it. Straight to his face. If that doesn't get it across, nothing will.

[katiesmuff]

Would seem to me he is hinting about maybe getting back in the saddle with you again!

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yeah, maybe that’s it. I don’t like him though that way tho

[katiesmuff]

Let him know that and be done with it!

[Andres77]

You’re awesome and he’s interested. You probably have Asperger’s.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What makes you think?

[Andres77]

Your tremendous intellect AND your inability to read all these guys that are attracted to you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

The thing is I can be quite sociable, I love making eye contact, I have never had trouble learning, always excelled at studies. I have a very expressive body language and can easily pick up social clues when I am not being impulsive. Impulsivity dulls my mind sometimes and makes me say or do stupid things that I need to correct later on.

Everything I do - I do very successfully and always take a special place wherever I go.

But my mom also thinks I might be one, because all things aside, I can concentrate on one thing a lot and keep learning about it, until I reach the level of expertise. I have trouble doing simple life tasks, like cooking. Which I can, but I’d much rather read a book, or a scientific article or learn a thing or two.

And my mom thinks I might be one. But they always expected me to be best at everything since childhood, so I have never tried getting diagnosed or anything and always tried my best to get successful at whatever I did. Which always worked.

I have amazing lifelong friendships and I have no trouble getting friends with people.

But I might be one actually, have thought of it too.

But what made you think of it from my posts?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I do understand and read that he likes me. But I don’t want to discuss my break up and I don’t know how to nicely tell him that…

[Andres77]

Just remember that IF this is the case, it’s nothing bad or wrong. Our brains just have a slightly different operating system.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you. I am pass the stage when knowing it would affect me. I was even somehow popular at school, even though I could be a little bit different, my mom trained me her best to make me less strange haha

I was almost “kicked out” from house to have fun with friends and books were hidden from me at some point.

So, this pushing made me try my best and I learned how to make uncomfortable situations into my comfort zone.

Even got sort of popular in high school.

And I still am in the constant spotlight wherever I go. I do often have public speaking sessions and I have been doing things amazing way, socially.
I am a charismatic person. Very much so.

But I feel like that’s my outside persona.

Deep down, I go home and read, study, concentrate on one thing and can’t stop till I excel in it.

I know such things that a normal woman shouldn’t know, because I am always keen on learning on them and I am extremely curious and when I am curious, I can’t stop until I learn it all.

My brain is full with lots of unnecessary information, I can be put in lots of situations and I know a lot of different things, because at some point I learned it by being curious.

I don’t think I am smart, I am just obsessed to know things and can’t stop until I learn.

But that’s me at home. (Which is a sacred place for me and where I often withdraw to do my things and learn things)

Outside I am living like a carefree butterfly.

I feel like I might be one and people who know me very close might notice too, but people who are not my family - can’t seem to see me as any different.

But it has been a little disappointing from my mother, because she would sometimes tell me things like

“I sometimes think you are a genius and sometimes I think you are silly. How can you be both?”

But thanks god, I can be silly. I think that’s what helped me fit in with society 😂

[Andres77]

Geniuses can be silly.
Those with Asperger’s aren’t ordinary, we’re extraordinary.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

😇😇😇

[Anonymous]

don't answer if you're uncomfortable. as if anyone needs to know about your private personal life.

[lightbulb27]

you want to avoid talking to them at all or about this only? e. g. you aren't interested in him?

he's on a fishing expedition... for a girl.

isn't avoidance a sign itself?

[Gent207-2]

He's clearly interested in you. Just tell him you don't want to talk about it. If he respects you he won't press the issue

[spartan55]

You don't want to talk about it? Since when? 😂😂 Kidding

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

As humans, We grow, we learn and there are things we want to keep in the past.

[love_conquers_lust]

Don’t speak of it when asked. Won’t be able to prevent the recollection until those memories have faded, if they ever do. Create new memories to forget the bad ones.

[Nikki1989]

You should tell him to mind his own business.

[Still-alive]

Just politely tell him or anyone who’s inquiring about it that you don’t want to talk about it. They should understand and not press any further.

[Sevenpointfive]

tell that homeboy to get on G@G and he won't have to be so nosey lol

[soe11]

• Do not live in the past.
• Leave the best.
• Living in the presence.
• Life goes on just a like waterfall.

[AtheArcher]

You can do a couple things
Ask politely to stop

If this person is persistent you can threaten him (empty threat)

You can ignore his existence

Or tell someone who is above both of you.

[exitseven]

Just say that you don;t want to talk about it.

[kakaling]

Some guys are just too direct and concerned about you, just tell him you don't want to talk about it, he will understand.

[Sparkie460]

Just tell him it's too upsetting to talk about it. If he's a good guy, he would understand

[msc545]

Tell him you would rather not talk about it.

[justabuddy]

Best just to tell him it's still to raw to talk about.

[elizamichale1]

U can simpy tell him not to talk about it honey

[Jennz6]

My past always comes back to me

[AmeerX]

Soon it won't. You need to believe in God 🙏

[Jennz6]

@AmeerX Master Ameer I do believe in GOD

[blackpurple]

That's kind of not his business...