If you were a married man and a woman told you…?

[Anonymous]

she had feelings for you that you were good friends with how would you react? What would you say? Would you remain friends? Etc

[DaveJord]

Hummmm... good question honestly. So I was married for 24 years and I never cheated. So at that point in my life, I would have cut contact, because I can't live with temptation, so I cut and ran. Because that is what any good person would do right?

Well, it was 24 years of a very turbulent marriage, and I never felt truly appreciated and love. But here is the thing, if I could go back and do it differently, I would have cheated on my ex-wife. Because in the end she cheated on me several times and got half my net worth in the divorce when she honestly didn't contribute equally. $800,000.00 she got, when cheated and abused me for well over a decade... but I loved her right?

Now that I have been in the dating game for over 3 years, and I see and experience what life is really about... so honestly, I have not met a woman in the last three years that I would trust like that... honestly, it's pretty fucked up out there in the dating game.

So now days if I was dating someone and someone else popped up... I would probably fuck her. Honestly, at this point if we are only dating then she is probably one step away from ghosting or removing me from her life to chase bigger fish, so why the fuck not cheat on her? Like missed out on sooooooo much pussy in my 20s and 30s, and I am pretty attractive and sex person.

But if I was ever married again, no I would never cheat on her... but for me to get back to point of marriage... then honestly, she would have to be that someone special and thought of cheating would never enter my mind.

[Asker]

Haha! Well I appreciate your point of view. As a woman who has been with the same guy for 23 years I can understand. 🙄🤣

[MrCommodore]

Yeah I wouldn't stop being friends regardless of how I feel about her, and I would keep her revelation confidential as its not an easy thing to reveal how you feel.

[Asker]

Would you change how you treat her?

[MrCommodore]

No I wouldn't change how I treat her at all, but things would feel different then.

[HelpfulWoman]

HOPEFULLY they'd set the fucking boundary that was inappopriate and cut her out if she didn't take a fucking hint... which she should have got from the whole "he's married"...

[Anonymous]

I could get sex from a married man faster than any single guy and even faster if he has kids.

[NathanDavis]

I would kindly let her know that I don't feel the same way about her...

and, that we might have to reconsider our friendship because of her feelings because it might not be a friendship anymore, or maybe never was...

and this would be the start of perhaps, a couple of very long talks and then see how it goes

[Asker]

But what if you did feel something for her? What would you say? Would you admit you think about her sometimes if she asked?

[NathanDavis]

I've never been in that situation... it has not been part of my reality

so, if you asked me to place myself in that position, it would be a hypothetical scenario... and in this hypothetical scenario I would be like a cheater and I am guessing that, as a cheater or someone who did not care for his wife and fell out of love with his wife to fall in love with another woman, while still married

then I would just do not care to hurt or consequences and maybe, probably have an affair?

but this is just an imagined scenario, lol... so, not sure if that helps you with any real input

[Asker]

@Jbear27 please calm down. I’m asking a question not for the moral police to arrest me

[Asker]

Thank you for your response!

[NathanDavis]

have you ever been in this situation before?

these things are very complex... so I am sure it is never easy

so, more than being right or wrong about it... sometimes it just happens when all of the people didn't even seek for all of it to happen the way it did

[Jbear27]

I take this incredibly personal because I had a guy “friend” of my ex wife do this to my marriage. People need to respect boundaries. My ex admits she made a mistake and wanted to try and salvage our 20 years together but nope… she had a great thing with me and the guy she cheated with was a young, unsuccessful and kinda ugly guy. I know my worth and I’m happier now that I’ve gotten divorced and moved on. I just feel sorry for our kids. But life goes on.

[Asker]

@Jbear27 I am sorry that happened to you. I think it’s complicated and people are human and marriages aren’t perfect. There are so many factors that can lead to cheating and a breakdown of a marriage and many times it’s not you the spouse who was cheated on, it’s really about the cheater and how they feel inadequate, unfulfilled, etc.

[Jbear27]

Some people just want more excitement due to aging and the need to break from routine. They get complacent and overly comfortable in the relationship and desensitized to the affections they get from their partners. Nothing I said, no matter how much I showered her with affection of gifts was good enough. She considered it smothering. We were with each other for 20 years. I’m a very attractive 43 year old man, successfully and I bought us a large house, always had new cars and I took care of her. I worked a lot due to her expensive tastes so while we would see each other every day we wouldn’t go out on dates like we used to. But to be honest I’m too old to be going out dancing and drinking every weekend. I can do dinner and a movie but my party days are behind me. She was 40 so it’s not like I married some kid. Anyhow her friend was 29 and liked going out to clubs and raves and whatever. He was ugly, already balding at 29, overweight and just dressed like a kid; drove a pos car and had a shit job and still lived with his mom. So I didn’t feel like I was in competition thus wasn’t suspicious about the relationship. But I guess the fact that this young kid was paying attention to her was seductive to her ego and she I later found out she was feeding him a bunch of bullshit that I’m neglectful and don’t pay attention to her. Biggest crock of shit ever. Tells me I smother her and him that I don’t pay attention to her. Anyhow that’s how that went. But I’m glad it happened. I’ve been having the time of my life as a single guy. I never dated much when I was younger. But now I’m literally dating beautiful runway, swimsuit and fitness models, teachers, published authors and nurses. It’s been a ride. But I’m trying to settle down now and have been in a nice relationship for the past 2 months with an amazing woman so we will see how it goes.

[Asker]

@Jbear27 Wow yeah. I guess you never know what is going to make or break a relationship. Sometimes things happen so awful that lead us to something better. I hope you are now happy and I bet you will be. I’ve seen most 2nd marriages end up even better than the first one.

[TonyMetal___86]

If i'm married, than my feelings will only be for my housewife and no one else, i will explain to the woman that she cannot have feelings for me cause i'm married, she will be wasting her time and bringing pain to herself, don't love someone who is taken cause it's useless and i'm not someone who enjoys ruining other people's relationships, in contrary i'll help them to stay together...

[Tim2nice]

I’d do my best to accommodate her. I’m capable of loving more than one woman at a time, so she’ll get plenty of love and affection from me

[Asker]

Hahaha! Well that’s honest, thank you!

[Tim2nice]

Seriously though, if you love 2 people why choose? You can share. I’ve also given my wife permission to date or love another man if she wants to.

[glennos89]

She should have told me before I was married. I'm not sure what I would do... It can cause a lot of problems within the marriage so I'm not sure what I would do

[jahaims]

I would tell her we aren't friends anymore because she doesn't respect me or my wife.