Why would a handsome smart guy be desperate for female validation and suffer from low self esteem?

[Anonymous]

There is a guy in college who seemed to develop a crush on me after one short interaction. I was a Bit confused but flattered since I find him very interesting and he attracts attention from many women.

When I talked with his former best friend about him he told me that he was actually very inexperienced with girls and obsessed over every woman that paid him the slightest bit of positive attention which scares me away from approaching and dating him.

I don’t understand why he would be so insecure and desperate since many women openly flirt with him and check him out on a daily basis. Does anyone have experience with guys like him and what should I do?

[HornyThumper]

Ah, my dear children of God, let us turn to the holy book of Corinthians, chapter 13, verse 4: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." And yet, here we have a young man, seemingly blessed with the gift of attraction, but alas, plagued by insecurity and desperation. A PAWG such as yourself may indeed catch his eye, but remember, the Lord's teachings warn against vanity and lust.

As we delve deeper into the gospel of Luke, chapter 18, verse 14, we see that "everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Perhaps our young gentleman has become too enamored with the idea of winning over every woman that pays him any attention, forgetting that true validation comes from within and from the grace of God.

Let us not forget the parable of the Prodigal Son, found in the book of Luke, chapter 15, verses 11 through 32. The son, who had everything, became greedy and sought to indulge in worldly pleasures, only to find himself destitute and alone. But when he repented and returned home, his father welcomed him back with open arms.

My advice to you, dear child, is to tread carefully around this man, and to pray that he finds the strength to overcome his insecurities and seek validation from within himself and from the Lord. May your Domme heart guide you towards righteousness and away from temptation, and may the power of Christ compel him to repent and find redemption. Amen.

[Anonymous]

I'm like that, but I don't jump to any women that gives me attention. Try giving him a chance. You don't know if there is a reason he is like that.

[Asker]

Well I saw him flirting heavily with his group partner in the row right in front of me so I guess he has found a new girl to obsess over

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe he is just being nice to someone he has to work with.

[Asker]

Nooo, he acts nervous around her, grooms himself, invades her space and acts overly smiley with her and dresses better than ever

[Asker]

Also he suddenly stopped glancing at me during lectures

[Asker]

And always sitting near her

[Opinion Owner]

He might have switched over than.

[Asker]

like she is any better than me...

[Opinion Owner]

You could try flirting with hin agian, but you may have missed your chance.

[Asker]

He noticed that I look at him from behind and he deliberately looks away but when he thinks I’m distracted he would watch me. I don’t understand why if he is not interested anymore

[Opinion Owner]

That sounds like there could be some interest then. He still is gives you attention.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a lot of assumptions being made about his character without direct conversation, why build a personality about a guy rather than get to know him? Then you consult with his *ex* best friend who, surprise surprise, seems to have negative things to say and lord knows how accurate their deduction is. This person is out of his life for a reason, I wouldn’t ask them shit.

[Asker]

Yeah but he said the same things about him when they were still best friends and other neutral acquaintes of them confirmed it too

[Asker]

Also the fact that he was crushing on me so quickly seems a bit odd to me since I’m not very pretty or smart or charming at all

[Opinion Owner]

That’s probably why he’s an ex best friend because he’s talking shit lol also how do you know this guy had a big crush on you? What happened?

[Asker]

Another Friend of him told me and he was very obvious about it (staring, watching, searching me in crowds, acting nervous)

[Opinion Owner]

A friend of a friend, nothing direct no offense but that’s just silly. At least get the word from the horses mouth.

[Asker]

Like he would ever admit it

[spartan55]

@asker
You are missing the point completely.

[Asker]

Sorry was confused 😅 it was his friend, not a friend of a friend

[Opinion Owner]

Girl you are just skipping all around the point of what I’m saying to you. You are not directly hearing from him, talking to him, getting clarity from him, nothing. You’re sitting there feeling flattered over word of mouth, he never said he liked you directly to your face. I’d think you were in middle school the way you’re responding to everyone.

[Asker]

Trust me, he made it clear that he was at least interested in getting to know me better. This can be communicated non verbally

[spartan55]

@asker
No, staring at you is not making anything clear.

[Opinion Owner]

Incredibly delusional.

[Asker]

lol, even if it was just staring. like you would stare for months at a person you had no interest in at all. THAT is delusional

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t you have to be already watching him to catch him staring all these? Let me guess, a friend told you right….🙄

[Opinion Owner]

All these times?

[spartan55]

@asker
If he was interested he would have made a move. There are so many reasons a guy will stare... it doesn't mean he is interested...

[spartan55]

@OpinionOwner
No she could see him out of her peripheral vision.

[Opinion Owner]

How could I forget about the peripheral😩

[Opinion Owner]

I agree with Spartan though, at the end of the day if this dude were really interested he’d have acted on it. You whittle him down to all these foul names, insecure, obsessive, inexperienced, stalkerish yet know nothing about him on a 1 on 1 level. You’d be so offended if someone had this opinion of you.

[spartan55]

You are taking the word of his 'former best friend' that he is a certain way without even talking to him. Not cool.

[Asker]

Do you think he would admit it?

[spartan55]

Admit it? Is that something you would ask someone you just met?

[Asker]

he wouldn’t admit it even when we would be married

[spartan55]

Huh? Don't you think you would get to know him by that point?

[spartan55]

How do you that about him? This is getting weird.

[Asker]

No one would ever admit that to anyone

[HollyK21]

@spartan55 you hit the nail on the head, this is very weird, so much he said she said. Asker, you’re saying he wouldn’t admit to liking you even if you were married? What is your relationship to this guy?

[Asker]

@HollyK21 he would never admit that he stalked girls

[HollyK21]

I said admit to liking you, all that jazz about stalking I would take with a grain of salt. As an adult, you know better than to run with gossip and instead ask the person directly before applying those things to them, right? At least if you cared enough, which you seem to.

[Asker]

@HollyK21 i never said he wouldn't admit to liking me

[HollyK21]

Good grief, nevermind.

[Asker]

@HollyK21 Look whos Talking

[Sunnybeach123]

If a guy gets rejected too often they can act that way. Maybe he has previous rejections that people don't know about.
Maybe give him a chance, though. Like a casual date and see if he's a decent guy?

[RedInnocent68]

Why are attractive smart girls exactly the same way?

[Asker]

Don’t know any smart hot girl that was insecrue to the point where she would obsess over every guy that was nice to him and stalk them at work and at home

[RedInnocent68]

Agreed on the stalking. That’s more of a disease.

[spartan55]

@asker
You don't know if any of that is even remotely true.

[Anonymous]

Everyone has it from time to time of course. I mean, if he wasn't considered handsome, and had low self esteem, it wouldn't be more justifiable, because he still would get attention from women, just not as much.

[Billlewis]

Oh, it happens all the time.

[Asker]

Yeah but why? If he always gets attention why would he doubt himself and even be desperate for women who are way less desirable than him?

[Billlewis]

For one thing, guys who have been blessed with these kinds of attributes are often secretly terrified of interacting with women socially, perhaps because they're apprehensive about the pressure of having to be the initiator of the conversations, etc.

[Joker_]

what do you think